Frost: That's right. Then cut to the back where Kurt "Iron Hammer" Davies approached President Anarchy for a match. President Anarchy was seen sitting at his desk, he did not look well.
Ice: He was obviously pulling on his hair, stressed out. It was funny, his hair was sticking out all over the place.
Frost: Stress indeed, but resovled? He suggested the "Iron Man" take on Chris Cougar for the Franchise belt contendership. Davies questioned Cougar's talent, and then Cougar busted into the room claiming he was former Mr. Franchise of the NWCW. Anarchy noded.
Ice: The two men stared down, then both signed the match. I cannot wait. Well Anyway...
Frost: Yes, the other Dark Match...
Frost: He didn't have a chance to defend himself. Ravyn Starr had the big monster Devon Storm hold Death down at one point, and repeatidly dropped fist on him. Anywho...
Ice: Anywho...? Anyhow, The two must have thought it out. Frost, Is there any stipulations in a Hardcore match?
Frost: No.
Ice: Exactly, so the two beat the crap out of Death Himself just to beat the crap out of him. Needless to say, the Hardcore title is 24/7 so even Death Himself, who was the OBVIOUS loser in this handicapp match, could try and win the belt next week.
Frost: So the ref declared HTT the winners, both of them, and it should be interesting to see if one or both of them try for the Hardcore title next week.
Ice: I guess it's up to them who wants to be signed on the card...offically that is.
Frost: Thats right, Chris. Let's get this thing started...
::"Guerilla Radio" by Rage Against The Machine blasts over the p.a. system as the lights go dim. Out from the curtains comes Slash and Shadow of The Hunters. The crowd has somewhat of a mixed reaction as some cheer and some boo. They walk down the aisle and slides right into the ring. The lights turn on::
Tiff Taylor: The following match is schedueled for a one fall. Coming to the ring first weighing at a combined weight of 438 pounds... The Hunters!!!
::"Guerilla Radio" gets shut off and "Twist" by Korn replaces it. The fans begin to cheer as GiantKiller and Drag-On steps out. They walk down the aisle.::
Tiff Taylor: And their opponents... weighing in at a combined weight of 561 pounds... The Hell Razors!!!!
::The Hell Razors walk up the stairs and step into the ring.::
Ice: The ref now checking for any foreign objects.
Frost: Yep, and it looks like Drag-On and Slash are going to start this one off.
Ice: The two now staring each other down.
Frost: They lock up, and Slash gets the upper advantage.. catching Drag-On in a headlock.
Ice: Drag-On whips him to the ropes and hits a back body drop.
Frost: He hit the mat hard there. Drag-On picks Slash up and gives him three lefts to the head followed up by a kick to the stomach.
Ice: What an ax kick to the back of the head by Drag-On.
::Drag-On picks up Slash, but is caught with a low blow to the groin. Slash now stomping on Drag-On. Slash walks over to his corner with Drag-On in his hands and tags in Shadow. Shadow kicks Drag-On in the stomach followed up by a diving powerbomb.::
Ice: Nice powerbomb by Shadow there.
::Shadow now climbs to the top rope and leaps off with an elbow, but Drag-On rolls out of the way and tags in GiantKiller. Killer walks over to the hurting Shadow and begins to wail on him. GiantKiller picks up Shadow and whips him into the turnbuckles.::
Frost: GiantKiller now going for the top rope double underhook suplex...
Ice:.. And he hits it. That took some wind out of the Killer too.
Frost: With a move like that.. of course it did.
::GiantKiller rolls over for the pin.::
Ice: 1..2. kickout!
Frost: It's a bit too early for that.
Ice: Maybe he wants to take this one home early?
Frost: Shut up, smartass.
::GiantKiller and Shadow now up, and they lock up. GiantKiller gets the advantage, but lets go and goes for a clothesline on Shadow, but Shadow ducks and hits a neckbreaker on GiantKiller::
Ice: I could've sworn I heard a crunch sound somewhere there.
Frost: Yeah, no kidding.
::As GiantKiller tends to his head, Shadow walks over to Slash and tags him back in. Slash climbs up the top rope and leaps off to hit a shooting star press.::
Ice: What a show of agility by Slash there.
Frost: Slash with the pin... 1..2.. kickout!!!
Ice: Whoa. That was a surpring one. I thought it was over.
Frost: Slash looking somewhat frustrated now. He picks GiantKiller up and hits a suplex.
Ice: He held on and it seems he's going for another.
Frost: He hit that one too. He's going for one more... nope... GiantKiller reversed it and picks Slash up for a brainbuster!!
Ice: Ouch.
::GiantKiller whips Slash into his teams territory. He tags in Drag-On.::
Frost: Looks like they're going for a doubleteam.
Ice: Killer and Drag-On now setting Slash up for a double powerbomb.
Frost: WHOA! What impact on that move. I felt the floor shake on that one.
Ice: Yeah, but I bet Slash felt his back crack on that one.
Frost: It looks like Drag-On is now getting a little cocky. Drag-On runs to the ropes and comes back with an elbow drop..
Ice: Wait... Slash just rolled Drag-On up with a school boy!!!!!!
Frost: 1..2...3!!!
Ice: What bullshit!
Frost: Hey.. thats what you get when you try to play around. Especially against The Hunters. These guys along with The Hell Razors are upcoming Tag Champs. I can see it already.
::The Hunters quickly flea with their hands being raised by the ref. The Hell Razors are LIVID.::
Tiff Taylor: Winners and number one contenders for the Tag Team Titles... The Hunters!!!!
Ice: Boy, what a match. What bullshit at the end, but was a good match nonetheless.
Frost: Couldn't agree with you anymore, Ice.
Ice: Of course you couldn't.
Frost: ANYways... we're going to commercial, folks. We'll be right back.
::The camera fades to the back where we see the "Zombie" Ashton Steele laying it to Tyler Durten with a steel chair in the back. Ashton attempts an irish whip into a brick wall, but Tyler reverses it and sends Steele into it. Tyler grabs Steele and locks him in a sleeper on the floor.::
Ice: Looks like this might be a little more technical then we thought.
Frost: Steele breaks it with a chinbuster and then begins to kick away at Durten while he's lying on the ground. Steele picks Durten up and starts dragging him towards the ring. The camera shifts and we see them headed out through the audience.
Ice: Durten begins giving Steele some elbows, to kick out of the headlock that Steele had him in. Durten tosses him over the rails and onto the mat. Ouch.
Frost: Durten climbs over after Steele, but Steele nails him with constant lefts and rights in the stomach. Steel then rolls Durten in the ring and goes after him, nailing him with kicks left and right.
Ice: Steele puts Durten in an armbar right in the middle of the ring, but Durten grabs the ropes. Steele lets go and takes the padding off of one of the turnbuckles, but right after he's done Durten nails him with swift kick in the groin.
Frost: Who's job are you doing. I'm the damn commentator.
Ice: Durten suplexes Steele and then nails him with a leg drop. 1...2.. and a kickout by Steele.
Frost: My turn. Durten picks Steele up and try's to send him into the corner with the exposed turnbuckle, but Steele reverses it and Durten goes head first into the exposed steel. Steele goes for the pin. 1...2.. and a kickout. Ashton picks Durten off the mat and throws him over the top rope.
Ice: Steele fly's through the ropes but Durten dodges and Steele...eats steel.
Frost: Great hardcore action we have here. Durten grabs tears the mat from the floor to expose the concrete. Durten attempts to piledrive Steele into it, but Steele reverses it into a back body drop.
Ice: Steele picks up the ring bell from over by the announcers table. Steele charges Durten but Durten ducks and then turns around to deliver the Durtgrinder right through the spanish announcer table.
Frost: Theres a cover.. 1..2.. and 3.
Tiff Taylor: You're winner...and still Hardcore Champion...Tyler Durten! Ice: Holy Jesus, look at Steele. He's bleeding all over, but he is seems to be trying to get up.
Frost: He's up. Groggy, but up! Durten is celebrating by giving the crowd the middle finger as he ascends the ramp, and Steele is slowly going after him. We'll keep you posted.
Ice: Eh, he can't keep up. He looks like he's gonna bleed to death.
Chris Ice: Yeah, you think so, Nicky baby? This one got REAL personal, REAL fast!
Nick Frost: Indeed it did, as simple trash talking quickly crossed the line! Let's throw it up, once again, to Tiff Taylor, and...
Chris Ice: Get the party started!
Tiff Taylor: This match is scheduled for one fall, with a sixty minute time limit! Entering the ring first, accompanied by the lovely Jenna, standing six feet, four inches, and weighing in at two hundred forty three pounds... "SEXY" STEEEEEEEEVE SOMEERRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!
~Rob Zombie's Never Gonna Stop kicks in, as the fans come alive. Somers appears at the top of the ramp, with a bottled water in his hand. He empties it over his head, letting it saturate his golden locks~
Ice: Look at Somers, he looks ready, Nicky!
Frost: Definitely, Steve Somers is one of the most talked about newcomers to the FWA that we've seen in a long time! Probably since... Kid Punk came along!
Ice: Absolutely, VERY good point there, N Fro!
~Never Gonna Stop dies out, as Somers paces the ring, staring at the entrance. Pennywise's Fuck Authority starts up, eliciting a huge reaction of boos from the Denver fans~
Tiff Taylor: And his opponent, from San Jose, California, standing at an even six feet, and weighing in at two hundred fifteen pounds, representing Blow Me, Inc, he IS one half of the FWA Tag Team Champion F'N JerkOffs, KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID PUNK!!!
~Punk steps out from behind the curtain, a forty of Olde English in his hand. He opens it up, and pours it over HIS head~
Ice: Look at him, Nicky! He's gonna keep going with the games till the last second! Kid Punk isn't some bush league rookie, he knows how to get under someone's skin!
Frost: Well, Somers thus far has managed to keep his cool, you gotta wonder if Punk's words or actions have even registered on Somers!
~Punk drops the bottle, and darts to the ring, sliding beneath the bottom rope. Once to his feet, the two begin trading shots~
Frost: Here we go, folks! No staredowns! No trash talking! No collar to elbows!
Ice: NO COLLAR TO ELBOWS?!? IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?!?
Frost: Everything out the window here, as Somers and Punk stand toe to toe with each other, BOTH trading wicked rights and lefts! Punk now going for a double leg takedown, and Somers trying to keep an advantage with a front chancery!
Ice: Punk has him up, and he takes him down! Beautiful old school take down from Punk! Somers continues to hold the front facelock here, and Punk's moving... BEAUTIFUL REVERSAL! He slipped right out of it, and now he's got Somers on the mat, with a hammerlock cinched in!
Frost: The hammerlock is so dangerous, he could separate that shoulder at any second!
Ice: Oh, but Somers showed a great presence of mind there, and wrapped his feet around the bottom rope, and Punk breaks the hold!
~Somers gets back to his feet, and Punk nods his head arrogantly. The fans come alive, cheering the display from both men~
Frost: This crowd is definitely into this one, they know that something big is on the verge of happening... The two men now circling each other, and NOW they engage in THE STANDARD~!
Ice: Collar to elbow, and the stronger Somers powers Punk into the corner, and here comes the break... a clean break, even! I'll be damned
Frost: He's just playing some games with Punk now. Somers is pretty much saying, Hey, I COULD have done something to you, but I chose not to
Ice: Oh, is THAT what he was saying? I couldn't tell. Thank God I have you around here...
Frost: No problem. Another attempt at a lockup here, and Punk slips around, waistlock, and he takes Somers down HARD with a front leg sweep. Punk now... LOOK AT THAT!
Ice: I LOVE IT! Punk with an amateur style helicopter move here, just showing his dominance. For the record, Punk's pretty much saying, Hey slutass, I've got your janky ass down, and I'm kickin it hard! Damn, I'm good
~Punk gets off, and as Somers gets to a knee, Punk unleashes a WICKED dropkick to his face~
Frost: OH! And NOW the gloves come off! Punk with a HUGE cheap shot there, and Somers is down! Punk putting the boots to Somers, and there's a soccer kick to the ribs! And another! And ANOTHER! Punk knows that he's got to keep the bigger Somers down, so that he can utilize some of his aerial tools!
Ice: Hey now, don't forget, Punk IS a black belt, man! Those kicks aren't just random or nothing!
Frost: Punk with a handful of hair to bring Somers back to his feet, and immediately into a side headlock! Somers pushes Punk off, sending him into the ropes... leapfrog by Somers... OH! Punk dropped to a knee, and Somers just inadvertantly gave HIMSELF an atomic drop! What a smart move there by Punk!
Ice: HAHAHAHA! You just don't see stuff like THAT anymore! Punk put the brakes on, and let Somers do the damage to himself! Beautiful!
Frost: Punk staying on the offensive here, he's got the legs... possibly a boston crab or a Sharpshooter...
Ice: OH! Or how about the ol' Greco Roman Legdrop to the NARDS?!?
Frost: Definitely an effective maneuver, but Punk better be careful, or he could end up getting himself disqualified!
Ice: Yeah right! The ref knows that if this match doesn't have a decisive finish, these Denver fans will riot! I mean, come on, they got nothing BETTER to do!
Frost: Whatever the case may be, you cannot let the fans dictate how a match ends! Fair is fair! Some people just whine WAY too much!
Ice: Easy there, tiger!
Frost: Sorry!
Ice: ANYways... Punk is staying on the attack here, he's got a side leglock, possibly trying to weaken up the knee for a Tijuana Cloverleaf?
Frost: Excellent point! Punk switching up his usual style, maybe hoping to throw Steve off his game! Somers is screaming in agony here!
~Somers reaches for the ropes, using his left arm to push himself closer. The fans start chanting his name. Somers finally reaches the ropes, forcing another break~
Ice: Man, you gotta give it to Punk here. He's really started off strong. Somers hasn't had much offense since the opening flurry
Frost: Punk came ready, and that's a very dangerous thing
~Punk brings Somers back to his feet, and attempts a standing Frankensteiner, which Somers counters by falling back, dropping Punk, neck first, across the top rope~
Ice: HOLY CRAP what a counter! Beautiful move by Somers, and he's DEFINITELY bought himself some time!
Frost: But he isn't gonna use it! Look, he's back to his feet already!
~As Punk clutches at his throat, Somers grabs him by the waistline of his shorts, and lifts him to his feet. Punk swings, and Somers ducks, and snapping Punk back with a vicious release german suplex~
Frost: Somers with a HUGE suplex! He dropped Punk RIGHT onto his head! What power by Steve Somers! Somers grabbing Punk by the hair, bringing him to his feet...
Ice: Irish whip into the corner! OH! Punk SLAMMED into the turnbuckle STERNUM FIRST! He may have whiplash from the way his head snapped back like that! This match is about to get VERY ugly!
Frost: I think you're right. Somers isn't even giving Punk a second to rest here... he's got him up again, and now he's put him on the top turnbuckle. What the hell is he gonna try?
Ice: I don't know, but it won't be good for Punk, whatever it is!
~Somers climbs up top, and brings Punk to his feet~
Frost: And here comes the Superplex...
Ice: OH MY GOD!!! Somers switched IN MID AIR into a Jackhammer! I have NEVER seen ANYONE bust out a top rope Jackhammer before! Somers grabs the cover... two... NO! Punk got the shoulder up!
Frost: And that was a VERY close two count, considering that was the first cover of the night! Steve Somers... what a move!
Ice: And Somers now climbing up top himself... he's letting Punk get back to his feet...
Frost: Flying clothesline! I think he took Punk's head off with THAT shot! Punk was turned inside out and upside down!
Ice: Punk may be legally dead. Steve Somers said he was gonna bring the pain, and good lord, with two moves, he's done just that
Frost: And AGAIN Somers bringing Punk to his feet... powerbomb coming up...
~As Somers lifts Punk, Punk shoots his leg out, knocking the referee in the face, and thusly, out cold~
Frost: What the hell?!?
Ice: Punk with a sunset flip reversal!
Frost: Did Punk do that on purpose?!?
Ice: Are you kidding? It's a powerbomb! His legs fly out! The ref was too close, alright?!?
Frost: Both men to their feet, Somers charges...
Ice: Drop toe hold by Punk!
Frost: Somers up again, and...
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOH!
Ice: HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL! Punk just hit one of those trademark black belt karate kicks... right into Somers' special area. I think every man that's watching this is weeping right now...
Frost: That dirty son of a bitch! I KNEW Punk was up to no good!
Ice: Well duh, Nicky! He IS the bad guy here...
~With Somers down, Punk heads outside, and grabs a chair~
Frost: What's that no good cheater gonna try now?
Ice: I'm sure he's gonna SHOW us in a second, retard!
Frost: Punk heading up to the top rope... Somers getting to his feet...
Ice: CHAIR ASSISTED MISSILE DROPKICK! UNBE-FRICKIN-LIEVABLE! Punk held the chair under his feet like a skateboard or something, and just CLOBBERED Somers in the face! And now he's got the cover! The ref's coming to!
Frost: No way! Not like this!
Ice: ONE!
Frost: This is not fair!
Ice: TWO!
Frost: HOLD ON! Jenna just pulled the ref out! And look at Punk! He's eyeing her!
Ice: Oh man, Nick, Jenna just made a HUGE mistake. She's been talking quite a bit of trash about Punk this past week, and NOW, with Somers out cold, she's REALLY pissed Punk off! And Punk gives chase!
Frost: Oh, it really takes a tough guy to beat up a woman, doesn't it?
Ice: Hey, SHE got involved, so it's HER fault, alright?!?
~Jenna runs around the ring, screaming. She enters the ring, dropping her purse. Before she can leave, however, Punk grabs her~
Ice: Oh man, this is gonna hurt her a LOT more than it hurts Punk!
Frost: That bastard! That piece of crap BASTARD! Ice: Somers is starting to come to... Punk better hurry up if he's gonna do anything!
~Punk grabs Jenna by the hair, and hooks her head under his arm~
Frost: NO! NO!!!
Ice: OH CRAP! DDT BY PUNK! He just DDT'd Jenna! I don't believe it!
Frost: Wait, Somers is up, he's got that purse!
Ice: WHOA! He PASTED Punk across the face with that! Punk is DOWN! What the HELL is in that purse?!?
Frost: I think he's about to show us...
~Somers opens the purse, and pulls out...~
Ice: WHAT?!?
Frost: That's a bottle of Olde English! He just dropped Punk with Punk's weapon of choice!
Ice: Oh dude... SOMEONE'S been doing their homework! But there is STILL no referee!
Frost: I don't think Somers cares right now, Jenna is not moving at all... Punk dropped her right on her head with that DDT. Somers is checking on Jenna...
Ice: Which is a HUGE mistake, he NEEDS to stay on Punk!
Frost: Well, I agree, but I understand why he's not.
~Suddenly, the fans start to murmur a bit louder~
Frost: What's going on?!?
Ice: It's Dawkins! Dawkins just came through the crowd, and he's got that bottle of OE that Somers used!
Frost: Oh no! NOT LIKE THIS!
Ice: Turn around, Steve-O!
~Dawkins taps Somers on the shoulder, and as Somers turns, SHATTERS the bottle over his head~
Frost: NO!!!
Ice: HOLY CRAP! Dawkins just evened the score!
Frost: Are you kidding me?!? He's not part of this match at all!
Ice: Oh, but Jenna, and her loaded purse are, huh? Screw you Nick, you only root for your favorites! You're NEVER FAIR!
Frost: You're DEFINITELY one to talk about fair! Regardless, Dawkins is helping Punk to his feet, Somers is COVERED in blood, and Jenna is STILL unconscious! Can we PLEASE get some help out here?
Ice: Dawk's heading back now, and look at Punk... he's got a HUGE grin on his face!
Frost: I'm sure he does! HOLD ON! Look at the ramp! That's Jared Blazer! He and Dawkins are going at it on the ramp!
Ice: But look in the ring... Punk's got the cover on Somers, and here comes the referee!
Ref: ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!
Ice: PUNK WINS!
Frost: NO NO NO!!! Somers got his shoulder up! The referee is signalling TWO!
Ice: That was a CRIMINALLY SLOW COUNT!
Frost: Punk cannot believe it, he thought he had the win there, but Somers SOMEHOW kicked at the last possible moment!
Ice: But Punk's not stupid! He's going up top! It could be time for a Full Circle Press!!!
Frost: It is! Punk just gave the sign... the double bird salute!!!
Ice: Punk leaps!!! And lands!!!
Frost: ON SOMERS KNEES!!! Somers got the knees up, and Punk is HURTING BAD!!! Somers is SLOWLY getting to this feet! He's been battered, he's been bloodied... Jenna has been assaulted... he will NOT give up!!!
Ice: You HAVE to take your hat off to Steve Somers, he's still VERY much in this one!
Frost: Somers is up... Punk to HIS feet... Punk with a right, Somers ducks it!
Ice: Somers with a boot to those weakened ribs!!! ONE NIGHT STAND!!! He's got the arms hooked, he lifts Punk up... HE HIT IT! I do NOT believe this is happening!!!
Frost: Punk was just DROPPED with Somers' patented One Night Stand! Cover! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! HE GOT HIM!!!
Ice: I don't know what you're thinking, but look at Punk's foot! It's on the bottom rope! Steve didn't hook the leg, and he just paid the price for it!
Frost: Oh, can you believe this? Will this one EVER end? Somers thought he had it, and I'm sure the last thing on his mind was hooking the leg!
Ice: Somers has Punk up again... he's going for ANOTHER One Night Stand!
Frost: Hooks the arms!!!
Ice: Wait! Punk breaks free! Double leg trip! Somersault cover!!!
Ref: ONE!!!
Frost: Wait! Punk's got his feet on the ropes!
Ref: TWO!!!
Ice: He can't get them free, Nick!
Frost: He's CHEATING, Chris!
Ref: THREE!!!
Ice: YEEEAAH!!!
Frost: What a crock!
Tiff Taylor: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, Kid... PUNK!!!
Frost: Damn it! He had his feet BURIED in the ropes for leverage!
Ice: Oh man, what a GREAT win! Look at Somers, he is in total disbelief! Punk got him! Somers said he'd be ready for anything, but apparently, he wasn't!
Frost: That was ridiculous! And look at Punk, acting concerned about Jenna! What a piece of garbage!
Ice: Let's look at the replay! You see Punk break his arms free, and grab Somers legs! Then he goes old school with a somersault cover, and thanks to being so close to the ropes, his feet are ACCIDENTALLY caught in them! He does his best to free them, but he can't do it in those three short seconds, and just like that, Punk is your winner!
Frost: For those of us in REALITY, you saw it with your own eyes... Punk had his feet in the ropes, and he just ROBBED Somers of a victory! But now, Somers is tending to Jenna, and FINALLY, here come the EMTs!
Ice: Hopefully they'll get her good for nothing, CHEATING ass outta the ring by the time we come back!
Nick Frost: Oh man, Chris, what a HUGE encounter we have up next... what started off as just a professional rivalry has turned into a bitter, BITTER personal feud between "Sexy" Steve Somers and one half of the tag team champion JerkOffs, Kid Punk
Chris Ice: Yeah, you think so, Nicky baby? This one got REAL personal, REAL fast!
Nick Frost: Indeed it did, as simple trash talking quickly crossed the line! Let's throw it up, once again, to Tiff Taylor, and...
Chris Ice: Get the party started!
Tiff Taylor: This match is scheduled for one fall, with a sixty minute time limit! Entering the ring first, accompanied by the lovely Jenna, standing six feet, four inches, and weighing in at two hundred forty three pounds... "SEXY" STEEEEEEEEVE SOMEERRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!
~Rob Zombie's Never Gonna Stop kicks in, as the fans come alive. Somers appears at the top of the ramp, with a bottled water in his hand. He empties it over his head, letting it saturate his golden locks~
Ice: Look at Somers, he looks ready, Nicky!
Frost: Definitely, Steve Somers is one of the most talked about newcomers to the FWA that we've seen in a long time! Probably since... Kid Punk came along!
Ice: Absolutely, VERY good point there, N Fro!
~Never Gonna Stop dies out, as Somers paces the ring, staring at the entrance. Pennywise's Fuck Authority starts up, eliciting a huge reaction of boos from the Denver fans~
Tiff Taylor: And his opponent, from San Jose, California, standing at an even six feet, and weighing in at two hundred fifteen pounds, representing Blow Me, Inc, he IS one half of the FWA Tag Team Champion F'N JerkOffs, KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID PUNK!!!
~Punk steps out from behind the curtain, a forty of Olde English in his hand. He opens it up, and pours it over HIS head~
Ice: Look at him, Nicky! He's gonna keep going with the games till the last second! Kid Punk isn't some bush league rookie, he knows how to get under someone's skin!
Frost: Well, Somers thus far has managed to keep his cool, you gotta wonder if Punk's words or actions have even registered on Somers!
~Punk drops the bottle, and darts to the ring, sliding beneath the bottom rope. Once to his feet, the two begin trading shots~
Frost: Here we go, folks! No staredowns! No trash talking! No collar to elbows!
Ice: NO COLLAR TO ELBOWS?!? IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?!?
Frost: Everything out the window here, as Somers and Punk stand toe to toe with each other, BOTH trading wicked rights and lefts! Punk now going for a double leg takedown, and Somers trying to keep an advantage with a front chancery!
Ice: Punk has him up, and he takes him down! Beautiful old school take down from Punk! Somers continues to hold the front facelock here, and Punk's moving... BEAUTIFUL REVERSAL! He slipped right out of it, and now he's got Somers on the mat, with a hammerlock cinched in!
Frost: The hammerlock is so dangerous, he could separate that shoulder at any second!
Ice: Oh, but Somers showed a great presence of mind there, and wrapped his feet around the bottom rope, and Punk breaks the hold!
~Somers gets back to his feet, and Punk nods his head arrogantly. The fans come alive, cheering the display from both men~
Frost: This crowd is definitely into this one, they know that something big is on the verge of happening... The two men now circling each other, and NOW they engage in THE STANDARD~!
Ice: Collar to elbow, and the stronger Somers powers Punk into the corner, and here comes the break... a clean break, even! I'll be damned
Frost: He's just playing some games with Punk now. Somers is pretty much saying, Hey, I COULD have done something to you, but I chose not to
Ice: Oh, is THAT what he was saying? I couldn't tell. Thank God I have you around here...
Frost: No problem. Another attempt at a lockup here, and Punk slips around, waistlock, and he takes Somers down HARD with a front leg sweep. Punk now... LOOK AT THAT!
Ice: I LOVE IT! Punk with an amateur style helicopter move here, just showing his dominance. For the record, Punk's pretty much saying, Hey slutass, I've got your janky ass down, and I'm kickin it hard! Damn, I'm good
~Punk gets off, and as Somers gets to a knee, Punk unleashes a WICKED dropkick to his face~
Frost: OH! And NOW the gloves come off! Punk with a HUGE cheap shot there, and Somers is down! Punk putting the boots to Somers, and there's a soccer kick to the ribs! And another! And ANOTHER! Punk knows that he's got to keep the bigger Somers down, so that he can utilize some of his aerial tools!
Ice: Hey now, don't forget, Punk IS a black belt, man! Those kicks aren't just random or nothing!
Frost: Punk with a handful of hair to bring Somers back to his feet, and immediately into a side headlock! Somers pushes Punk off, sending him into the ropes... leapfrog by Somers... OH! Punk dropped to a knee, and Somers just inadvertantly gave HIMSELF an atomic drop! What a smart move there by Punk!
Ice: HAHAHAHA! You just don't see stuff like THAT anymore! Punk put the brakes on, and let Somers do the damage to himself! Beautiful!
Frost: Punk staying on the offensive here, he's got the legs... possibly a boston crab or a Sharpshooter...
Ice: OH! Or how about the ol' Greco Roman Legdrop to the NARDS?!?
Frost: Definitely an effective maneuver, but Punk better be careful, or he could end up getting himself disqualified!
Ice: Yeah right! The ref knows that if this match doesn't have a decisive finish, these Denver fans will riot! I mean, come on, they got nothing BETTER to do!
Frost: Whatever the case may be, you cannot let the fans dictate how a match ends! Fair is fair! Some people just whine WAY too much!
Ice: Easy there, tiger!
Frost: Sorry!
Ice: ANYways... Punk is staying on the attack here, he's got a side leglock, possibly trying to weaken up the knee for a Tijuana Cloverleaf?
Frost: Excellent point! Punk switching up his usual style, maybe hoping to throw Steve off his game! Somers is screaming in agony here!
~Somers reaches for the ropes, using his left arm to push himself closer. The fans start chanting his name. Somers finally reaches the ropes, forcing another break~
Ice: Man, you gotta give it to Punk here. He's really started off strong. Somers hasn't had much offense since the opening flurry
Frost: Punk came ready, and that's a very dangerous thing
~Punk brings Somers back to his feet, and attempts a standing Frankensteiner, which Somers counters by falling back, dropping Punk, neck first, across the top rope~
Ice: HOLY CRAP what a counter! Beautiful move by Somers, and he's DEFINITELY bought himself some time!
Frost: But he isn't gonna use it! Look, he's back to his feet already!
~As Punk clutches at his throat, Somers grabs him by the waistline of his shorts, and lifts him to his feet. Punk swings, and Somers ducks, and snapping Punk back with a vicious release german suplex~
Frost: Somers with a HUGE suplex! He dropped Punk RIGHT onto his head! What power by Steve Somers! Somers grabbing Punk by the hair, bringing him to his feet...
Ice: Irish whip into the corner! OH! Punk SLAMMED into the turnbuckle STERNUM FIRST! He may have whiplash from the way his head snapped back like that! This match is about to get VERY ugly!
Frost: I think you're right. Somers isn't even giving Punk a second to rest here... he's got him up again, and now he's put him on the top turnbuckle. What the hell is he gonna try?
Ice: I don't know, but it won't be good for Punk, whatever it is!
~Somers climbs up top, and brings Punk to his feet~
Frost: And here comes the Superplex...
Ice: OH MY GOD!!! Somers switched IN MID AIR into a Jackhammer! I have NEVER seen ANYONE bust out a top rope Jackhammer before! Somers grabs the cover... two... NO! Punk got the shoulder up!
Frost: And that was a VERY close two count, considering that was the first cover of the night! Steve Somers... what a move!
Ice: And Somers now climbing up top himself... he's letting Punk get back to his feet...
Frost: Flying clothesline! I think he took Punk's head off with THAT shot! Punk was turned inside out and upside down!
Ice: Punk may be legally dead. Steve Somers said he was gonna bring the pain, and good lord, with two moves, he's done just that
Frost: And AGAIN Somers bringing Punk to his feet... powerbomb coming up...
~As Somers lifts Punk, Punk shoots his leg out, knocking the referee in the face, and thusly, out cold~
Frost: What the hell?!?
Ice: Punk with a sunset flip reversal!
Frost: Did Punk do that on purpose?!?
Ice: Are you kidding? It's a powerbomb! His legs fly out! The ref was too close, alright?!?
Frost: Both men to their feet, Somers charges...
Ice: Drop toe hold by Punk!
Frost: Somers up again, and...
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOH!
Ice: HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL! Punk just hit one of those trademark black belt karate kicks... right into Somers' special area. I think every man that's watching this is weeping right now...
Frost: That dirty son of a bitch! I KNEW Punk was up to no good!
Ice: Well duh, Nicky! He IS the bad guy here...
~With Somers down, Punk heads outside, and grabs a chair~
Frost: What's that no good cheater gonna try now?
Ice: I'm sure he's gonna SHOW us in a second, retard!
Frost: Punk heading up to the top rope... Somers getting to his feet...
Ice: CHAIR ASSISTED MISSILE DROPKICK! UNBE-FRICKIN-LIEVABLE! Punk held the chair under his feet like a skateboard or something, and just CLOBBERED Somers in the face! And now he's got the cover! The ref's coming to!
Frost: No way! Not like this!
Ice: ONE!
Frost: This is not fair!
Ice: TWO!
Frost: HOLD ON! Jenna just pulled the ref out! And look at Punk! He's eyeing her!
Ice: Oh man, Nick, Jenna just made a HUGE mistake. She's been talking quite a bit of trash about Punk this past week, and NOW, with Somers out cold, she's REALLY pissed Punk off! And Punk gives chase!
Frost: Oh, it really takes a tough guy to beat up a woman, doesn't it?
Ice: Hey, SHE got involved, so it's HER fault, alright?!?
~Jenna runs around the ring, screaming. She enters the ring, dropping her purse. Before she can leave, however, Punk grabs her~
Ice: Oh man, this is gonna hurt her a LOT more than it hurts Punk!
Frost: That bastard! That piece of crap BASTARD! Ice: Somers is starting to come to... Punk better hurry up if he's gonna do anything!
~Punk grabs Jenna by the hair, and hooks her head under his arm~
Frost: NO! NO!!!
Ice: OH CRAP! DDT BY PUNK! He just DDT'd Jenna! I don't believe it!
Frost: Wait, Somers is up, he's got that purse!
Ice: WHOA! He PASTED Punk across the face with that! Punk is DOWN! What the HELL is in that purse?!?
Frost: I think he's about to show us...
~Somers opens the purse, and pulls out...~
Ice: WHAT?!?
Frost: That's a bottle of Olde English! He just dropped Punk with Punk's weapon of choice!
Ice: Oh dude... SOMEONE'S been doing their homework! But there is STILL no referee!
Frost: I don't think Somers cares right now, Jenna is not moving at all... Punk dropped her right on her head with that DDT. Somers is checking on Jenna...
Ice: Which is a HUGE mistake, he NEEDS to stay on Punk!
Frost: Well, I agree, but I understand why he's not.
~Suddenly, the fans start to murmur a bit louder~
Frost: What's going on?!?
Ice: It's Dawkins! Dawkins just came through the crowd, and he's got that bottle of OE that Somers used!
Frost: Oh no! NOT LIKE THIS!
Ice: Turn around, Steve-O!
~Dawkins taps Somers on the shoulder, and as Somers turns, SHATTERS the bottle over his head~
Frost: NO!!!
Ice: HOLY CRAP! Dawkins just evened the score!
Frost: Are you kidding me?!? He's not part of this match at all!
Ice: Oh, but Jenna, and her loaded purse are, huh? Screw you Nick, you only root for your favorites! You're NEVER FAIR!
Frost: You're DEFINITELY one to talk about fair! Regardless, Dawkins is helping Punk to his feet, Somers is COVERED in blood, and Jenna is STILL unconscious! Can we PLEASE get some help out here?
Ice: Dawk's heading back now, and look at Punk... he's got a HUGE grin on his face!
Frost: I'm sure he does! HOLD ON! Look at the ramp! That's Jared Blazer! He and Dawkins are going at it on the ramp!
Ice: But look in the ring... Punk's got the cover on Somers, and here comes the referee!
Ref: ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!
Ice: PUNK WINS!
Frost: NO NO NO!!! Somers got his shoulder up! The referee is signalling TWO!
Ice: That was a CRIMINALLY SLOW COUNT!
Frost: Punk cannot believe it, he thought he had the win there, but Somers SOMEHOW kicked at the last possible moment!
Ice: But Punk's not stupid! He's going up top! It could be time for a Full Circle Press!!!
Frost: It is! Punk just gave the sign... the double bird salute!!!
Ice: Punk leaps!!! And lands!!!
Frost: ON SOMERS KNEES!!! Somers got the knees up, and Punk is HURTING BAD!!! Somers is SLOWLY getting to this feet! He's been battered, he's been bloodied... Jenna has been assaulted... he will NOT give up!!!
Ice: You HAVE to take your hat off to Steve Somers, he's still VERY much in this one!
Frost: Somers is up... Punk to HIS feet... Punk with a right, Somers ducks it!
Ice: Somers with a boot to those weakened ribs!!! ONE NIGHT STAND!!! He's got the arms hooked, he lifts Punk up... HE HIT IT! I do NOT believe this is happening!!!
Frost: Punk was just DROPPED with Somers' patented One Night Stand! Cover! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! HE GOT HIM!!!
Ice: I don't know what you're thinking, but look at Punk's foot! It's on the bottom rope! Steve didn't hook the leg, and he just paid the price for it!
Frost: Oh, can you believe this? Will this one EVER end? Somers thought he had it, and I'm sure the last thing on his mind was hooking the leg!
Ice: Somers has Punk up again... he's going for ANOTHER One Night Stand!
Frost: Hooks the arms!!!
Ice: Wait! Punk breaks free! Double leg trip! Somersault cover!!!
Ref: ONE!!!
Frost: Wait! Punk's got his feet on the ropes!
Ref: TWO!!!
Ice: He can't get them free, Nick!
Frost: He's CHEATING, Chris!
Ref: THREE!!!
Ice: YEEEAAH!!!
Frost: What a crock!
Tiff Taylor: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, and new Franchise Champion Kid... PUNK!!!
Frost: Damn it! He had his feet BURIED in the ropes for leverage!
Ice: Oh man, what a GREAT win! Look at Somers, he is in total disbelief! Punk got him! Somers said he'd be ready for anything, but apparently, he wasn't!
Frost: That was ridiculous! And look at Punk, acting concerned about Jenna! What a piece of garbage!
Ice: Let's look at the replay! You see Punk break his arms free, and grab Somers legs! Then he goes old school with a somersault cover, and thanks to being so close to the ropes, his feet are ACCIDENTALLY caught in them! He does his best to free them, but he can't do it in those three short seconds, and just like that, Punk is your winner!
Frost: For those of us in REALITY, you saw it with your own eyes... Punk had his feet in the ropes, and he just ROBBED Somers of a victory! But now, Somers is tending to Jenna, and FINALLY, here come the EMTs!
Ice: Hopefully they'll get her good for nothing, CHEATING ass outta the ring by the time we come back!
PA: Welcome all of you...First off all. Kid Punk from Blow Chunk INC., or whatever your called, I got a little problem with your match with Steve Somers tonight. That problem is....YOU CHEATED. And if there is one thing people know about me...I do not tolerate cheating. So I am stripping you of the title, and I announce Steve Somers...the New Franchise Champion of the FWA!
Fans cheer PA: However, I will credit you with the "win" as you did put one over on the ref, and I cannot hold our less the perfect officiating againts you. Besides, I will schedule you a match againts the Franchise champ two weeks from now. You'll get your shot again. For now, I'm sure your more concerned about your precious Tag Title match you have to defend next week. So Punk...You won, but you havent won the war...now on to the real reason I'm here...This is a moment I have been waiting for...for a long time...I'd like to introduce to you...the Demise of Taylor Dawkins...
PA's music hits again, and out walks a man...
Frost: I cannot believe this! It is Hack N Pain! The crowd knows it, and is going nutts!
President Anarchy: Yes it is the real Hack N Pain. Accept no substitutes. I searched high and low, and found him.
Ice: I cannot believe my eyes! But the bastard is siding with PA?
Frost: Good! PA has shown that he is a good person, and Dawkins has shown that he is an asshole.
Ice: That couldn't have been more childish...and gay...Hack now in the ring with PA.
PA: This is the man that will slaughter Taylor Dawkins. Go ahead and tell em how your gonna kill him, Hack.
"The Brews" hits, and out walks Taylor Dawkins to a huge boos from the crowd. He wiggles his finger like "NO, NO" good old fashioned Hogan Style. He makes his way down to the ring, and slides in. He immediatley runs up to Hack N Pain...
Frost: Staredown! Staredown!
Ice: Ya mean...THERES GONNA BE A FIGHT, THERES GONNA BE A FIGHT!
Frost: Yeah, that! What in Jesus Christo!? Dawkins turns, and is punching away on our President. PA goes down! Dawk stops and looks at Hack. Dawk, steps back and lets Hack through, and Hack starts stomping away on PA. What the hell!? Security! Security!
Ice: I'm not sure who the bigger prick is, PA or Dawk and crew. Wait Hack has the mic, and Dawkins picks up PA.
Hack: This one's for Punk.
Ice: He throws the mic down. Dawkins punches PA in the head again, and HACK DOES THE BRISK DRIVER! HOLY SH...I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!
Security comes down to the ring, and Dawk and Hack beat some of the security guards up, but are eventually overwhelmed and escorted away.
Ice: Holy Rod Felter..., I cannot believe that happend. Let's get to the next match.
Ice: Now, Jones gets a chance for redemption as the referee against Jared Blazer.
“Smack My Bitch Up” by Prodigy hits over the speakers and Jones walks down the ramp in a referee’s shirt with the sleeves cut off.
Tiff Taylor: Making his way to the ring is the special guest referee…Tyreeeel Joooones!!
Frost: Tyrel looks absolutely irate tonight. This might be why we haven’t heard from him since Sunday.
Ice: Yea and a severe concussion tends to silence someone for a bit.
Frost: And you have got to look for Tyrel to be anything but impartial in this one. This one’s in the bag for Blazer.
NOFX’s “The Brews” comes on and Dawkins runs down and slides in the ring and is met immediately by Jones
Frost: These two are gonna kill each other! Dawkins and Jones exchanging punches and Blazer hasn’t even come out yet.
Blazer runs down to the ring w/o his music and slides in to help Jones beat down Dawkins.
Frost: Looks like this is just going to be a handicap match. Jones holding Dawkins arms behind his back…Blazer winding up and oh no…he decked Jones right in the face as Dawk squirmed away. And Jones didn’t seem to be phased by it.
Ice: Nope, not phased…just really goddamn pissed.
Frost: Jones decks Blazer in the face knocking him down and clotheslines Dawkins now! Both men are out and now finally Jones calls for the bell.
Ice: Well this isn’t quite a match with our only competitors on the ground…
Frost: Jones is making a fast 10 count. Both men are getting up quickly and are finally fighting each other. Durten with a knee to the midsection. He lifts Blazer up and hits an early brainbuster! He’s got him covered…one….um two?
Ice: Jones taking his jolly old time in making the count and Blazer kicks out before a loooong two.
Frost: Durten whips Blazer in the ropes but Blazer reverses. Durten off the ropes and ooh he just got tripped by the referee.
Ice: Jones enjoying every second of this.
Frost: Blazer on Durten. Blazer with a Dragon Suplex bridge…one-two…and almost a victory for Jared Blazer with that extremely quick count by Jones.
Ice: Taylor gets to his feet and does a drop toe hold on Blazer. Blazer back up to his feet.
Frost: Blazer gives a back elbow to Dawkins who was coming up behind him. He gets his head under his arm, running up the turnbuckle and hits a beautiful tornado bulldog. Cover…one-two…no, Dawkins kicked out again.
Ice: With these fast counts, I don’t see Dawkins holding up much longer against Blazer.
Frost: Blazer pulling Dawkins to his feet and whips him into the corner, Dawk straggling backwards, and Blazer lifts him up with his back to him onto the top turnbuckle. Blazer reaches up for Dawkins’ head aaaaaand Blaze of Glory! Blazer got it! Wait where’d Dawkins go?
Ice: He was convulsing so much from that neckbreaker, he fell out of the ring
Frost: Blazer going after him quickly, sliding him back into the ring. Blazer with a pin…one-two-thr-WHAT? He kicked out?! How the hell does he keep doing this?
Ice: I don’t think Blazer can believe it either.
Frost: Blazer slowly pulling Taylor to his feet and ooh…just got nailed with a low blow. Dawkins delivers a bulldog. He’s waiting for Blazer to get back up and he does finally…spins him around…Dawkinator! Will Jones count it? One…two………and…..yes! Three! I can’t believe he counted it! Dawkins wins!
Tiff Taylor: Here is your winner…Tayyyyylor Dawkins!!!
Frost: Uh oh…while Dawk is celebrating, he took his eye off Tyrel…Jones taps him on the shoulder aaaand bitchsmack.!
Ice: Oh this is gonna hurt…
Frost: Insult to Injury! Tyrel gets a little redemption from Final Destination! He talks trash to Dawkins who’s out.
Ice: And here comes the Calvary.
Frost: Dawkins’ new stable buddies run into the ring and go after Jones. Jones runs out quickly and begins backing up the entrance ramp.
“Smack My Bitch Up” by Prodigy hits.
Frost: Jones is grinning at Durten, Blood, and Punk as he walks away. Dawkins not the winner he planned on being tonight. This one isn’t over by a long shot folks.
“Sad but True” by Metallica plays and Steve TAA come begins to the ring.
Tiff Taylor: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Franchise Wrestling Association World Championship. Making his way to the ring, the challenger, weighing at 265 pounds, Steeeeeeeve the ALL Americaaaaan!!
Frost: Each man has taken one from each other, this will be the last for now of the Steve/Blood trilogy.
“Fade to Black” by Metallica hits and Cliff Blood comes out and enters the ring.
Tiff Taylor: And his opponent, weighing at 365 pounds, he is the FWA World Champion…Cliff Blooood!!
Bell rings
Frost: Blood and Steve lock up in the center of the ring. Blood with the leverage, locks on a headlock. He throws a vicious elbow to the top of Steverino’s head.
Ice: Vicious indeed.
Frost: Steve back up and Steve jumps for a running neck takedown. No! Blood caught him! What amazing strength.
Ice: Well there’s no fair catches in the XFL and there’s no fair catches in the FWA either!
Frost: What the hell?
Ice: Sorry, just wanted to see if it’s as dumb saying it as it is hearing that…I was right…
Frost: Oh geez. Blood does a modified fallway slam on Steve and goes for an early pin. One…two…no Steve kicked out cleanly. Blood pulls Steve back up. He lifts him up for a powerbomb but this time, Steve reverses with a big ddt at the top of the move. Blood goes down hard and Steve rests on one knee for a breather and he looks to the entrance ramp as if he sees something.
Ice: Don’t even tell me…oh crap that’s Durten and Ashton Steele still fighting! Can’t Steele just be a good loser?
Frost: Well they look like they’re making their way towards the ring as they slug eachother down the entrance ramp.
Ice: Sore losers…I can’t stand ‘em.
Frost: Excuse me? Remember when you bashed in my mailbox after I beat you in Crazy 8’s?
Ice: There is no proof that was me under that ski mask.
Frost: Uh I never said he had a ski mask on…
Ice: Well look at this wacky turn of events in the ring…
Frost: Thought so…Steele gets the upper hand and hits a ddt. He’s rolling Durten into the ring. Steele grabs a chair from under the ring and slides it into the ring. He puts it on top of Durten and climbs the turnbuckle. THE ANHK! 450 leg drop by the Zombie! Other referee makes the count…one…two…three…and Steele has just won the Hardcore Championship!
Ice: Why the hell are these guys still in the ring? We’ve got a title match going on!
Frost: I don’t think Steele really cares as he celebrates, holding his new belt high. Steve still on one knee and Blood is to his feet and attacks Steele from behind! Steele and the World Champ are slugging it out. Durten is getting to his feet already after that vicious leg drop!
Ice: But he’s not all there. Look at him wobbling back and forth.
Frost: Blood clotheslines the new Hardcore Champ over the ropes. And Durten…holy shit! Durten just speared Blood! Durten still disoriented from his brawl with Steele, he just went after the first thing that moved! And Durten looking down and is realizing what he just did. Steele pulls Durten’s feet out from under him and pulls him to the outside. Steve TAA runs full speed and dives on Blood! One…two…three!! Blood just got the World title ripped from him all because of his own buddy! What the hell is this going to do to the loyalty of this fresh group?
Ice: What a screwup that Durten is…who even knows if that was accidental or not. Steele wasn’t even in the ring at the time.
“Sad But True hits as Steve raises the World title over his ropes, while walking out of the arena.
Tiff Taylor: Here is your winner and NEW FWA World Champion…Steeeeve the Allll American!
Frost: Durten and Blood both back up and Durten slides into the ring to try to confront a furious and confused Cliff Blood. Durten is trying to reason with him…BAM! Blood just clocked Durten with a left hook!
Ice: He can put his sorries in his a sack as far as Blood is concerned.
Frost: What will happen to the new power stable? How will it pan out? That’s all the time we have for tonight folks. Thanks for tuning in and check us out again next week!