The Schizophrenic Suicide/Murder Mission Moony sat, talking with Prongs on a small stone bridge over a tiny creek. They conversed animatedly about whatever they could think to talk about for several hours. "So," said Prongs, "I was about to get the cat out of the dryer when the light bulb blew and I had to get out my fishing boots to go down into the basement and get a new one when I stepped on the antelope from hell candle holder in the closet and my foot started bleeding," he sighed, "then I went to find a band aid and there wasn't one so I had to hobble over to the neighbors house to ask for one. She answered the door and all of a sudden I realized that I was in my boxers, one bright yellow fishing boot in my mouth, my foot in my hand, my glasses hanging off one ear, and my hair up in my wife's rollers." Moony laughs, "So she takes one look at me and goes, 'Lily still out of town?'" There was a sudden movement of Moony's arms. Prongs stopped talking and watched as Moony shrugged it off and set back to conversation. "So she gets me a band aid and thank her and start hobbling back over to my house when I realize that the band aid is blue and will not match the fishing boots. So, I have to go back over and ask for a yellow one," They talked on for several minutes until Moony's hands twitched. He looked up at Prongs with confusion, who replied, "What the hell is wrong with you, I'm trying to tell a story here." Moony shook his head, "Not sure," all of a sudden his hands, acting with a mind of there own went for his pocket and snatched out the gun he hadn't known was there. "Remus, what the fuck?" asked Prongs as Moony brought the gun to his own head. "I can't live like this anymore," whimpered Moony, "Don't kill me, please!" he cried. Prongs stopped whining and watched in interest. "My life's just not worth it!!! Spare me, I'm too young to die!" screamed Moony in what was almost two different voices.  Prongs sat by with quite amusement. "I'm so tired of living a lie...." Moony cried, "Please, just let me live..." he pleaded "It's not worth the trouble anymore. I have so much left undone, please don't kill me." And on and on it went. Moony arguing with himself and Prongs watching silently. "There's just nothing left for me....my friends, my family, oh PLEASE, don't kill me!" "I hate my life! Please, I LOVE being alive!!!" Moony stopped arguing with himself and looked over at his friend, still holding himself at gun point. "James, I'm sorry, I just can't stay here. Please help me, James!! I'm too young to die!!" Prongs reached into his own pocket "Nothing left to live for.....so much left to live for. Oh, PLEASE!" He pulled out his own gun "It's just not worth it. Spare me, SPARE ME!" He shot Moony in the head. Moony fell silent and dead at the same time. Imagine that. "Poor bloke," Prongs muttered, "but I just had to put him out of my misery," Prongs shakes his head and sits in silence for a split second. Then he hops off the stone siding of the bridge onto the road and skips home to wife and child.