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Leave Time With Your Soldier - Some Helpful Info. Family tries to make most of 15 days together Capt. Jon Cecalupo's family is ecstatic: his son, Josh, a 2-year-old who hasn't seen him for the better part of a year, recognized his dad. The officer's wife, Jackie, saw to it that he would. In the weeks before her husband arrived at Baltimore-Washington International Airport on Oct. 23 for 15 days' rest-and-recuperation leave, she posted Polaroids her husband took of himself in Iraq near Josh's bed. Josh, who can't pronounce Iraq and calls it "Rack," blew kisses at the pictures every night as Jackie said, "That's Daddy. He's coming home." Time for family, friends as a military family who understands that making the most of leave requires planning and strategy, however, the Cecalupos could take heart in the fact that by careful management, they had maximized their short time with Jon. Initially, Jon didn't know if he should even take R&R. Fewer than half the people under his command were eligible for leave. Ultimately, however, Jon decided to come home because he hadn't had a day off in seven months - and Halloween, just about his favorite holiday, was coming up. "I called Jackie and said, 'You're going to be the tour guide.'" Jackie sprang into action, planning activities. Time alone was scheduled, as was time with Jon's parents, Jackie's parents and friends. Charlottesville, where Jon's parents live, was the R&R base although Jon and Jackie have a home near 4th ID headquarters at Fort Hood, Texas. It was closer to the Baltimore airport. And Charlottesville isn't that far from West Virginia, where Jackie's parents live. During the two weeks, the couple stayed at a bed and breakfast; went shopping; dined out; played with Josh and the new tent he got for his birthday; watched videos, including "Finding Nemo," with their son; and took the boy trick-or-treating. Josh dressed as a lion. Jon dropped by the Atlantic Coast Athletic Club gym, where his father works as a personal trainer. The elder Cecalupo started an "Adopt A Soldier" program at the club, posting pictures of the guys in his son's unit and collecting donations of sports equipment - basketballs, jump ropes, soccer balls - from members to send to the company. Now the club is doing it again, collecting Christmas presents for the soldiers. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- R&R tips Jon was bothered by friends and acquaintances who expected him to go out of his way to see them. "I didn't want to be going around and visiting a lot of people," he said. Other things were just fine: eating pizza and red meat again, and giving son Josh baths. Asked what they'd advise other families to do before and during a soldier's R&R, Jon and his wife, Jacki, came up with these do's and don'ts: * Do's 1. Before R&R, discuss through e-mail, phone and letter how to maximize the leave. "Jon told me he wanted to spend time with his family, my family and getting reacquainted with his son, and that also he wanted time with me to be together," Jackie said. 2. Spend time alone with each child and your spouse. Jackie made reservations for herself and Jon at a bed and breakfast. 3. Remember that R&R means time off for the soldier. "We're all making sacrifices, but [Jon's] sacrifice is the biggest," Jackie said. Do things the soldier wants to do. Jon wanted to shop for clothes because he lost 30 pounds in Iraq. 4. Remind the soldier he is loved and needed by the family. 5. Express to the soldier how proud you are of him. 6. Take time to discuss important family matters, such as finances, school issues and household needs. * Don'ts 7. Don't ask questions about the war. Let the soldier be the one to reveal feelings and share experiences. 8. Don't book a lot of social functions. "When you come back, you don't really want to see a whole bunch of everybody," Jon said. "You just want to see immediate family." If friends want to see the soldier, have them drop by or meet them somewhere that's easy for the soldier to get to. 9. Don't make the soldier get out of his"comfort zone." Jackie said: "Don't force them into doing things they don't feel like doing." 10. Don't assume the soldier wants to be treated like a hero. 11. Don't have specific expectations about the leave. 12. Don't spend the time you have together being anxious about the soldier's upcoming departure. By Jane McHugh Times staff writer |
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