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Cast - Cast
members - Jennifer
Aniston - Courteney
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Kudrow - Matt
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Perry - David
Schwimmer
 FHM
- Sex Bomb
Friends'
Jennifer Aniston: Handle with care
Do
you feel like your love life is under constant scrutiny?
Yes. I only have to be seen in public with a guy and the engagement
notices go in the papers. The money that people have made out of
these tabloid papers and TV shows is unbelievable. It's the
disgusting side of Hollywood. They're always making up fights
between the Friends co-stars. There was one in Star magazine that
said I was "The Queen of Mean". I was like
"Whaat!?" Then they said I wouldn't let my boyfriend do an
audition for a play because it would take away from "our time
together". It was just awful. Another story said that I'd had a
cat fight with Sandra Bullock. It was one big lie. So as a joke I
sent her flowers to make up.
Have
you ever been tempted to do a Sean Penn and punch the paparazzi?
I've considered punching them out, they're awful people and I can
certainly understand why Sean Penn would want to beat the shit out
of them. They don't understand that they're ruining your life and
they say that because you became famous you gave up your right to
privacy. I did? Where was that written?
To
redress the balance, you should check out the Holy Tabernacle of
Aniston the Divine - an Internet group whose central tenets include
'Like some plants, Jennifer does not need to eat in order to
survive, and can take sustenance from the air itself', perhaps most
puzzlingly, 'Gravity does not affect Jennifer'...
Oh my God, I'm totally blushing! Ha ha ha! I don't understand why
the laws of physics don't apply to me though, because looking at my
body they certainly do! Actually I'm into the Internet. A while ago
it was something of an addiction for me, I would be on it until like
3am. But now I surf the Net and pretend I'm someone else. I change
my name on an almost weekly basis. Sometimes I go into chat rooms
and just see what people are saying about me, and I've walked in on
plenty of conversations about myself. One person was saying, "I
think I got rear ended by Aniston."
Have
you learned anything about yourself on the Internet that you didn't
know about before?
Yeah, that I was having an affair with David Schwimmer from the
show. Someone was saying how they'd seen us kissing in a mall. I
certainly didn't know about it and I don't think he did either -
although we'd probably have enjoyed it, had it happened, ha ha ha!
But you know, I'm rumoured to be having sex with every famous man in
Hollywood; and the truth is I haven't had sex with anyone famous.
Have
you made comments about yourself on-line?
Oh yeah, when the whole thing about my new haircut happened, I was
saying thinks like, "I am so sick of hearing about Jennifer
Aniston's haircut! Let's go back to what Friends is really about -
the stories and the actors and not the haircut." It's just a
fad. It'll go away. I do more on Friends than just flop in there
with this bouncy little shag.
A
bouncy little what?
Oh my God - I've just remembered that you guys use shag to mean
screw, don't you? And the truth is, I've had no decent shags in this
business. Ha ha ha! You know, talking about the language difference,
I've just learned what 'wobbler' means and it's now my new favourite
word. So now I throw wobblers.
What
car do you drive?
I drive a 1970 280 SL Mercedes. For an antique, gorgeous car it
wasn't that expensive, although I'm not about to tell you how much!
I still have a Land Rover too, but I mostly drive the Mercedes now -
it's my new toy. It's been a fantasy car of mine for some time. I
had the Land Rover before Friends even started, as I've always liked
big trucks. Driving is such a pain in the ass that I like to feel
bigger that everybody else. You guys don't have trucks, do you? You
even have midget cars.
Size
isn't everything, Jennifer. Now, have you had any big crashes
recently?
No, nothing, I'm an excellent driver.
Really,
because I remember reading that not too long ago you crashed your
car and got away with it by signing a photograph for the woman whose
car you'd hit...
Oh yeah, but that wasn't a crash. That was just a bump and it wasn't
my fault. It was lucky I had some head shots in the car though! But
I'm an excellent driver, really. Although I'm sure that Matthew
Perry (Chandler in Friends) would beg to differ - he said I was the
worst driver in the history of drivers and that if he knows I'm
going somewhere in my car, he stays home. But he drives a black
Porsche. It's tiny. Porches are a tiny little extension of a man's
umm, male self.
Surely
your flash car is a classic example of penis envy?
My new car? My new old car? No! That's a classic car. Believe me,
there's no penis envy thing going on here. No, it's a tiny little
thing. It looks like my grandmother, if anything. It's white and
it's light and it's old and it kind of breaks down - it's a clunker,
but it's really pretty.
We
were pretty impressed at FHM to learn that Telly Savalas was your
godfather...
I was pretty impressed too. He was just the coolest guy. He'd send
me lollipops in the mail and I remember on my seventh birthday he
had a pink bicycle delivered to my door. He was one of those
unbelievably generous human beings to his entire family, and there
were a lot of them.
Did
he used to say "Who loves you baby?" to you?
Not that I can remember. But he may have done. I mean I could say he
did and make this article really cool though.
You're
Greek, aren't you? What's your family like?
The Greeks are unbelievable! Their traditions are very strong. Greek
families are like the Mafia except they're a lot friendlier. Just
recently, I went back there with my boyfriend, Tate Donovan. We
spent five glorious days in Santorini. We were just on the verge of
being there in the 'summer lovers' period but we missed it, and that
was what I'd gone for! I had all my bikinis and gauze wraps and
stuff ready to wear... and we were looking for our third lover, but
we couldn't find one because it was too cold! Then we went to Crete,
which is spectacular - that's where I lived when I was little.
What
are you like on ouzo!
Errgh! I hate ouzo! There is nothing more disgusting to me. When you
add something to ouzo, it turns white - you explain that phenomenon
to me. There's gotta be something wrong with it. I'm telling you,
Greek white wine, especially from Santorini, is so unbelievable, but
ouzo... no. But I have just started liking feta cheese for the first
time. I used to hate Greek food. Basically it's awful food.
Have you ever got off with a Greek waiter called Stavros?
No, never. And you know, I could never marry a Greek man, because I
grew up in a Greek family - oops! - maybe I shouldn't say any more.
I'll get in trouble with my family.
Oh,
go on...
Okay. Well, I think Greek men are... behind the times. Women are
still second-class citizens, pregnant in the kitchen while the men
sit around drinking ouzo and smoking cigarettes after dinner instead
of helping with anything. And Greek men are well known for being
philanderers. My dad is a Greek man and I love him with all my
heart, but... Greek men are all about big moustaches, lots of ouzo
and dancing with women who aren't necessarily their wives. And also
their moms tell them they're perfect so they think they can do no
wrong. And there's nothing worse than a man who thinks he can do no
wrong. Let's get real.
What's
your favourite swear word?
Fuck. I wish we could ad-lib 'fuck' into our TV show. I love that
word. Maybe only my character, Rachel, should be allowed to say it
though. I wish we could be like Absolutely Fabulous and swear and
talk about sex and drugs. That would be great!
When
was the last bender you went on?
I don't know when the last time I got drunk was, it was so long ago.
I went out with the girls on a big night out last night, but I
didn't get drunk. I just have fun on life. I know that sound really
sappy and Hallmark cardy, but I don't like to get drunk. I don't
like how it feels.
Did
an old agent of yours really tell you to lose weight if you wanted
to make it in Hollywood?
Uh huh. But at the time I wasn't fat, I was just Greek. I'm a Greek
woman and that figure is big tits and big ass. I hear that British
men love that old Venus figure, that's what a woman should be -
voluptuous. Maybe I should move to London. I have a hard time with
society's idea of what women should look like - stick thin. And the
terrible thing for me is that people talk about the girls on Friends
being so skinny and being such unrealistic role models, but I'm
telling you that I'm not skinny! I am thin, and certainly I used to
be a lot heavier. When I was a kid I used to eat mayonnaise
sandwiches - the most delicious thing in the world. My favourite was
tuna-mayo, but with the tuna left out. I was a fat child.
Do
you stand in front of the mirror pressing your bum to make it look
like you've got cellulite?
Oh yeah! Me and Courteney and Lisa (Kudrow, Friends' Phoebe) do it
to each other constantly - "Look at that, look at that,"
and then we make each other look at it. It's the most bizarre thing.
And
when you ask a guy if he thinks your fat, do you kill him if he says
yes?
Yes. Exactly! But I actually don't ever dare to ask the question. I
don't ask because I figure that if they don't say anything to me I'd
rather be under the illusion that I'm fine.
What's
the first thing you criticise about your body?
Oh God, that's the kind of thing you I should never tell you because
everyone will start looking for it, but I have always wished I had
longer legs. And of course all women have a problem with their hips.
Definitely, hips, hips, hips. And I've got child-bearing hips. I
will not have a problem bearing a few puppies. Giving birth will not
be a problem for Jennifer Aniston.
Do
the Friends boys get embarrassed when you girls talk about sex?
Yeah, but they love it - all boys do. We've gotten into some pretty
intense conversations about sex and it's such a kick for us because
they love hearing it, and we really go off on it sometimes just to
entertain them really.
What
habits do guys have that would have you packing your bags?
Oh, you'd have to be pretty bad for me to move out. No communication
is a bad thing that guys are guilty of. I hate men who are selfish
with their feelings - men who can't talk about the way they feel.
But I'm not demanding at all. Making me a cup of coffee is an
awesome thing to do. The first time my boyfriend brought me coffee
in bed, I almost wept - I couldn't believe it. I'd never had anyone
do that for me before.
You think
you've been seeing the wrong kind of guys. How would I woo you?
Be yourself. Be funny. And generous. I'm still very old-fashioned
and I have a problem with some of these Nineties men. I still
believe in men courting women and I still believe in dates and I
still believe in a man picking up a woman at her house and when you
want to go steady you say "will you be my girlfriend?" I
love that - I love tradition. I think it's quite romantic. I like a
guy with a sense of humour, a gentleness, someone that's comfortable
with who he is. Someone that's no bullshit, you know what I mean?
If
you were to give us one piece of sexual advice, what would it be?
I don't think guys are doing anything wrong, but I do think you're
too conscious of yourselves. Stop being aware of what you're doing
and how it's appearing, and just feel it. You're always worrying 'Is
she enjoying this?' and 'Is my thing big enough?' But who cares? Sex
is a messy enough business at the best of times. And I think it's
important to be able to laugh when you're having sex - when it's
appropriate. It can be very damaging when you laugh at the wrong
moment.
What
is you number one turn-on?
I don't have any weird secret turn-ons, if that's what you're after.
I'm pretty much run-of-the-mill sexually, which is often to people's
dismay.
Did Marcel, the Friends monkey, ever make a pass at you?
No. No. Well, actually, just once, but I said no and spoke to the
monkey trainers and had them deal with him. It was very
uncomfortable on set for a while, but we got through it. I think
they had to feed him more worms and keep him in the dark. Now if we
meet, we're both professional.
And
what about Jean Claude Van Damme who is in the new episode, The One
after the Superbowl?
No, he didn't make a pass, but he invited Courtney and I to his
trailer to have dinner. We were laughing so much afterwards. I mean,
he was nice, but I can't figure him out. You just look at someone
who's that huge a superstar and you wonder 'Why does he have that
guy with him all the time?', 'Does he really have to have everything
done for him?', 'Does he do anything for himself?', 'Does he do his
own laundry?' I'm fascinated by people like that. He didn't seem
like a real person. I don't want to be quoted as saying anything bad
about him but I think that European men like him have a weird way of
thinking about women. I don't think he sees them as equal or people
he can talk to. He thinks of them as playthings.
And
who would you have rather gone on a date with, Marcel or Jean
Claude?
Oh, definitely Mar... oh no, oh no! Neither of them! No comment! No
comment! No comment! You'll get me in trouble!
Why
was Marcel so unpopular with the Friends cast?
Well, I love the monkey... when I watch him on TV. But, boy, that
friggin' monkey could waste time on set. It could be cute, cute,
cute then it would go into Outbreak mode, and we'd all be in
trouble.
Do
the Friends cast actually have any ugly mates?
We don't think we're the greatest looking bunch of people in the
world. Admittedly we haven't been stricken by God, but look close
and you'll see we're not the best looking people. And you're talking
to someone who was not the most popular girl at school, so it's
funny to me that all of a sudden I'm being called a sex symbol. I
was definitely an ugly duckling. I look at pictures of myself in
high school and I think, how come I was allowed out of the house
looking like I did? I had a shaved head and earrings up the side,
and I wore the most unbelievable amount of make-up. I looked awful.
What
is the worst fashion faux-pas you've made?
When I was younger, I had a pair of purple and black striped pants.
Considering the weight I was at, it was unbelievable that I even
allowed myself to wear these things. It was another big mistake from
the queen of the fashion faux pax. I really am like that. And even
today I have no idea. I don't know any designers, I don't know the
materials, and still people think that I'm a fashion victim.
In
your career, you've been in your fair share of clunkers, haven't
you?
Oh yeah.
Run
me through the concept of Herman's Head...
It's a guy's head, and inside of it are all the little people who
are the brain - making decisions - and you saw them inside of his
head, but it was actually really fun. I played Herman's sister.
And
what about erm, Camp Cucamonga?
I don't recall. I really don't recall.
You
lie! What about that Celtic slasher movie, Leprechaun?
I deny that movie. I deny it was me in it. My apologies to Mark
Jones who directed it, but I deny it, I deny it, I deny it!
Tell
me something you've never told anyone before.
When I was 14, my friend and I were in Webbers (a big American
haberdashery) and we lifted some make-up, and that was pretty daring
and bad. Oh yeah, another thing is that I can't go out in the rain
because my hair gets curly, And another thing is that I have a
tattoo on my ass.
Really?
No,
I don't really, but I want to get one. I'd want it to be really
beautiful and say something, like a beautiful African symbol. It'd
certainly look better than the heart with a sword stuck through it.
Or maybe I should get my car tattooed on my ass.
Would
you have screwed Young Elvis or Cheeseburger Elvis?
Neither. I never fancied him. I had a thing for Danny Kaye. I liked
the nice boys. Bad boys are not my scene.
You
caught quite a lot of slack for a recent American Rolling Stone
photo shoot where you bared your arse, didn't you?
I even had a women stopping me in the street and saying, "Why
did you have to do that?" Well, first of all, it's none of your
business why I do something and for you to make a judgement on it is
wrong. I get so livid about it, I'll sit there in the street and
talk to a stranger about it for 45 minutes, just so there's one less
person out there who thinks badly of me. But you know what? Fuck it
and Fuck 'em, I don't care. And no, I'm not about to go and do
Playboy. The centrefold is not going to happen. But I wanna hear the
offers, so I can turn them down!
And
what do you think of your number one position in FHM's American TV
babes list?
I came first? You're kidding?! That's funny. That really makes me
laugh. That's very cool. You know, I think I really need to live in
London.
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