Guys: Hey Phoebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, gee, I wish I could, but I don't want to.

Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Stay away from my freezer.

Monica: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it.

Monica: Wee...wha...wuh...wha..wha..wuh...wuh..wu..
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now.

Rachel (to Phoebe): You're a twin?
Phoebe: Oh yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven, career type.
Chandler: What does she do?
Phoebe: She's a waitress.

Monica: Uh, No. Loosely translated, "we should do this again," means "you will NEVER see me naked."
Phoebe: Or, or, you know, "I think we should see other people," means, "Ha ha, I already am."

Phoebe: Yes! Like that man in the shoe!
Ross: What shoe?
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme: There was a crooked man, who had a crooked smile, who lived in a shoe... for a while.

Chandler: Ew, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years, it'd be talking, too.

Monica: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, I got no reason to live.
Ross: Uh, Joey.... OM-nipotent.
Joey: You are?

Rachel: Thanks, but I'm okay, really. I've got magic beans.

Chandler: So... Saturday night, the big night. Date night. Saturday night, Sa-tur-day night!
Joey: No plans, huh?
Chandler: Not a one.

Rachel: Okay, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle.

Phoebe (singing): New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... LA la, la LA la, LA la...

Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you... you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.

Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.
Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.

Phoebe: So, you guys--I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.

Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean, by my sixth date with Paolo, he had already named both my breasts! Oh, did I just share too much?
Ross: Just a smidge.

Monica: What are you guys doing here?
Joey: Uh... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
Monica: What did I ask?

Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! Or something to that effect

Monica: Don't stare. Now, she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm waving.... Ok, that is either, "how could you?" or, "enormous breasts!"

Ross: Wha... what were you doing seeing her boobies?
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.

Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. That sounds so weird when it's not followed by, "No thanks, it's late."

Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blonde chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.

Chandler:You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.

Phoebe: In the cab on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Smoked a joint. You know, lit a bone. Weed. Hemp. Ganja.
Rachel: Okay, okay. I'm with you, Cheech.

Ross: Oh! Pheebs, I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I've got Lamaze class.
Chandler: Oh, and I've got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in gym.

Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
Ross: I don't know.
Chandler: Is this still about her whole, "The Flintstones could've really happened" thing?

Rachel: So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.

Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Chandler: Um, ok, the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?

Joey: Ah, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face.

Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. Come on, Marcel! Come on! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?

Monica: Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?
Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time!

Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.

Phoebe: Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco Treat.

Chandler: I got her machine.
Joey: Her answering machine?
Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf-blower picked up.

Chandler: You don't think that makes me seem a little...
Ross: ...desperate? Needy? Pathetic?
Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.

Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.

Ross: I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one time thing. I was very drunk and it was somebody else's subconscious.

Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Monica: Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help! Come quick, they're still extinct!"

Rachel: Hey, did you guys check out those new hand dryers in the bathroom?
Ross: I thought that was just a rumour!

Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.

Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Father's Day, there's Mother's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day!
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day!

Ross: Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you!

Chandler: Men are here.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.

Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man.
Chandler: I'm still on my first. I... I just think you're nice.

Joey: That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.