Ross: Hey! So, uh, what did the insurance company say?
Chandler: Oh, they said, "uh, you don't have insurance here, so stop calling us."

Ross: One more time: Hey, don't you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?
Chandler: No, I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts.

Chandler: All right. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go get shot down. Any advice?
Monica: Be yourself. But not too much.

Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Joey: Oh, I know...
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."

Joey: Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.

Phoebe: Yeah. I'm a hard ass.
Monica: And I'm a wuss. And we should be partners.
Phoebe: Yeah. Hard Ass and Wuss. We could fight crime!

Chandler: All right, look, I just think it's time for you to settle down, ya know. Make a choice. Pick a lane.
Joey:Who's Elaine?

Joey: A TV that appears as if from nowhere! That's the dream!

Chandler: You're right. I have no excuses. I was totally over the line.
Joey: Over the line? You... you.. you're so far past the line that you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you!

Ross: You actually exchanged it.
Rachel: Well, isn't it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and I can get a lot of use out of?
Ross: What did you get?
Rachel: Credit.

Chandler: You can't tell, but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!

Joey: So you've just been sitting around here all morning?
Ross: No. I balanced my checkbook.
Chandler: Yeah, And I... I gave first names to all the foosball players.

Chandler: Really? I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Rachel: Huh. Let me tell you something. It's been a long time since I've been flung.
Joey: Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas.

Monica: I mean, I have not been picked on this much since I was in kindergarten, and they had to bring in someone from Junior High to do the see-saw with me.

Rachel: No accountants. Oh, and no one from, like, "legal." I don't like guys with boring jobs.
Chandler: Oh, and Ross was like what, a Lion Tamer?

Rachel: Chandler, you have the best taste in men!
Chandler: Well, like father, like son.

Rachel: You idiot!
Chandler: I'm sure you're right, but why?

Phoebe: It's her... It's her egg and his sperm, and I'm, I'm just the oven, it's totally their bun.

Joey: She's mad because I know today's her laundry day and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants.

Phoebe: Well, the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine.

Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon? Do you still have, like, your old blouses and dresses from high school?
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Phoebe: Well, it's just that maternity clothes are so expensive.

Rachel: Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear... the selection of underwear that we carry.

Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault. Just because you guys had a fight does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Ross: Well, if... if she thought they were on a break...

Phoebe: Aw, Phebes...
Rachel: Honey, that's your name.
Phoebe: That's short for Phoebe? I thought that's just what we called each other.

Chandler: I'm only pretend-moving to Yemen, okay? It's the only way I can get rid of her.
Joey: Oh, good one! And "Yemen," that actually sounds like a real country!

Ross: No, I'm not stopping, I'm Red Ross!
Joey: Dude, you go back out there, you're gonna be Dead Ross!

Ross: Yeah, she's got to go back to London. But you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and then that's it. Y'know?
Joey: Hey, that's what all my relationships are like.
Chandler: Yes, but in Ross's case, they both know in two weeks that's it.

Ross: Okay, okay! But if she doesn't call, it is definitely over! No, wait, wait. Unless eventually I call her, you know, just to she what's going on, and she says she'll call me back, but then she doesn't. Then it's over.
Joey: Way to be strong, man!

Rachel: I thought I was making him filet mignon.
Monica: Yeah, you were, but then you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you bitched about it, then you would stop cooking, and you would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
Rachel: Wow, I really get crabby when I cook.

Joey: Come on, man. You know I'd do it for you! Because you're my best friend.
Chandler: All right, but you can't use that again for a whole year.

Phoebe: I still cannot believe you're engaged! Just 'cause it's happening so fast, not 'cause you're such a loser.

Ross: Uh, has anyone seen Rach?
Monica: Uh, she's upstairs not doing the dishes! And I'll tell ya something, you know? I'm not doing them this time! I don't care if those dishes sit in the sink until they're all covered with... I'll do them when I get home!

Joey: Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! You're at the wedding, you have to cry. "Handkerchief?" "No no, I got my invitation."

Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that there's a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! "It's almost as good as being there."
Joey: It's better! You can't go to a museum in your underwear!
Chandler: Well, you could, but... probably just the one time.

Joey: Come on, Ross! Look, I don't have any brothers; I'm never gonna get to be a best man!
Chandler: You can be the best man when I get married.
Joey: I'm never gonna get to be a best man!

Rachel: I still don't get how you know when it's false labor.
Phoebe: Well, do you see any babies?

Rachel: Oh, honey! Don't get up! What do you need?
Phoebe: Oh, no... Oh, nothing.
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Phoebe: Okay, I have a wedgie.
Rachel: Okay, that is all you.

Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew! It's so obvious! That would be like, you know, telling Monica, "Hey, you know, you like things clean."

Chandler: Whoa! Pretty intense huh?
Joey: Yeah. Hey, I hope Ross didn't think we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Chandler: I hope he did!

Chandler: I'd like to toast Ross and Emily. Of course my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding. So this is kind of my little toast, or Melba toast, if you will.