Rachel: (laughs) Y’know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Ross: Oh, right!
Rachel: Get the hell out of there, y’know?
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? I’m coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Rachel: Well, look at that, same thing.

Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler: Well, I’ve got a girl in here.
Joey: No you don’t, I just saw you go in there with Monica!

Ross: I just, I don’t understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y’know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she’d actually show up?
Rachel: No, you’re not an idiot, Ross. You’re a guy very much in love.
Ross: Same difference.

Rachel:(Looks out the airplane window.) Hey, look at that, the airport’s moving. (Realizes that that’s not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that we’re moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh

Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.

Rachel: All right, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me.
Joey: Say that to him and you're golden. (She just glares at him.)

(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Chandler: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. (Goes over, grabs her, and kisses her.) Pheebs. (After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her.)
Joey: (Jumping out of his way not wanting to be kissed) See ya!!

Rachel: What's that? (Points to the box.)
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
Rachel: Oh, honey that's awful.
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri!

Rachel: Well, y'know what, no, you do not make my decisions because y'know what, you're fired.
Monica: You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!

Phoebe: Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?
Joey: Mine!
Ross: Wait! It was my plan.
Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
Ross: And, I came up with Atlantic City.
Joey: Which, is the new plan!

Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay…
Rachel: I am so gonna miss watching you freak people out like that

(Chandler and Monica coming rushing in late)
Ross: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Monica: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.
Chandler: That's right.
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
Rachel: You-you're not wearing a jacket.
Monica: Oh man! I did it again!

Joey: (in a sexy voice) Yep! There's always room for Jell-O…
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Joey: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad…

Frank: Chandler's a girl!
Chandler: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
Chandler: Okay, keep saying it!

Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary… Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Chandler: Really? Okay, so…
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.

Monica: (pulling on a robe) Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!

Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!

Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Monica: Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife

Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)

Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a…)
Monica: A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.

Rachel: …I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Joey: I can't believe I'm hearing this!
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldn’t have a bag, I just—it's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.

Chandler: (To Monica) Please let them win!
Monica: I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.

Ross: Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say…
Phoebe: You two will have very hairy children.
Ross: Okay, I didn't know you would say that.

Joey: All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar.
Ross: Ohh.
Phoebe: Really?! How come?
Joey: Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? It would be great if one of those was true.

Chandler: What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.

*NOTE: to understand the quote you must note that Chandler had made a bet with Ross that he would not make fun of any of the gang for a week*
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
(They all nod and comment in general approval of his pant selection)
Chandler: Oh come on!! (Storms out.)
Ross: (after he's left) Okay, seriously, what do you think?
Joey: You look like a freak.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)

Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!!

Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: I couldn't even if I wanted to!

Joey: (looking out the window) Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!(They all run over to the window.)
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
All: Yeah, it is! Naked Ross!!

Joey:(talking to Ross) Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.(points to Chandler)

Joey: (shyly) She keeps punching me.(They all laugh.)
Monica: In that cute, little, sweet way she just did?
Joey: Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? (Quietly) She-she-she's hurting me.
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Rachel: Aww, Joey, come here. (She takes his hand.) Look honey, I know this must be really, really difficult for you and I--Oh, I'm sorry. Am I hurting you?

Phoebe: Hey! I brought you some house warming gifts.
Ross: Aww Thanks Pheebs.
Phoebe: Yeah. Salt, so your life always has flavor; Bread, so you never go hungry and a scented candle for the bathroom, because well, y'know.

Phoebe: Oh my God, this is a police badge!(She just found it in the Central Perk couch)
Monica: Wow!
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that