Ross: Look, uh, if we're gonna do this...
Rachel: We're not gonna do this, all right? She's just gonna think that we're doing it.
Ross: Oh, I see, so everybody wins.

Rachel: What happened at dinner?
Monica: My parents spent the money for our wedding!
Phoebe: My God! What did you order?

Rachel: You know, Joey, I could teach you to sail, if you want.
Joey: You could?
Rachel: Yeah! I've been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat.
Phoebe: Your own boat?
Rachel: What? What? He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.

Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the... the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!
Monica: No! Why didn't you make a copy and... and keep it in a fireproof box, and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?
Phoebe: Because I'm normal!

Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Monica [Answering phone]: Hello? I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. [Whispering:] Okay, I'll call you later, Dad. I love you.

Rachel: No! No! No! I'm not yelling at you, I'm just yelling near you. Oh God, Joey! Oh, I'm my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! I've been trying so hard not to be my mother, I did not see this coming.

Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says very much about you?
Phoebe: What? You mean behind my back?

Chandler: You wanna tell secrets? Okay, okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Chandler: Ross came in forth and cried!

Monica: What's the matter?
Chandler: Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!
Phoebe: Oh, Willy's still alive!

Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb States game.
Ross: Wow, how many have you got?
Joey: Fifty-six!

Ross (as the Holiday Armadillo): Merry Christmas. Oh, and Happy Hanukkah!
Ben: Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I’m part Jewish!
Ross: Huh? You are? Me too!
Monica: Because armidillos also wandered in the desert?

Joey: All right, I should get going. Big day at work. You know I'm in a coma? Today they do this test on me, and it turns out I'm not brain dead.
Chandler: So....
Joey: Uh uh uh uh uh, Mr. Smartypants. It's just my character that's not brain dead!

Ross: Ow! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when... Oh! A quarter!

Ross: Hey, thirty is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
Rachel: Late thirties?

Joey: You're not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!
Everyone: Oh!
Chandler: That's great!
Joey: And... and not only that, I'm gettin' a new brain!
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!

Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh!
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here.
Phoebe: Okay, then I must be disoriented.

Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Chandler: That's the perfect amount!

Chandler: Hi, honey! I'm home!
Monica: Don't come in here!
Chandler: Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something?
Monica: No! We only mess around at his place!
Chandler: You know, it's funny. I started it, but now it's scaring me. So could you come out here please?

Ross: Um, I, uh... I'm your teacher. I'm sorry, you're... you're a student, and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.

Chandler: Ross is Batman!
Monica: Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.

Ross: You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Rachel: Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.

Monica: I'm getting married today! I think I just cracked a rib. But I don't care, because today's my wedding day! My day is finally here!
Phoebe: You know, she might not even notice he's gone.

Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: No.
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!

Ross: Huh, this is nice.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.