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Mum, that infamous mushroom criminal, produced this heretical response to FAF propaganda (be warned, the sentiments expressed below are highly dangerous and could cause serious damage to unprotected tastebuds):
I find it most enjoyable when working at my hob
To make a tasty mushroom dish and stuff it in my gob.
I find it very hard indeed that you don’t understand us,
When we applaud the great delights of very tasty fungus.
Perhaps a quiche, perhaps a stew, what shall I cook today:
There’s endless possibilities for mushrooms in this way.
With button, field and oyster too, not forgetting dear shitake,
A veritable feast, I think, and I’m not being sarkie.
Another pastime I enjoy is walking in the dawn,
Searching for mushrooms in the grass for making into quorn.
I’m glad that I like mushrooms, I cannot help but boast.
I’m dreaming of my breakfast now – mushrooms fried on toast.
As part of the FAF effort to combat all such blatant pro-mushroomry, we follow this poetic blasphemy with an excerpt from the majestic Malevolent Mushroom:
Luminous grotesque
Pale noxious beast
Dank unnatural ghost
Calamitous feast.
Too many have fallen
Under his thrall:
Persevere in faith
Fungi-haters all!
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All material ©Friends Against Fungi, 2004.