If you have any MONICA quotes you would like to see on this page, EMAIL them to me, and I will put them up! Thanks!

Oh good, Lenny and Squiggy are here.

Let's try that again, shall we?

Ow! Let go! I'm a tiny woman!

Ok, all right. I think you're great, I think you're sweet, and you're smart....and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.

Fine, judge ALL you want to, but... (Ross) Married a lesbian, (Rachel) Left a man at the altar, (Phoebe) Fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (Joey) Threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, (Chandler) Living in a box!

I mean, I have not been picked on this much since I was in kidergarten, and they had to bring someone in from Junior High to do the see-saw with me.

I really would like to say that I'm...um.. (pause) Y'know what I'd really like to say? I'm drunk!! That's right mom and dad, your little Harmonica is hammered! And guess what! I've been drunk before! And I've smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawers! It's all okay. It's okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown-up! (passes out)

(on the phone) Aunt Syl. Stop yelling. All I'm saying is if you would've told me vegetarian lasagnas, I would have made vegetarian lasagnas. Well, the meat's only every third layer. Maybe you can scrape. Aunt Syl....I did this as a favor. I'm not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas. Nice talk, Aunt Syl. You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?

Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?

(on the phone) Pants and a sweater, why? Mom, who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power Company guys? Eligible looters?

I know this is going to sound unbelieveably selfish on my part, but were you planning on bringing up your lesbian baby thing? Cause' it sure might take some of the heat off me.

There's nothing to tell. He's just some guy I work with.

Mom already called me this morning. Just to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?

I KNOW!!

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