"I'm
Stupid" or "Duh" Signs
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a
guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
"Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you
to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite
you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose
it."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was
a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you
moving?"
"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many
boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat
into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the
dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope - we talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house
and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house and he
gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says,
"Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have
stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. I did misjudge the
height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how
I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the
report. He went through his basic questioning... ok... no problem. I thought
sure he was clear of needing a sign... until he asked, "So... is your
truck stuck?" I couldn’t help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the
rig and then back to him and said "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's
your sign."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck,
looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.
Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right
up on me. Here's your sign."