July 14th, 2000 - From the FWF Arena in Stevens Point, WI
Proudly presented by SpongeBob CD Productions

After a brief introduction from FWF Commentators Bubbles and Hoppy, FWF's No Escape is off and running, promising the revival of the Hardcore Championship, a brutal Cardboard Box Match for the Intercontinental Title, and a match for the FWF Championship where it will be hung high above the ring in a ladder match!

Eddie McPhereson kicks off the pay per view by getting the crowd excited with his ring entrance, and vows to win the Hardcore Title, and make the Hardcore division less "bad". Indeed, by order of Commissioner Ca$h and Mike Hawke, Lazaro Gonzalez has been stripped of the Hardcore Championship for his mysterious disappearance. As a result, the now vacant title will be placed up for grabs in a match between Eddie and whoever steps up to challenge him. Cracker, who already has a match scheduled against Batman later in the evening, dances his way out to the ring and accepts the challenge.

FWF Hardcore Championship
Eddie McPhereson vs. Cracker
Eddie starts off the match by stealing Cracker's hat, which has proven to be a no-no for his opponents. Cracker chases him down and beats him with his noodle. Eddie tries to counter with some slaps to the back, but Cracker comes off the ropes with a spear, and then begins beating Eddie mercilessly with the Barbie house for a two count. Eddie gets up and hits the Praying Mantis, followed by a faceplant, and then goes for the bearhug, which fails to get the submission. Eddie, in his trademark style, then tries hitting Cracker with a flower, but the ineffective weapon does nothing, and Eddie is taken down for another two count. Cracker continues the beatdown, but leaves himself open for a vicious McPhereson DDT for a near pinfall. As Eddie gets up though, Cracker is able to rake the eyes and twist Eddie's mask around. Eddie, now blinded, mistakes the referee for Cracker and hits the Humpty Hump Love Pump. Eddie pins the referee, and Cracker counts the pinfall, but when Eddie gets up to celebrate, Cracker rolls up the confused McPhereson for the actual three count, and the Hardcore Title! (3:15)

Pirahna vs. No Limit Soldier
Pirahna wastes no time in attacking Soldier during his entrance and hitting him with a clothesline for a two count. The Soldier gets back up and tries to get some offense in on the larger Pirahna, but Pirahna counters quickly and hits a DDT for another two count. Pirahna then continues the attack with a bulldog and a back body drop for another near fall. Pirahna tries going to the well once more, but Soldier counters the back drop attempt and finally goes on the offensive, taking Pirahna down and assaulting him with repeated punches, but when Soldier gets up, Pirahna quickly trips him and locks on a full nelson, then switches to hit his trademark German Suplex for another two. Pirahna picks up No Limit and whips him into the ropes for another back drop attempt, but when Soldier evades it, Pirahna adjusts and hits his patented chop block, then locks on the Side Mexican Surfboard for a submission attempt. When that doesn't work, Pirahna picks him up for a sidewalk slam and another near fall. Pirahna then goes for another clothesline, but when Soldier ducks they come back and collide in a vicious looking double clothesline. Pirahna manages to make it back up first, and goes for another pinfall attempt. As soon as he kicks out though, No Limit punches Pirahna in the mouth and hits a quick running leg drop. But when Soldier goes off the ropes again, Pirahna is able to catch him for a painful double backbreaker, and another two count. Soldier attempts another comeback, with some punches and a spear, but again Pirahna manages to counter and hits his Implant DDT finishing maneuver. When he goes for the pinfall though, the Soldier still kicks out! Enraged, Pirahna grabs a steel chair and begins beating Soldier with it to earn himself a disqualification. (7:24)

FWF Hardcore Championship
Batman vs. Cracker(c)
Based upon the results earlier in the pay per view, this previously scheduled match has now officially been made for the Hardcore Championship. Batman, still pursuing the first offensive move of his career, attempts an incredibly slow punch to start the match, but he misses completely, and Cracker beats him down to the ground, then hits a leg drop and begins beating him with a chair. Cracker continues to punch and kick Batman, then DDTs him, but Batman somehow manages to kick out of the pinfall, a first in his career. Cracker continues on the offense, and Batman begins to cry. Cracker then leads the emotional Dark Knight up to the stage, and locks on the Cracker Jacker near the pool area for the win by submission. (2:39) After the match, Batman gets back up and makes the oft-made mistake of stealing Cracker's hat, which earns him a trip into the swimming pool. As Cracker celebrates and laughs at Batman's misfortune, Jo-Jo attacks Cracker from behind, leading to the next match!

FWF Hardcore Championship
Jo-Jo the Indian Circus Boy vs. Cracker(c)
The two brawl back down the ramp and into the ring, with Cracker getting the upper hand, punching Jo-Jo and beating him with a shoe, then attempting to hit Jo-Jo with a bat. Jo-Jo moves out of the way of that strike, and attempts to get some more space between himself and Cracker, but ends up facing the wrath of a Cracker bulldog. Taking advantage of the rules, Cracker then beats Jo-Jo with a microphone and gets a two count. Cracker continues to beat down Jo-Jo, and this time he can't kick out as Cracker continues his dominant reign. (1:35) Cracker can hardly celebrate though, as Hardcore Beary's music hits immediately following the match, and Cracker is forced to defend under 24/7 rules once more.

FWF Hardcore Championship
Hardcore Beary vs. Cracker(c)
The tired Cracker starts off the match by locking on a headlock and taking Beary down to the ground for an elbow drop. As soon as this happens, Sexy Bear runs in, turning this match into a triple threat!

FWF Hardcore Championship
Hardcore Beary vs. Sexy Bear vs. Cracker(c)
Even though the match with Hardcore Beary was not yet over, Sexy Bear enters the fray, jumping off of the set to hit Cracker with a cross body block for a two count. Cracker pushes him off though, and hits a chokeslam and an elbow drop. He jumps on Sexy for the pinfall, while Beary jumps on top of him, but the two can only get a two count. Beary then punches Cracker in the stomach, only to get pushed away, but then Sexy jumps on top of Cracker and gets another near fall. Cracker continues the attack on Sexy, throwing him around, but only gets another two count. Obviously frustrated and tired of having to defend his title, Cracker goes for the steel chair, and hits Sexy with a brutal shot, but again can only get a two count. Cracker then hits one more chokeslam, and follows it up with the Cracker Jacker, followed by a pinfall to defend his title once more. (2:15) Cracker, thinking he is done defending the title, finally begins to celebrate, but no more than 10 seconds later, Eddie McPhereson's music hits, and the anti-hardcore crusader enters. Since there is no rule against challenging for the Hardcore Title more than once a day, the next match is set!

FWF Hardcore Championship
Eddie McPhereson vs. Cracker(c)
Cracker attacks Eddie as he hugs the announcers, but Eddie is able to push the fatigued Cracker off and lock in the Humpty Hump Love Pump to gain the submission victory over a battle weakened Cracker. (0:14) Eddie McPhereson, the world's least hardcore wrestler, is now the FWF Hardcore Champion and hugs everyone at ringside to celebrate.

In a break from the nonstop hardcore action, cameras took us backstage at No Escape as Ted McDougal arrived at the arena for his scheduled title defense in a Ladder Match against The Ice. As he arrived though, Ted was informed that neither The Ice, nor Mr. Hawke, who was scheduled to be the special guest referee for the main event, had arrived at the building yet, leaving the main event in doubt. Ted made it clear that he had won the title without Hawke, and he could defend it without him as well, then emphasized that this would be Ice's last opportunity for the title, so he'd better make the best of it.

FWF Intercontinental Championship
Cardboard Box Match
Mr. Skeets and the Revenge of the Chicken Run Blast-o-Rama vs. Nate Palm(c)
As the two wrestlers made their way to the ring to do battle for the Intercontinental Championship, the announcer made clear the rules for the first-ever Cardboard Box Match: the match is held with no holds barred, and the first man to seal their opponent into a cardboard box and seal it shut would be the winner. Palm sprinted down the ramp with a baseball bat in hand and beat down Skeets with it, then hit an inverted backbreaker. Palm continued the beatdown with a variety of weapons at ringside, and went for the box. It was two soon though, as Skeets began the beatdown, and immediately tried to push Palm into the box he brought out. Palm countered with his Molotov Cocktail into the box. He tried to seal the box, but Skeets was able to make his way out, and began beating Palm with a parking cone and a baseball bat. Palm countered with a low blow, and began assaulting Skeets with a hockey stick. Skeets countered with a noodle shot, and began using a cookie sheet, but Palm got hold of it, and used the sheet on Skeets. Palm brought back the bat, and followed those shots with an uranage slam. Palm then grabbed one of the ladders at ringside for the main event, then hit the Molotov Cocktail once more, and came off the ladder with a guillotine leg drop! Instead of going for the win, the sadistic Palm pulled Skeets up once again and hit a facebuster, then threw Skeets into the ladder. When Palm went for a ladder though, Skeets was able to compose himself and get some shots into Palm with a boombox. Palm once again countered and began beating Skeets again with the hockey stick. Palm once again went for the box, but Skeets got up and Palm decided to instead hit a bulldog headlock. He then set up a makeshift platform with a box on top of two chairs, and suplexed Skeets right through it! Palm again went for the box though, and Skeets showed his trademark resilience by assaulting Palm and hitting a DDT. He then takes advantage of the time he bought himself and set up the ladder and placed one of the boxes next to it. Skeets shoved Palm down on top of the box and began to climb, but Palm got up, climbed the other side of the ladder, and threw Skeets off the top of the ladder into the box! Unfortunately for Palm, the fall destroyed the box, making it unable to close, and he had to pull Skeets out and continue the match. Palm beat him with the fan again, then chokeslammed Skeets on top of the destroyed box. Taking a little bit of time to taunt, Palm got distracted and took a low blow from Skeets, who then climbed the ladder and went for a flying elbow drop, but Palm rolled out of the way and continued the assault. Skeets however was experiencing something of an adrenaline rush and got back up to beat Palm with the hockey stick, then climbed up the ladder with the boombox and delivered a flying blow with it to Palm's head. Skeets then set up another box and went back on the attack with a parking cone. Skeets then dragged Palm back to the boxes and put him halfway in, then began a climb to the top of the No Escape set! The daredevil Skeets jumped off, only for Palm to move out of the way and Skeets crashed and burned on top of the box. The two groggily got to their feet, and Palm was able to hit the Molotov Cocktail into the box once more. Palm then for no reason apparent grabbed the referee and delivered the Molotov Cocktail to him into the box and on Mr. Skeets. Palm then grabbed Skeets, and pulled him back to the ring. Palm went for a gutwrench suplex, but Skeets was able to counter, and threw the ladder onto Palm's head and stomped it into his body. Palm was able to get up and the two continued brawling, but Skeets was still able to keep the upper hand, throwing Palm down. He then set up a box against the corner, and tried to whip Palm into it, but it was countered and Skeets ended up flying into the box. Palm then grabbed Skeets and took him up onto the ramp, then grabbed two boxes, but Skeets had grabbed a bat and beganto beat Palm with it. The two then went back near the poolside area. Palm got the upper hand again, set up a box, and then delivered the Molotov Cocktail from the top of the set through a box! These two have destroyed so many boxes, the question comes up if there even are any more left. Palm grabs a 2x4 and continues the beatdown. Palm then sets up another box and repeats the Molotov Cocktail off the set through the box. Skeets might have attempted a reversal though, as both men seemed to take as much punishment as the other, and Skeets attempted another comeback, choking Palm near the pool. Skeets then hit repeated low blows, and gave Palm a taste of his own medicine with a DDT through the box. Skeets then hit Palm with repeated blows with the box, used the mangled box to hit Palm with, set it up, then slammed him through it! Skeets continued to punish Palm, even using a wooden duck found near the pool! Skeets brought out more boxes and continued the beatdown. Skeets put a box over Palm's head, which doesn't constitute a win, and continued to beat him, then hit a funning clothesline. Palm finally put a stop to the beatdown, and ran back to ringside. Skeets followed, but fell victim to an inverted backbreaker. They then grabbed weapons and went back to poolside and continued fighting. Palm then threw down Skeets and hit him with continued blows from a door. Palm then grabbed Skeets back up and threw him off the stage, then grabbed a box and set up for the win. But when he reached down to pull Skeets back up, Skeets reached up and locked in Cornelius Bob! In one quick move, Skeets moved his hand down into the goozle and hit a chokeslam into the box for the win! (23:29) After the match, a dejected Palm got out of the box and threw Skeets into the pool, then hit the moist Skeets with a steel chair. Nonetheless, the match is over and Mr. Skeets is the new Intercontinental Champion.

After that brutal match, cameras take us backstage, as we see new Hardcore Champion Eddie McPhereson leaving the arena. Before he can get to his car though, the No Limit Soldier, fresh off of a DQ win over Pirahna, runs out and attacks Eddie! The next match is on!

FWF Hardcore Championship
No Limit Soldier vs. Eddie McPhereson(c)
Soldier takes down Eddie and hits a few punches, then tries for the quick pin but only gets a two count. Eddie throws Po in Soldier's face and runs away, but former champion Cracker runs in, joins the match, and for the second time today, an impromptu singles match becomes a triple threat!

FWF Hardcore Championship
No Limit Soldier vs. Cracker vs. Eddie McPhereson(c)
Cracker attacks eddie, but gets put in the Humpty Hump Love Pump right away! Cracker reached back and elbowed Eddie, getting out of the hold, then threw Eddie to the mat. Meanwhile, No Limit Soldier had set up the ladder and began to climb. Cracker ran over, and attempted to throw Soldier onto Eddie, but Eddie moved. Cracker laughed, because either way he hurt one of his opponents, but Eddie then ran up and delivered a massive gutwrench suplex. The Soldier got up and pushed Eddie on top of Cracker, and then the two beat down eddie with hockey sticks. Cracker then climbed the ladder, and hit a splash, but when Soldier tried to do the same, Cracker pushed the ladder over, then climbed on top of Eddie for the pin and regained his Hardcore Championship! (2:00)No Limit Soldier got back up and went after Cracker, but Cracker was able to get up, sprint down the ramp, and out the arena with the title that he originally won at the onset of the pay per view.

As we head back into the FWF Arena, The Ice's music hits, but after it becomes apparent that he is not coming, Ted McDougal makes his way out to the ring to defend his championship in the scheduled main event. Before anything else can happen though, Commissioner Ca$h makes her way out to the ring, and informs the crowd that neither The Ice nor Mike Hawke is at the arena. So since the match is first without an official, she appoints herself special guest referee. Ca$h then tells McDougal that he will still defend the title in a ladder match for tonight's main event, and introduces him to the new number one contender: Pirahna!

FWF World Heavyweight Wrestling Championship
Ladder Match
Pirahna vs. Ted McDougal(c)
McDougal starts the match off early by hitting Pirahna with a bulldog, then begins punching him in the face. Pirahna tries to get up, but McDougal responds with a running knee to the stomach. Ted then locks on a spinning toe hold, but Pirahna hammers the knee of McDougal, then takes him down. Pirahna whips Ted into the ropes and hits his clothesline. Pirahna then begins choking McDougal, which Ca$h seems to have no problem with. Pirahna then whips Ted into the corner, and hits a shoulder block, but Pirahna makes the first move for the ladder, and Ted comes back with a shot to the head with the fan, followed by a DDT. When Ted goes back for Pirahna though, he recieves a shot to the gut, as Pirahna then whips him off the ropes and hits a flapjack. Pirahna then takes advantage of the lack of rules, and kicks Ted right in the testicles. He then repeatedly slams Ted's head into the mat and goes to get a weapon, but when he returns Ted smashes his bottle of water into Pirahna's face. Ted then picks up Pirahna and hits a spinning slam variation, and follows that up with a shot from the Tahitian Floating Lounge. Ted then goes for the ladder, but Pirahna is not weakened enough, and responds with a shot to the stomach, an irish whip to the ropes, and hits a monster spinebuster on McDougal. In an amazing display of tenacity though, Ted rolls away and gets a parking cone, which he places on Pirahna's head and then beats repeatedly. Ted then ran backstage and returned with a showshovel, but by the time he got back Pirahna was waiting, avoided the shovel shot, and hit a bulldog on McDougal. Pirahna then set up the ladder and began his climb, but Ted made it in time and pushed the ladder over, sending Pirahna careening to the ground. Ted then threw Pirahna out of the ring, and the two made their way up onto the entry ramp where Ted found the Barbie house and used it to his advantage. Ted then brought back an even bigger ladder, climbed it with the Barbie house, and leaped off slamming it into Pirahna's face. But when Ted picked up Pirahna and tried to whip him into the ladder, Pirahna was able to reverse it and send Ted into the ladder. When Ted got up, Pirahna was waiting from on the ladder and hit him with a flying shoulder block. He then beat Ted with the Tahitian Floating Lounge once more, then hit a DDT. Pirahna took advantage of this to grab the ladder again and climb it, but Ted got up and threw Pirahna to the mat. Ted then climbed the ladder and hit a flying splash onto Pirahna. Ted then moved the ladder to the belt and tried to grab it, but Pirahna got there in time and hit Ted with a hockey stick, knocking him off. With McDougal down, Pirahna placed the Tahitian Floating Lounge across two chairs and brought Ted to it. Pirahna climbed the ladder, possibly looking to use a crossbody to put Ted through the Lounge, but Ted instead sent Pirahna straight through it, then beat Pirahna with a chair. Ted tried setting up another makeshift platform, but just like Ted had done to him, Pirahna put McDougal through his own platform. Pirahna then put the ladder over his head and spun it right into McDougal's skull. Pirahna placed the chair on the top of Ted's skull and looked to dive off the ladder with an elbow, but Ted moved, and Pirahna went right into the chair. Ted went for a hockey stick shot, but Pirahna was able to duck that and counter with a kick to McDougal's nether-regions. Pirahna then began choking Ted with the hockey stick, then planted his face into the already set up chair. McDougal grabbed the stick and hit pirahna with it, then planted his face into the chair. When Ted tried to hit him again with the stick though, Pirahna ducked it and hit Ted with the Tahitian Floating Lounge again, then set it up on the chairs. McDougal got control again, and went for the same crossbody through the platform that Pirahna tried, but he also missed and crashed through the platform. Pirahna again began beating Ted with the lounge and stick, including a particularily painful looking shot to the gonads. Pirahna then placed the ladder on top of the vulnerable Ted, got a running start, and used two chairs to springboard off of and attempt a splash, which unfortunately for him, Ted moved out of the way of, leaving nothing but the ladder for Pirahna to land on. McDougal then folded up a chair and put it on the ground, and proceded to hit Pirahna with a front Russian Leg Sweep faceplant onto the chair. Ted then picked up Pirahna and went for a running bulldog onto the same chair, but Pirahna didn't comply and sent Ted diving onto the chair instead. Pirahna then placed Ted's head onto the chair with the ladder on top, got a running start, but Ted was able to move out of the way of the splash, and then used the chair on the vulnerable Pirahna. Ted then picked up Pirahna and hit him with his Bagpipes finisher. Feeling he had finally subdued Pirahna, Ted set up the ladder and began climbing for the belt. He had the championship in his hands, but a split second before he would have won the match, Commissioner Ca$h finally made her presence felt and shoved Ted off the ladder. She then rushed over, picked Pirahna up, and helped him get up the ladder to grab the championship and cheat Ted out of his belt! (20:39) When Ted went after Ca$h after the match, Pirahna ran up from behind and locked in the Waterfall. Then to add insult to injury, Pirahna held Ted so Ca$h could slap him, and exited the ring. Meanwhile, Ca$h stood over McDougal, taunting the former champion. She stood a little too long though, as Ted grabbed her by the hair, got up, whipped her into the ropes, and hit the Commissioner with a vicious spear. Ted then looked like he was going to hit Ca$h with the Bagpipes onto a steel chair, but Pirahna ran back in, and Ted did it to him instead! He then hit the Bagpipes on Ca$h as well. As No Escape went off the air, Ted had laid out his two enemies, but still left the arena without his FWF Championship.

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