At that moment the door opened and Lt. Harry Kim entered. "Hey, no fair! Doesn't your Uncle Harry get any of those hugs and kisses?" Honor giggled happily and flung herself from her father to her honorary uncle with a flourish. Harry rose with his darling "neice" in his arms, patting his best friend and captain on the arm. "Morning, Tom. Mind if I steal your daughter for a little while?" Tom smiled widely back at his friend and replied: "Just as long as you bring her back with her instrument this time. I still haven't gotten the private performance my daughter's been promising me." Honor rolled her eyes in childish exasperation. "Oh, Daddy! I'm not ready for a performance yet. How many times do I have to tell you..." Tom held up his hands, "I know, I know..." And then the two men intoned together: "Practice, Practice, Practice", laughing at their own private joke, much to the confusion of little Ms. Paris. Tom ruffled his daughter's curls, "You two have fun."
Harry and Honor left and Tom turned to finish his log report, stopping when he saw the picture of Seska and Honor that his daughter had placed on the coffee table before she left. The picture was the only one that existed of mother and child that Tom knew of, which was to be expected considering the nature of Honor's conception and birth aboard a Kazon ship. To this day he had still not figured out why Seska had made it for him. She had planned on the Nistrom making off with the ship, hadn't she? She certainly hadn't seemed to be planning to cross paths with him again when she and Cullah had left the crew for as good as dead on that barren planet. And yet the recording had been for him, according to the message she'd left (the message he'd deleted in order to give the picture to Honor without giving her the details of how and when it was created). What had she been thinking? She couldn't possibly have been planning on his retaking the ship, could she? But then why else would she have left a message for him in his quarters? On the average an almost overly confident man, the captain was certain of nothing whereas Seska was concerned. Never had he been more mystified by a woman. Or more blind. Tom picked up the vidframe, a myriad of emotions flitting through his trademark blue Paris eyes, carrying the picture with him to his desk.
He reactivated the log.
"Now, where was I? Oh, yes, what would I do without Tuvok's aid in teaching my inquisitive young daughter. Particularly, considering her trouble with pronunciations. A single father can use all the help he can get, I suppose. Especially in these most...unusual of circumstances. [Glances at the vidframe, then picks it up to turn towards the recorder before setting it down once again.] Honor was just asking me some more questions about her Mommy. All the rummaging you heard in the background just now was her searching for the picture Seska left of her and Honor in my quarters when the Nistrom took hold of Voyager. [sighs] Why can't anything be simple around here? Easy? Or at least moderately comprehensible - is that too much to ask? It's not enough that I can't captain a ship without getting her stranded 70-some-odd-lightyears away from Earth, but apparently I can't even raise a family in a normal point-A-to-point-B sort of way. Why can't I just tell Honor all the things she needs to hear? Something pleasant about her mother; something pleasant about the relationship between her mother and me - if you can call it that. How can I help her to understand Seska when I don't think I ever really understood her! Or ever will, for that matter. Atleast I could be honest in telling her of her mother's determination - she was a very determined woman. Cardassians, in general, are a very determined people. But Honor needn't know the cruel forms that determination can take - at least not yet. I've been trying to teach my daughter what I can of her heritage - to instill a sense of identity and pride in her culture. But I've also been trying to protect her from the harsh facts of that heritage.
You know, I've wondered many times since we came to the Delta Quadrant about the "what ifs" of the past. What if Janeway hadn't turned down the captaincy of this ship; what if I had. What if I'd never destroyed that array, Prime Directive be damned. What if Seska'd kept her eyes on Chakotay, or at least off of me...all thing's considered, however, how could I have things any other way? I have a wonderful daughter who I would do anything for (and woe be to me that she knows it). I have found good friends on this trip, a good crew, ...and of course I've found B'Elanna. [Swivels around in his chair a moment, head reclined in thought, then laughs, turning back to the recorder.] What a fitting day for reflection on the women in my life - that truly was the touchiest area in mine and Chakotay's relationship. Seska...[his face grows momentarily solemn at that thought] and then I dare strike up a friendship with his proverbial kid sister, our very own, beloved Chief of Engineering. I didn't think I'd ever get his approval when it became apparent to both me and 'Lanna that a 'friendship' wasn't all of what we wanted together. The funny thing is how much I needed that approval. Despite our backgrounds and the incident with Seska, Chakotay was one of my closer friends aboard this ship and I valued his opinions. And, damned if he didn't play the fatherly role with B'Elanna so well that I actually felt compelled to ask "dear old Dad" before making any moves in her direction. It was a bit discomforting - I have to admit - his initial reluctance to the relationship. It surprised me. I always knew his feelings for B'Elanna so I realized he'd be protective over her, but it hadn't occurred to me that he would feel the need to protect her from me particularly. My thoughts were "I'm not really that bad a guy, amI?", although I suppose my reputation from the time of my service as first officer of the Excavier [winces] preceded me.
I'm glad Chakotay came to accept, even condone my relationship with B'Elanna. Now, I only wish he could have been present when we announced our engagement. It would have meant a lot to both me an 'Lanna. We've come a long way, the two of us. With the pains of our mutually less-than-ideal pasts, and our one-time differing loyalties: I to Starfleet, and she to the Maquis. I guess our coming together was another unexpectedly pleasant development of this little voyage through the Delta - Who would have guessed - the Starship Captain and the Maquis Engineer? Although, personally, I tend to think we have a lot more in common than not. We both had rather difficult childhoods, in one way or another. I understand what she went through - being an outcast because of her mixed parentage. Although more often than not the people I'd encountered throughout my childhood tended to suck up to the heir of the legendary Paris lineage, there were more than a few setbacks to being known as "that rich admiral's kid". And she understands what I went through during the Federation/Romulan Alliance...or atleast she's tried to. And more than anyone else on this ship, she can relate to Honor. She knows what my daughter faces in the future, being half-human and half-Cardassian. Children with mixed heritage, as hard as it is to believe in our seemingly advanced and civilized culture, aren't accepted well to begin with. And whatever the outcome of the war that raged when we left the Alpha Quadrant I doubt her being Cardassian will win her any favors when we get home. Not even by being a half-Cardassian with the name Paris. And, gods, why would she want those kind of favors anyhow. I, for one, know the hollow victory that the 'benefits' of the Paris name brings. It makes me so damned mad for both of them! How can anyone in this universe not see the beauty in both of them? I would just as soon see Honor deny her Cardassian heritage, as I would have 'Lanna deny the part of herself that is Klingon. Those sides of them make them the wonderful women that they are and it astounds me that anyone could think any differently. Luckily, the fact that some small-minded people do sometimes see differently is not one that Honor will yet have to face, at least not on this ship. Bias has no place on Voyager; we're a family, and this family takes care of its own. Although, I have heard whispers here and there, by certain crewmen who shall remain nameless here and elsewhere, about the dangers of putting two such - 'volatile' is the word I believe they used - people together as B'Elanna and myself. [Smiles] But, of course, being the understanding Captain that I am, I turned a deaf ear."