October 26th

“May Bracegirdle told her cousin who’s friends with my sister’s boyfriend. So ya know it’s true. Practically came from the pony’s mouth.”

Dibble Culver had to yell over the noise of the grist wheel. He was talking with Ted Sandyman the next day as they worked together at the Bywater mill. News of the Doctor’s date with the blacksmith had traveled quickly.

Ted was stacking sacks of milled barley against the dusty wall as Dibble loaded wheat kernels into the grindstone’s hopper. “So, the doc’s dating again, eh? Great! Glad she’s come to her senses and has dropped that bloody Baggins. But datin’ the blacksmith? Now what in the world would a lass of quality see in a no-name newcomer?”

“Well, he’s got a nice business and is right good-lookin’…” Dibble sneezed as some wheat dust got up his nose. “And he’s makin’ a ton of copper. And he knows a thing or two about most anything mechanical or …”

“Oh, shut yer blitherin’ trap,” Ted grumbled in annoyance. “I was jest thinkin’ aloud. Miss Proudfoot ain’t the prettiest lass in the Shire, but she’s not so bad off neither. And she’s got a successful practice set up in Hobbiton. Nice building and a garden back behind. Connections to the Boffins and the Tooks, if I understand her family’s dealings correctly. She and Baggins were quite a number there. Wonder what changed that?”

“Dunno, Teddy,” Dibble said. “I don’t think May knows either, or we wouldda heard it.”

“Has anyone seen Baggins in Hobbiton lately?” Ted yelled over the noise.

“Nope,” Dibble replied as he climbed down the steps leading up to the loading hopper. “Seems he’s hole up in Bag End. Ain’t been to town in at least two weeks though the Gamgees have been in ta market several times. Maybe Doc told ‘im off or sommat what got ‘im mad.”

“Here. Let’s load these sacks onta the pony cart,” Ted smiled as he dusted his hands on his breeches. “I think I see a chance to rub Frodo’s nose in the dirt. Bet it would bust his balls ifin I was to take his girl from him. That would put him in his place for sure.”

“Aw, come on, Teddy,” Dibble protested, “You can’t be serious ‘bout datin’ the doc, can ya? I mean, you did call her a South Farthing witch and all in public.” He walked through the open loading dock and jumped into the back of the pony cart.

“Yeah, well, I paid for that mistake and I’m sure she’s forgot by now,” Ted threw a full sack of oats at Dibble, who deftly caught it and stacked it neatly against the front rail. “Besides, I’ve been softenin’ her up by sendin’ her little gifts ever since she fixed up me hand. She should be in my debt by now. I even sent her that fickin’ songbird which cost me a pretty copper. She owes me a date or two at least.”

Ted continued to throw sacks of grain to Dibble. “Bet she’d be a fun bit of fluff in the sack, ifin ya catch me drift. She’s a doctor and all. Bet she knows some tricks and things to make a lad extra hard and last extra long. Bet that’s why ole Baggins latched onta her in the first place. She’s probably got some secret herbs and such.”

“Teddy, come on,” Dibble again protested. “She’s educated. She kin read and write. What is she gonna see in the likes of you?”

“Dibble, me lad, I’ll let ya in on a little secret,” Ted smirked. “She’s a single lass from out of town who’s past forty without jumpin’ the broom. If they get too lonely they lower their standards. She’s datin’ a blacksmith, fer crying aloud. She kin do a sight better with me. After all, I own the mill. And besides, if I bed her, I kin really have somethin’ to lord over that Baggins bastard.”

Ted stopped and placed his hands on his hips. “Dibble, I’m gonna take Frodo’s lass away from him. I’m gonna screw her up good ‘n’ hard and maybe even take her ta wife. I’m gonna knock her up and raise a batch of brats with her, and there ain’t gonna be nothin’ that bloody Baggins kin do about it.”

“Teddy, you need to have yer head examined,” Dibble snorted.

“You watch me,” Ted bragged as he grabbed another sack and threw it out the dock.

Ted decided to drop into the doctor’s office that afternoon. The check up on his injured hand wasn’t scheduled until the following Monday, but he thought it was a good excuse to jumpstart his plan. The hand was healing nicely, although the three fingers would never flex the same as before, or have any strength in them. In particular, his ring finger was of no use; the bone being splintered beyond salvaging in the grist mill accident. Iris wanted to amputate it but Ted wouldn’t allow it. He didn’t really mind having a useless finger. He still had all his fingers, and access to the doctor, and that was all that really mattered.

“What ever happened to that pretty little singin’ bird I sent ya?” Ted asked as he was putting on his coat.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but it’s no longer here,” Iris said as she put away her instruments. “I made the mistake of taking it out of its cage, and, well, it flew out the back door and that was the last I ever heard of it.” Iris didn’t like to lie, but this one came quite easily to her. She didn’t want to dwell on the real reason the bird was no longer around.

“That’s too bad,” Ted said. “Cost me a pretty copper, that bird did. Ah, well, tis gone now. No use crying over a silly songbird what’s left ya, is there? If ya catch my drift.” Ted winked.

Iris looked up at that remark, but didn’t reply. How much did Ted Sandyman know about her fight with Frodo?

Ted continued on. “Doc, I want yer to know I was wrong about you. You’re a right good doctor, and there’s no mistake about that. And a right pretty one too, if you don’t mind my being so bold. And seeings how you’re a free hobbitess, I was wonderin’ if you would like ta join me and me pals at the Bywater Little Fishies Inn this coming Friday? Shandy Merryweather is playin’ fiddle there on Fridays and it’s a good time. I’ll even bring the mill pony cart by ta pick you up. What ya say?”

That was a surprise. Suddenly Iris realized she was popular with the area bachelors. “Thank you Mister Sandyman. That is awfully kind of you to ask. But I have a prior commitment for this Friday. I do hope you and your pals enjoy the music.” She had lied again. It was becoming a habit when she dealt with Ted Sandyman.

“Well, all right,” Ted said as he turned to leave. “But I’m not going to give up that easily. I’ll be back, Miss Proudfoot.” Ted winked as he closed the door. He chuckled as he walked back to Bywater. It might take awhile, but he was convinced he would get the doctor into bed with him before the year was out.

Iris noticed the mail was in. There was a cream-colored envelop with a bright blue seal sitting atop the pile. It was an invitation to Fredigar Bolger’s wedding party on November 10th. Freddy was marrying Peony Fairweather, and most of Hobbiton, Bywater and Bag End were invited. It was to be held at the Green Dragon Inn, just a few doors down from her office. Iris decided to ask Theo Tuggle to escort her to the party, effectively warding off potential invites from both Ted and Frodo. Without waiting, Iris headed out the door and down to the blacksmith’s shop.

Theo was terribly pleased to have the Hobbiton physician invite him to be her escort to the social event of the season. His luck was still golden! He would be having lunch with Mayor before the year was out if he stuck with Iris.