The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 2)
~Written by Ethian~
Strider: Don’t play with the Ring, Shorty.
Frodo: But-
Sam bursts through the doors.
Sam: Leave him alone! Whew! And take a bath, will ya?
Strider: Hey… Arwen likes it.
Merry: She really needs help, then.
Pippin: Aren’t we supposed to be hiding from scary bunnies or something?
Sam: Bunnies?
Pippin: I don’t know…
Strider: Right, hold still. There’s no place like Rivendell, there’s no place like Rivendell, there’s… Hey, it’s not working…
The hobbits give Strider a strange look as he somehow clicks his boots and repeats what he already said.
Stider: Darn… it didn’t work…
Sam: No, but it did transport us across the street.
Frodo: Cool
Merry: Let’s go to sleep, since we’re SO far from danger…
The others: Right!
Frodo just glares at Merry, who’s supposed to remember to let Frodo get all the good ideas. A little while later they wake up, hearing noises from across the street.
Pippin: heehee, they must’ve found my dummies…
Merry: You’re family’s over there?
Sam: When did you have time to put dummies there?
Strider: They were once really good guys…but then they started hanging out with the wrong crowd… namely Sauron…
Frodo: I’m hungry
Pippin: When ya’ll were sleeping… hey! That’s my line!
Strider: Then Mom wouldn’t let me play with them anymore…
Merry: Notice, ahem, Strider’s in front of a big open window right across from the Nazgul and-
Frodo: Shut up, Merry, you’re ruining the script!
The Sandman, Elrond’s cousin, comes and puts them all to sleep. In the morning…
Strider: Let’s go!
Hobbits: Okey-doke!
Merry: Notice, Nazgul have disappeared…
Frodo: Shut up, Merry.
Strider: uhhh… guys? Which way to Rivendell?
The hobbits stare at him in disbelief, Pippin starts choking on his food.
Strider: hahaha, just kidding!
Pippin: It’s terribly sad…
Sam: What?
Pippin: I’m more mature than the future King of Gondor
Strider: I’m gonna leave you inexperienced guys alone in the middle of nowhere…
Merry: Why?
Strider: No reason, really, just don’t wanna be around when the Nazgul show up…
Frodo: Have you been reading the script again?
Strider: Uhh…. No…. nope, not me, no way.
Frodo: Whatever
Poof! Strider disappears
Poof! He returns
Strider: Oh, I almost forgot, here’s some pathetic little swords…
Poof! He’s gone again
Frodo: *thinking to himself* Ha… I’ve finally got an idea *then out loud* Hey guys! Let’s start a fire and cook up some food.
Sam: Uhh… maybe that’s not such a-
Frodo glares at Sam
Sam: Nevermind
Frodo smiles
Pippin: Who in the world would eat tomatoes with bacon? Yuck
Merry hands him some of both
Pippin: ooh, thanks!
Frodo: Where’d we get fresh tomatoes?
Sam: Ooh, I’ll cook!
Frodo: I’m going to sleep
Nazgul: SSSSCCCCRRREEEECCCCHHHH!!!!!!
Frodo: Uh-oh…
Pippin: Ya think Strider’ll be mad?
But the other hobbits were already up the stairs
Pippin: Hey! Wait for me!
Nazgul: Boo!
Merry: We so saw you coming
Witch King: Darn… but Frodo, I have a present for you!
Frodo: Ooh, what? I think I’ll just drop my sword…
The Witch King throws a ping-pong ball at Frodo and hits him in the left shoulder
Frodo: Owwwww!
Poof! Strider’s back!
Sam: What’s that with the cool sword?
Merry: Is it a Nazgul?
Pippin: Is it a bunny?
All 3: No! It’s Strider-man!
Frodo: That was so lame
Merry: Hey, take what you can get
Frodo: Whatever
Random Nazgul: AAAHHH! We must surely flee for there are only 5 of us powerful creatures and 1 Ranger!
All the Nazgul jump off the REALLY high tower
Sam: Strider-Man! Uh… I mean Strider!
Pippin: *with a strong Scottish accent* Is he going to die?
Strider: He’s been struck with a Morgul Ping-Pong ball… this is behind my skill to heal
Merry: Oh that’s just pathetic
Strider: He needs Elvish chocolates!
Arwen: Boo! Haha, you let your girlfriend sneak up on you!
Aragorn: You’re late
Arwen: I know, I had to fight Glorfindel for this part… stole his horse *evil snicker*
Aragorn: Okay, whatever, just stay here with the Nazgul… I mean hobbits.
Arwen: You sexist pig! You think that just because you’re this big bad ranger man you can take over… well you know-
Aragorn: Nevermind! Gosh! Just go then!
Arwen gives him a triumphant look.
Arwen: Oh crud!
Aragorn: What?
Arwen: Glorfindel’s coming! Augh!
As Arwen’s runs away on Asfaloth, Strider tosses Frodo onto the horse with her.
Frodo: Hey, easy!
Sam: Run! He’s coming!
Glorfindel runs up to them just as Arwen and Frodo pass out of site
Glorfindel: Where’d that dang woman go with my horse?
Since Arwen went north, Aragorn pointed south
Glorfindel: Thanks
He ran north
Arwen: Gotta get to Daddy, gotta get to Daddy…
Frodo: Uh… it was just a ping-pong ball.
Arwen: I know, but you’re mortally wounded!
Frodo: No… actually, I fell just fine.
Frodo tries to sit up, but Arwen pushes him back down
Arwen: Listen up! I have to be a hero, you have to be hurt for me to be a hero, now if you’re not hurt, I could arrange it to be different.
Frodo: *groans fakely* Ow, ow, I’m so hurt…
Arwen smiles as she rides on
Nazgul: You can run but you can’t hide!
Arwen: Okay, Frodork, try to look pathetic… oh nevermind, you’re doing a great job of it already
Frodo: Hey...
Asfaloth: Will you both just be quiet and stay still? I’m trying to make a big scene here!
Arwen and Frodo: Oh, uh, sorry…