| Comedy Index | Home Page The Two Towers - 2 Minute Script FRODO: owe, pain SAM: aw, poor you FRODO: Hey look, it's Gollum! GOLLUM: We know the way to Mordor, want us to take you? SAM: no FRODO: yes SAM: fine than... EOMER: Hi! How's everyone doing here- wait....what are you doing in these lands? GIMLI: Mind your own buisness LEGOLAS: yeah, or I'll blast ya with my spiffy new bow that Galadriel gave me ARAGORN: Hey, have you folks seen a couple little guys, about this high…? EOMER: Nope. Oh! Unless they were in that pile of corpses we burned. ARAGORN: Thank you; that's…useful… EOMER: Yeah; my bad. Here, have some horses; It'll make ya feel better PIPPIN: yay! we escaped from the uruk hai! MERRY: Let's run up a tree! PIPPIN:.....ok MERRY: this one's nice PIPPIN: hey look it talks! Treebeard: hom ARAGORN: darn, guess they're dead LEGOLAS: shucks ARAGORN: wait, no...My special ranger skills tell me they went into Fangorn Forest! LEGOLAS: look, its Gandalf! ARAGORN: Gandalf! You're alive! LEGOLAS: Where DID you get that spiffy, new outfit? GANDALF: JC Penney's....It was half off, I couldnt resist. LEGOLAS: and you got a matching horse! GANDALF: I'm hungry, what say we go to Edoras? The King'll give us food GIMLI: FOOD??!!?? THEODEN: uuuuggghhhh GANDALF: GRRR.....you're under a spell! (booga booga boo!) Now your not! THEODEN: I'm free! ...darn...My son's dead GRIMA: ok, I think I'll go now EOWYEN: Cool, no more Grima! (to Aragorn) ooo, hey handsome! Did you know I can sword fight? ARAGORN: *think arwen, think arwen, think arwen THEODEN: Let's go to Helm's Deep GANDALF: I'm leaving now LEGOLAS: WARGS! GIMLI: Watch of for that cliff aragorn- oops, too late SAM: Gollum is such a freak. FRODO: Yeah, well, you're a jerk. SAM: What? He is a freak. FRODO: Whatever, Sam. Want some cheese with your whine? SAM: You're so mean Frodo! FRODO: Oh, spare me. ARAGORN: Hmm. This must be a dream. ARWEN: Why do you say that? ARAGORN: Because you're not even supposed to be IN this book. ARWEN: Don't be mean. I'll tell Daddy. ARAGORN: Whatever. Wake me up, would you? LEGOLAS: HAha, I'm cuter than you! ARAGORN: Nice to see you, too. LEGOLAS: This is going to be most unpleasant. Hundreds of people will die. ARAGORN: Thank you, Captain Obvious. TREEBEARD: hom hom GOLLUM: Ssstupid fat hobbit! Using sage in stew like thisss! SAM: What's your problem? Sage brings out the flavor. GOLLUM: Smeagol would use nice mix of rosemary and lavender, yess, precious. FRODO: Hey, you guys? Something's out there in the forest. SAM: Now, if you only found us some eggs, I could make crepes, wrap up the meat, drizzle the juices over it with a little bit of blackcurrant chutney... FRODO: Hey, you guys, look! It's Martha Stewart! GOLLUM: Where? SAM: Where? FRODO: Now that I have your attention, may I point out the Oliphaunt that's about to step on us? FARAMIR: Look! Strange little men! Let's take them home. RANDOM GUY: elves! ORCS: (fight fight fight) TREEBEARD: homm...taking you home PIPPIN: let's go south TREEBEARD: ok SAM: (seeing frodo with the Nagul) DONT DO IT FRODO!!!!! FRODO: Ow! Hey! That's it...this time I'm cutting your throat! SAM: But Mr. Frodo...I was saving the world...you were going to give the Ring to that Nazgul... FRODO: No, I wasn't. I was doing a lightning experiment. SAM: Well, that's pretty stupid too, now isn't it. FRODO: Hmm. I suppose so. Sorry, dude. TREEBEARD: What the... ENTS! ATTACK! ARAGORN: Gandalf!!! GANDALF: Attack! FARAMIR: ok, I'll let you go now RANDOM GUY: But your father... FARAMIR: He won't mind.... FRODO: yippy! The End! |