| Comedy Index | Home Page How Far is Too Far in you LotR Obssession? You robe your dog in all black garb with pasted on wings and attempt to fly on him in a black cloak You accuse Saruman for every thunderstorm You try to walk on snow without footprints You go up to random people on the street, grasp their hand and say (with tears in your eyes) "We SHALL see the shire again." You have sworn never to step foot in Chicago again because of the movie that "unjustly stole The Two Towers' rightful Academy Award" You've gone to see lotr in theaters so many times that you've developed a close friendship with the popcorn guy Strange names like "Brian Sibley" and "Costa Botes" ring a bell to you You go in to get plastic surgy so you can pointy ears You get very annoyed when the "Ents" in your backyard won't talk to you Every time you walk past jewelry stores you swear you can hear the rings whispering to you Whenever someone tries to take anything from you, you get all sensitive and yell that "It's MINE! MY OWN my preciousssssss..." *eyes bulge You dance with rage nonstop for three days as soon as someone mentions Harry Potter You've watch the movies until they are out of theaters and then you wear sackcloth and ashes until they come out in video You frame your abundant cornucopia of tickets from the movies and hang them beautifully on the wall You talk to your LOTR action figures. You eat 6 meals a day Your cellphone ring is the "Concerning Hobbits" You see black birds and shout out "CREBAIN FROM DUNLAND!" then hide behind the nearest bush....sure...just "innocent little birdies", are they? You actually get confused when people tell you hobbits aren't real You want to get 9 pets and name them Frodo, Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Sam, Merry, and Pippin You randomly shout out lotr characters names. You are known as the "lotr freak" wherever you go You kiss your worn copy of Lord of the Rings goodnight, before you go to bed....every night You depart from your friends by saying "May the hair on your feet never grow less!" You eat tomatoes, sausage, and nice crispy bacon whenever you can get it You throw a temper every time someone mentions A beautiful Mind because you know it beat The Fellowship of The Ring at the Academy Awards You walk around your house in an Elven cape and claim it will shield you from angry eyes You insult people by calling them "Orc," "Gollum," or "Spawn of Sauron" You would rather listen to the lotr soundtrack than the radio You run to the door when you're late for school calling "Let us make haste!" You spread hair regrowing cream on your feet to see if that'll make you look more "hobbitish" You call yourself "precious" and refer to yourself as "we" when people aren't listening You quote the movie in your daily life You buy a ring from the bubble gum machine and throw it into a fire to see if any Elvish appears on it. Your friends ask you "Are you still obsessed with it?" and you automaticly know what "it" refers to You see a tall man wearing all black and you run the other way screaming "Help the Ringwraith is after me!" You plan to name your children after Tolkien characters You spontaniously jump on your kitchen table and start to sing "Hey! Ho! there's a song I know..." You build a boat to sail over the pool in your backyard and shout "My time on middle-earth is ended! I will depart for the Grey Havens!" You answer Frodo/Legolas/Aragorn to all the questions you can't remember on a history test You ask your French teacher if you'll get extra credit if you answer the question in Elvish You'll spontaniously start cracking up over thinking about how funny it is that Frodo falls down on average ever 10 minutes in the fellowship of the Ring You know stupid facts like that Frodo falls down on average every 10 minutes in the fellowship of the Ring You eat slices and slices of Wonder bread claiming it's Lembas You contact the school board to require the education of Dwarvish in your school You ask God every night to "please make Hobbits real" You spend your Christmas Break creating a lotr song in the tune of Jingle Bells You've actually spent your time to read this far You go into a stage of anger whenever someone says they don't care to much for lotr You spend your entire fortune on tolkien books and merchandise You've suddenly adapted a keen interest in mushrooms You talk to the giant Lord of the Rings poster on your wall...constantly At sleepovers, your friends complain you wouldn't stop shouting "Frodo Lives!" in your sleep |