Title: Tongue-tied
Author: Jen the Genie
Category: Humour
Rating: G
Archive/contact: Yes - all I ask is visitation rights - Jenna.caine@ntlworld.com
Feedback: Nice words get you wishes - flames stop me writing crap, (hopefully)!
Disclaimer: CC/1013 own 'em - I just mess with their heads from time to time.

Authors notes:

Don't worry if you don't get this....I know that a special someone will. *G*

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"Okay Mulder....can you run that by me just one more time...please?"

Mulder took a deep breath, let it out, then slowly began to repeat . "Tthy twth thwust thooing thss ttwhen ttthit tfhuck!"

He shrugged appologetically "Throrry!....thwetty thumb huh?"

"Well yes....you could say." Scully's eyebrows knitted together as she manouvered the small flashlight to get a better look. "And you can't push it back?"

Mulder rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Thwried...twhouldn't thfudge."

"Okay...looks like there's only one thing for it then. " She began to rummage in her medical bag until she pulled out a pair of needle nosed forceps and a small scalpel. "Now hold still, this is going to smart."

Mulder's eyes widened and he paled slightly. "Thew Thwaw 'hout hiss?"

"Trust me.....now hold still will'ya."

He tensed. Was that a tremble in Scully's usually rock steady hand? Tiny beads of sweat began to break out on his forehead as he followed the instuments path until he went cross eyed at the end of his nose.

"Almost got it..." Scully murmered "Almost...almost..."

The first hint of the cold surgical steel and Mulder snapped his head back. "Thully!!" he yelped.

Scully took a quick step back."Jesus Mulder, don't do that!"

"Throrrry..." he mumbled sheepishly sliding back into place. "Thwy Thwanekd"

"Well don't....or I guarantee you'll never whistle Dixie again!"

As her hands came back into his field of vision, Mulder felt his stomach quiver nauseously and had to close his eyes. He felt Scully re-positioned herself between his thighs. He felt the hot-cold beam of the torch reach inside him and braced himself for the inevitable lance of pain: Nothing happened. Cautiously he opened one eye. Scully was gazing, as if entranced, at his mouth.

"Thwassupp?" he asked, concerned.

"Nothing!....I was just thinking." Scully tried to hide a smile.

"You ready for this?"

"Thwy thwongues thwowing thwumb!" He stated.

"Better get this over with then." She raised her hands and Mulder closed his eyes again. This time he felt the touch of the instruments and as much as he tried to fight the urge to pull away he found himself caught in a reflex.

"Mulder! For heavens sake...." Scully's tone was exasparated.

"What is it now?"

"Thwy thwant thwoo thwit!" He sighed trying to chew on his lip but failing miserably.. "thwy thwan't thweem thwoo thwold thwill."

"I could ask Skinner to come down here and sit on you!"

Mulder digested this thought then shook his head.

"Thwets thwoo thwit!" "

He felt the cold, hard steel touch home. He felt the tug of the operation and forced himself to fight the urge to cry out with a 'girlie' scream. With a resounding pop and a slurp he was freed from his predicament. He opened his eyes to see Scully grinning triumphantly. "All done!" she grinned passing him a piece of ice.

"Thwanks...I mean thanks" he stuttered sucking on the ice cube.

"You're welcome." Scully beamed "But a word of advise Mulder, next time Frohike sends you a Chinese Finger Trap?....don't stick your tongue into it!"