Absence Of Fear

Chapter 3

A Shot In The Dark

Disclaimer: Don't own ER or any of the characters. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, feedback was very encouraging so thanks!! I want to apologize for how late this chapter is, I've just finished exams so I was occupied with studying etc. But I know a lot of people have been waiting for this chapter, so here it finally is, enjoy!!!

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Kerry instinctively placed her hand on top of her abdomen, the overpowering pain rushing through every vein in her body. Her breathing grew rapid as she removed her hand from her painful abdomen, only to be met with the horrifying sight of her own blood dripping from her long, slender fingers.

"Oh god" she whispered in between her quick breaths, releasing her unsteady grip of her crutch and collapsing to the ground in a fit of tears and intense pain. She had been shot. Shot, it seemed so unreal. Less than an hour ago she had been suturing a little girl's hand, now she lay bleeding to death on the cold, wet concrete ground of the hospital's rooftop. "Susan" she croaked, her throat as dry as a desert.

"I'm here Kerry" the female doctor rushed to the injured woman's side. "I'm here"

"Where's.....Da......"

"He's gone" Susan tried to remain as calm as possible. "Just try and stay awake Kerry, just keep talking, we're going to be okay, everything will be fine" she reassured the Chief. "It'll be fine"

"Oh god" Kerry winced in pain, grimacing as she tried in vain to move her weak body.

"Don't move" Susan ordered as she pressed her hand against the bleeding wound. "Just stay focused Kerry, stay awake" Susan closed her eyes and sighed quietly. She had to stay strong for Dr Weaver, had to think quickly if she wanted to save the woman's life.

"It....hurts....god it... hurts" the red headed woman whispered through shallow breaths, the pain growing stronger and stronger with every breath she took. Focusing her eyes on the dark skies above, she willed the pain to go away through clenched teeth. It felt as though a thousand needles were continuously stabbing her abdomen. It felt like hell on earth.

"Kerry, I have to go find help" Susan spoke quickly, looking down on the bleeding woman with concerned eyes.

"No...no Susan" Kerry shook her head with a look of panic on her face. "Don't leave"

"I have to find help, I'll be back" Susan stood up and removed her hand from Kerry's abdomen. The wound bled profuriously as Susan suddenly realized Kerry was too weak to apply pressure and reduce the bleeding. By the time she found help, the shot doctor could be dead.

"Here we'll use this" Susan referred to her lab coat as she removed the item of clothing and pressed it tightly against the wound. "I'll page John, they'll come find us, we'll be okay. I promise"

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Abby tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear and began to climb up the stairs to the rooftop. The ER was pretty quiet now so the young nurse had decided it was a good time to take a well-deserved break. Gripping a plastic cup of coffee in one hand, she held onto the banister with the other and climbed one stair at a time. The rooftop was always a good place to think, peaceful and quiet. Sometimes she would just sit and watch the clouds in the skies, deep in thought and worry. It didn't matter what day she came up here on, her thoughts were always of John. She missed his friendship, his companionship. He always had time to listen to her problems give advice or comfort when needed. She missed that. She missed him. It had been months since he turned down her advances by the riverside, but not one day went by when Abby didn't stop loving the male doctor. It wasn't just some silly crush, or some desire to date the most eligible male of the ER, she really did love him. The way his eyes sparkled when he found something amusing, the way he would hold her when she was upset, the way he always seemed to find the right words to sat at the right time. It was different from the way she loved Luka. That was like the love you would have for a brother, and Abby had stupidly thought she could make herself like him in a different way. She couldn't imagine never loving John. In years time she still saw herself holding a special place for him in her heart. But what could she do? He was happily dating Susan, he didn't want her anymore, he had moved on. That was why Abby had avoided speaking to him so much, it hurt so much to know he would only ever think of her as a friend. She thought by not seeing him so often she could block the pain and manage to move on, but as each day passed she found herself wanting the caring physician even more. Sometimes I wish I hade never fallen in love with you John Carter, Abby thought to herself as a loud set of footsteps broke her out of her thoughts. A tall, male figure ran quickly down the stairs towards the young nurse, but it was only when he stood a few stairs away from her that she finally realized who he actually was.

"David?" she sounded surprised as she tried to grab the man's arm to prevent him from running straight past her. But as she grabbed his arm, a gun shot rang loudly through the stairway as Abby Lockhart stumbled to the ground in a pool of blood.

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"Hey Frank, have you seen Susan?" John asked as he strolled leisurely into the hospital's reception, removing his long coat and placing it over his right arm.

"No, I haven't seen Dr Lewis for quite some time now" Frank answered, never removing his eyes from the computer screen he was busily typing at. "I thought she was attending Dr Greene's funeral"

"That's strange" John chewed his bottom lip as he tried to work out where the woman could be. "She never turned up for the funeral. And I know she wouldn't miss out on seeing goodbye to him unless there was a very good reason. You sure you haven't seen her?"

"No" Frank shook his head again. "Or Dr Weaver for that matter"

"How was the funeral?" Randi asked, picking up the telephone to make a call.

"It was a very beautiful tribute to a wonderful man" John spoke with great honesty and emotion. His words were true though. Mark had been a great doctor, friend, father and husband. He certainly was a wonderful man. "Have you seen Abby anywhere, I needed to talk to her?"

"I think she headed up to the roof, she's on break" Chuny answered handing John a chart. "Leg-lac in two and there's vomiting in curtain three" she briefly informed him of the patients awaiting his medical help.

"I'm on my way" John saluted in a mock gesture and headed towards the staff lounge to hang his coat up. "Damn it!" he cursed loudly as he took a couple of steps away from the reception desk.

"What is it?" Chuny asked, scribbling some notes down on a chart.

"I left my pager at the church"

"It's okay, I'll come find you if there's any urgent traumas" Chuny reassured him before walking down the corridor. But little did they know that an urgent trauma was awaiting their help on the rooftop......

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"Where are you John?" Susan asked quietly to herself, panicking at the amount of blood Kerry had already lost. "C'mon Kerry, stay awake" she ordered forcefully, pressing her lab coat now soaked in blood tighter against the wound as she squeezed the woman's cold, limp hand. "Stay awake, help will arrive soon"

Kerry tried her best to keep her eyes open, even though she could feel every last bit of strength leaving her weak body. Her face was pale and cold, and the blood had stained her short sleeved shirt red. It was a struggle to keep breathing as the pain continued to grow more and more intense. Every limb in her body ached terribly, as she continued to bleed heavily. Kerry had lost count on how many gun shot victims she had treated over the years. She knew her injuries were severe, that there was a strong likelihood of death. But how could she die? She was only thirty-seven years old, not even half of her life had passed by her yet. As she lay there on the hard concrete grounds, it wasn't any thoughts of her partner Sandy Lopez who brought her any comfort. It was Kim Legapsi.

"I'll page Abby again" Susan told her, a worried expression clearly printed on her face.

Kerry grunted from the pain, trying to concentrate on her breathing, even though the breaths were slow and infrequent. Her fingers slowly slipped out of Susan's grasp as darkness overtook the injured Chief.

"Kerry, Kerry!" Susan screamed in a fit of panic. "Oh god. C'mon John, we need help" she whispered softly, closing her eyes and praying for assistance. Glancing down at her blood-stained watch, she realized that Mark's funeral would have ended by now. But as she cradled the bleeding Dr Weaver in her arms, she vowed that even though she had missed out on the chance to say goodbye to a dear friend, she would save the life of a woman she had once regarded as her enemy.

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Abby rolled over onto her side, noticing the blood staining her lavender scrubs wet. Breathing heavily, she gritted her teeth and tried to ignore the avalanche of pain rushing through her body. Her whole life seemed to flash before her very eyes. Her mother's illness, her brother Eric, her marriage to Richard, the abortion, the drinking, med-school, being a nurse, wanting to be a doctor, Luka, John..... John. How she wished she was there in the comfort and safety of his warm embrace. With his strong arms wrapped tightly around her, he would lean down and promise that everything would be okay. That no matter how difficult life became, they would always pull through. How she wished he was there for her. "Help me John" she cried frightened before darkness eventually overtook the female nurse.

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"I only have three tickets left" Chuny threw her hands in the air as she slowly walked up the stairs with John.

"Oh c'mon I asked weeks ago" John replied, trying his best to persuade the female nurse that he deserved one of the spare baseball tickets she had. "And I asked really nicely too"

"No John Carter, Susan asked first!"

"Ah, well, I'll try and steal it off her" John laughed cheekily as he ran a hand through his hair. "Speaking of Susan where is she?"

"Maybe she took the rest of the day off, upset over Mark's funeral" Chuny suggested as they climbed the stairs at a leisurely pace.

"Maybe, hey is Abby still on break?"

"I haven't seen her, although she might have stopped off at psyche to check if they took up a patient of hers"

"Oh god!" Carter screamed as he reached the top of the stairway, pressing his hand against his mouth in horror at the sight before him. Abby. Lying there in a pool of blood, not moving or making a sound. John couldn't believe what he was looking at, maybe his eyes were deceiving him, this was just an illusion or a bad dream. Yes it's a dream, he thought with tears in his eyes. I fell asleep in the lounge and Abby will wake me up in an hour, alive and well. Ina state of utter panic and shock, he rushed over to the injured woman's side and checked for a pulse.

"How....how?" Chuny shook her head in disbelief as she knelt down beside the other nurse.

"Get help now!" John ordered, trying to fight back the tears that were forming at the corners of his eyes. "Now Chuny, now!" As the woman rushed back down the stairway, John sat helplessly by Abby's side, trying his best to reduce the heavy bleeding. He couldn't believe that this was happening. Not another friend attacked, surely not another death of a woman he deeply cared about. The scene was all too remiscent of Valentine's Day. But he refused to believe that Abby could die that day. She couldn't leave him, not his Abby Lockhart. Not his Abby.

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Author's Notes: So, what fate awaits Abby? Will the team be able to save her in time? Will Kerry and Susan be found in time? What will happen to Kerry? Will David be caught? Tell me if you want another chapter, feedback, ideas are very, very welcome.