TITLE: Pride and Prejudice (Part 5 of `Here With Me`)
AUTHOR: Ceri
EMAIL: ceriellis@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: AL/JC
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: If there were, I forget which ones. Oh, and in my world, Rena never existed. Cruel, but necessary.
ARCHIVE: Sure, just ask
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the original ER characters, just the ones I make up, and, naturally, the twisted little plots that are products of my addled mind.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the sequel to `In Spite Of Me`.
SUMMARY: Abby gets even more confused after a gift from Carter.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

It was one of those situations when you really, really didn't want to cry, but you would anyway. They had to obey the laws of gravity; tears had to fall, thick and fast, and for so many different reasons that she had lost count.

Gift wrap lay strewn at her feet, the object in question set carefully on the coffee table as if it were a precious metal, not to be disturbed in case it would be tarnished. Abby stared down at it, eyes wide, on the verge of tears – maybe even sobs, she never could tell with her disposition – just waiting for something to happen.

Nothing did.

Carter had bought her a gift. Granted, he had bought it about eight months ago, but that wasn't the point. He could've not given it to her. He could've taken it back, or kept it for himself. But he didn't – he gave it to *her*. That meant something...right?

Jing Mei didn't think so. She sat opposite Abby, sipping her coffee and watching Abby with great amusement. Well, Abby was glad *someone* found it funny. All she could feel was total heartbreak. And that was never a good thing. It had taken her three solid weeks to work up the courage to open the gift, and now her emotions were going haywire.

Her friend leant across and picked it up, smirking as Abby let out an indignant gasp. She peered at it curiously, admiring it in total silence until, finally, she found the words.

"`How to dirty dance`?!"

The two women met each other's eyes, and grinned. Okay, so maybe it was a little bit funny. How Carter had ever thought she could `dirty dance` when she was pregnant was beyond her. Obviously that wasn't relevant now – and she cursed herself for bringing the subject back in to her mind – but still. It was…vaguely amusing.

"Do you even have a DVD player?" Jing Mei asked helpfully, placing the box back on the table and looking around her. "'Cause I've found those things really don't work in a VCR."

Abby chuckled. "No, I don't," she replied with a shrug. "I guess I'll have to go over to John's to watch it."

Jing Mei smiled sympathetically, tilting her head to the right to peer at Abby, clearly trying to read her expression. "Maybe Ellen Crawford will teach you."

Abby's face fell, and she pouted. "Luka has a DVD player, too."

"That's a relief."

They fell in to silence again, ogling the picture of Patrick Swayze on the cover of the DVD. Thoughts and images and, to be honest, truly horrifying situations were playing over and over in her head – all featuring Carter and that stunning bitch of a woman, Ellen Crawford.

Unfortunately, Abby knew her. They had been quite close, for one reason or another, for a few years. By `close`, she of course meant that they met up for coffee about once a month, swapped gossip, and complimented one another on their haircuts. It was the woman thing to do. Abby never thought she would hate this lovely, kind, beautiful
person.

But she really, really despised her now.

It wasn't that she was jealous. No! Far from it...she just...it was hard to describe. She was happy for John, glad that he was moving on...she just wished that he could've waited a little longer.

"Do you think they're in love?"

Jing Mei looked up, considering the question. "I don't know. I doubt it. They've only known each other for about a month, right?"

Anything could happen in a month! God, what if they were sleeping together? What if they were going to get married? Abby scowled. Carter had never proposed to *her*, and she had been carrying his child! How dare he ask that floozy to marry him when he –

Oh. That's right. He probably hadn't. She was just letting her imagination run wild. And that was never a safe thing to do.

"Abby?"

She looked up at Jing Mei, completely unaware that the tears had finally put in an appearance. "Yeah?"

"Maybe..." she started, then paused. "Maybe you should talk to John about all this. Maybe...maybe he feels the same way you do."

"The way I do?" Abby questioned with a forced laugh. "You mean, maybe he feels that us being friends is a good idea as well? Don't worry, Deb, I already know that."

Jing Mei rolled her eyes, slumping back against the couch and staring evenly at Abby. Something about it unnerved her...like Jing Mei could read minds. Or maybe Abby's was just that much simpler to read.

"You love him."

She gulped. "Yeah."

"You want to be with him."

"...Yeah."

"And what is stopping you?"

"Uh...my pride?"

"No!" Jing Mei corrected, pointing her index finger at Abby threateningly. "The only thing stopping you is a doctor from pedes oncology. And we all know what push-over's they are up in pedes oncology."

Abby smiled in spite of herself. "But Ellen...Ellen's my friend – "

"If she's any kind of friend, she'll realize how you and John are meant to be and she is just getting in the way of a divine match."

"A divine match?"

"You know...made in heaven...proclaimed from on high...that sort of
thing."

Abby smirked. "You're mental, you know that?"

"I am fully aware of that fact, thank you," her friend giggled in reply. "Now, are you gonna go after that man or not?"

Abby paused. "Um...can I get back to you on that one?"

*****

How he had managed to convince her that going out for dinner was a good idea, she didn't know. Maybe it was his chivalrous nature, his tall, dark, handsome looks...or the fact that she was absolutely starving. But nonetheless, there they were, waiting to be seated in some random French restaurant that Luka liked...he had mentioned something about a waitress there. Abby knew she was probably just being used so Luka could flirt with a waitress, but hey, if she got a free meal out of it, she couldn't really complain.

Her chat with Jing Mei that morning had been playing on her mind all day. The question on everybody's lips – or, at least, Deb and Luka's – was why the hell wasn't she just talking to Carter about it all?

Well, she had her reasons. Firstly, she didn't know if he felt the same way about her, and if she said anything, and he didn't, then it could totally ruin their friendship forever and ever. And then some. Secondly...well, that was all she had…but there was plenty of time to make up some more.

"Table for two?"

Luka nodded dutifully, and the maitre'd scurried off again, leaving them waiting with two menus. Abby sighed, eyes skimming over the food available. All she had to do was distract herself...not even give John, or Ellen, a passing thought. Forget either of them existed.

Shouldn't be too hard.

"So where's your waitress?" Abby asked, squinting to see Luka through the semi-darkness.

"She must be around here somewhere..."

"Unless she isn't working tonight."

"Oh...I think she is..."

"You have her work schedule memorized?"

Luka chuckled, running his hand through his hair sheepishly. "What can I say, I'm dedicated."

"That's one word for it," she teased. Now *this* was nice. No thoughts of sex, no thoughts of anything…or anyone in particular. Just two friends. Having fun. Oh God. John had a tie like that. No. Stop it. Happy thoughts. "Stalker is another."

"I prefer dedicated," Luka shrugged, offering Abby a sly wink as a waitress – presumably Luka's waitress, as she exuberantly kissed him on both cheeks – appeared as if from nowhere.

"Table for two," the annoyingly blonde, annoyingly slim waitress said through her thick French accent. "We `ave one ready for you."

Luka and the Blonde Waitress lead the way, chatting away happily about something or other – it sounded vaguely like chess to Abby, but this made no sense to her at all. Abby followed close behind, eyes on her menu. The question was, should she get the soup, or the salad? Or maybe even the pate, it did look –

"Abigail!"

She froze, and looked up slowly. Right next to the empty table that Luka was seating himself at was another table for two. Abby swallowed hard. If this was supposed to be funny...

"How is *that* for a coincidence?!" Ellen enthused, nudging her dinner partner with her elbow and beaming up at Abby. "Abby, you know John Carter, right? Don't you guys work in the ER together?"

Abby's eyes automatically moved to Ellen's right, where none other than John Carter sat, staring up at her in bemusement and vague embarrassment. There was a long pause as they just stared at each other.

"Yeah. I think I know him," Abby murmured at last, suddenly very aware that her heart was pounding against her rib cage a mile a minute. "Maybe."

Luka, who was clearly finding the whole situation very amusing, chipped in with, "Didn't you guys used to date?"

Ellen looked confused. "Abby and I?"

"No...Carter and Abby..." Luka corrected her, treating the doctor to one of his award-winning smiles that most women melted at. Both Abby and Ellen looked nonplussed.

"That's right," Carter spoke up at last, his eyes darting awkwardly from Abby to Ellen. "Thanks for the reminder, Luka."

"You are welcome," Luka grinned, turning back to his Blonde Waitress and engaging her in more conversation about chess.

Meanwhile, no one had said a word. Ellen was staring up at Abby, looking a little bit thrown by this sudden revelation. Finally, she spoke.

"Oh! So you guys..." She waved her hand between them, as if that explained everything. "And you – " She pointed at Abby. "...Oh, I'm so sorry. That must've been awful for you."

Abby raised her eyebrows curiously. "Pardon?"

"The miscarriage. If I had known I would've called."

Okay. Be calm. Stay calm. Everything was fine, nothing was wrong, she did *not* want to kick Carter's sorry little ass –

"Actually," Abby spoke up at least, trying not to let the spite and anger and frustration that were building up inside her overflow. "It was no problem. I had all the support I needed - " She glared at Carter to illustrate her point. " – and I'm fine. But, uh, you know what, I'm not really hungry anymore, and I hear this place sucks
anyway, c'mon Luka, let's go."

Luka stared up at her in horror. "But – "

"Fine!" she interrupted him, quite impressed with her own erratic behaviour. "I don't need you to help me get a cab!"

She pulled on her coat and stormed out of the restaurant – as easily as you could with all those pesky tables and glasses and crockery in the way – only stopping once she reached the sidewalk outside. Deep, cleansing breaths. Everything was just fine.

"Abby?"

She rolled her eyes, not turning around. She knew that voice anywhere. Normally, she would have loved to hear that voice...but now, it just grated on her nerves.

"What?"

Carter stepped in to her eye line. "I'm sorry. I was upset a while back and she asked me what was wrong...it all came out. I never would've told her if I knew that you didn't want me to."

Abby broke his gaze, looking down at the cement. "I know. I over-reacted. I'm sorry."

Carter paused, shuffling his feet nervously. "Are - are you sure you're okay? I can drive you home if you want...Luka's still flirting with that waitress."

It was tempting. If he drove her home, she could bring up the subject of her maybe perhaps being slightly in love with him still...he could say he felt the same...they could kiss...and be together forever...

"No, I'll be fine," she told him, her conscience getting the better of her. "Go finish your date. Try the cheesecake. I hear it's excellent."

Carter smiled slightly, and leaned over to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. Her heart skipped a beat. "Thanks, Abby. I'll see you tomorrow."

He disappeared back inside the restaurant, leaving her cheek burning from his lips against her skin, her eyes filling with tears, her whole being just brimming with raw emotions.

Why did everything have to be so complicated?

*****