TITLE: Dancing In The Moonlight (Part 10 of `Here With Me`)
AUTHOR: Ceri
EMAIL: ceriellis@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: AL/JC
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: If there were, I forget which ones. Oh, and in my world, Rena never existed. Cruel, but necessary.
ARCHIVE: Sure, just ask
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the original ER characters, just the ones I make up, and, naturally, the twisted little plots that are products of my addled mind.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the sequel to `In Spite Of Me`.
SUMMARY: It's the end of the beginning. Or the beginning of the end. I'm not sure.

DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT

The early evening sky was still light; cornflower blue stretched for miles as far as the eye could see, spattered with wispy pink clouds, tinted with the light of the setting sun. A light breeze rustled over the vast waters, creating ripple after ripple, adding to the never ending cycle spreading across Lake Michigan.

If Carter had been in that frame of mind, he would've thought it was a fairly romantic setting.

Of course, he wasn't in the best of moods. He had been free and single for two days now, but had spent his forty-eight hours of freedom in his apartment, brooding and torturing himself over imagined images of Abby and her `Michael`. When he had found the note from Deb, slipped under his door, he had been glad to have a decent excuse to escape in to the outside world. He peered down at the crumpled paper in his fist through the semi-darkness, double-checking if he had the right place.

John,
Figured you needed cheering up. Picnic by the waterfront, you, me and enough food to last us the week. Meet you in the usual spot, 7pm.
Deb
X

He paused, looking around him for Deb...but saw no one who looked remotely like her. There was, however, a picnic blanket spread out with a hamper resting in the centre. A figure, whom he could barely make out in the fading light, sat alone; their back to him as they stared out across the water.

"Deb?"

Slowly, the person turned round, and Carter realized that it most definitely wasn't Deb. It was, in fact, the one person who had been occupying his thoughts for forty-eight solid hours.

"John?"

He blinked in confusion, stepping closer to her. There was something distinctly suspicious going on here. "Abby?...what are *you* doing here?"

Abby rolled her eyes dramatically. "*I'm* meeting Deb for a picnic," she told him. "What are *you* doing here?"

He chuckled wryly, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably. "Meeting Deb for a picnic."

She frowned, glancing around her as if expecting to see Deb jump out of from the bushes and yell `Surprise!`. "Deb...planned to meet us both?..."

"Looks like it."

"...and....why do I get the feeling that she isn't going to show up?"

Carter shoved his hands in his pockets, and shrugged. He hadn't been this close to Abby for a while...not since he had almost proposed to her...and look how well that had turned out. He couldn't be blamed for being nervous. "Mind if I sit down?"

Abby managed a nonchalant shrug, and he sat next to her on the blanket. There was a pause as they both stared out at the view, then, simultaneously, they turned to look at each other. Something passed between them...something stronger, more meaningful than words...something that told them they had the same idea, the same dreams, the same insecurities...

"Nice weather."

Abby gave a small smile, nodding her head in agreement, and turning to look out across the water again. "Yeah. I thought it was going to rain."

He watched her curiously. Maybe there was something still there. Maybe it wasn't just his imagination. Maybe it wasn't just Deb sticking her nose in and trying to fix them up because she was bored. "How characteristically optimistic of you."

She chuckled. "It usually does rain whenever I have plans. It's God's way of telling me to stay inside all day long."

"Uh huh. So why don't you take the hint?"

She swatted him lightly on the arm. "Oh, y'know, to keep up my tan. I don't like looking pale."

"You don't look pale," he reassured her, then paused. "I guess Michael's been taking good care of you."

"Who?"

Carter frowned. "Your boyfriend. Who you met at the video store."

"Oh," she replied quickly. "Him. No...uh...we broke up."

He felt happier than he had in a long time. And...well, she didn't look like she was taking it too hard. Was this a message - from Deb, or God even?! Was this the push they needed to just...sort things out, and live happily ever after? He supposed there was only one way to find out...he needed to be honest. She deserved that, at the very least.

"Ellen and I broke up."

Abby's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh..."

"She asked me if I still had feelings for you."

Abby looked down instantly, and Carter got the impression that she was preparing herself for the worst. This only encouraged him to continue - he had to get things out in the open...tell the truth. They had gone for so long, ignoring the things that needed to be said. It was time for all that to come out now.

"I didn't need to say anything," he murmured. "She could tell I was still hopelessly, head over heels, till death do us part in love with you."

There was another silence, and Carter studied her face carefully. He couldn't fail to notice the single tear slipping down her cheek...slowly, he reached out, brushing the droplet away with his thumb. His hand lingered on her face - this was the make or break moment. It could go either way. And he hoped against hope that she wouldn't turn away from him.

"I'm tired of being in denial," he whispered. "I'm tired of looking to the future and not seeing you there with me. I know that we're supposed to think that we're better off this way, that no one can get hurt...but it hurts. Every day. Because you've always been my life, Abby, and the gap is just too hard to fill."

She looked tormented - that was the only word for it. She didn't look up as she replied. "What makes you think that we can last? Look what happened before. We loved each other, sure, but we hurt each other even more. I don't know if I can face it happening again."

"You don't think I've considered that?" he asked softly. "Breaking up...moving on...that was the hardest thing I've had to do. And I know I couldn't do it again." He paused. "But I don't think I'll have to. Because you and me...it's..." He tried to ignore the choking in his throat as he struggled to finish his sentence. "...it's right."

He would remember it for the rest of his life. She raised her eyes to his, the deep brown portals shimmering with tears of joy, and leaned forward until her forehead rested against his. Three tiny words, spoken so softly, echoed throughout his mind, bringing with them a feeling of total euphoria; pure happiness, a feeling of peace after such a long and turbulent ride through life.

"I love you."

The following was a blur - hugging, kissing, crying. Murmurs of love and passion and happiness. Whispered apologies, muttered requests for forgiveness. Lips against lips, heart against heart, body against body.

"I've missed you...so much..."

Carter cupped her face gently, staring, unyielding, in to her eyes. There was such charm in those eyes. She was so beautiful, inside and out, and it was over-whelming. Her body, her soul, so tormented and broken, but still a picture of grace and beauty. She was constantly fighting with herself, with her emotions...and what connected them so was the fact that Carter loved her, no matter if she won or lost.

"Every day..." he whispered fervently. "Every day I wished I was with you."

She fell in to his embrace once more, wrapping her arms securely around his waist. "Maybe...maybe we needed that time apart to really realize what we had..."

Carter chuckled in spite of the torrent of emotions racing through him. "To torture ourselves, you mean?"

She smiled a faint smile. "I never appreciated you fully....and I'm sorry for that....all you did was help me - "

"And acting like a jealous jerk when I didn't need to be," he interrupted softly. "I should've trusted you."

Her fingers played with the collar of his shirt. "We both did things that we regret. But....but we should just look to the future..." She paused, straightening up and fixing him with an even stare. "We...we do have a future, right?"

He felt an overwhelming sense of happiness flood over his body - he had been about to ask the same question. It felt as if all his dreams and hopes were being answered and fulfilled, in such a small space of time, that he didn't know what to say or do to express how strongly he felt. Instead, he brought his lips to hers, kissing her softly.

He couldn't deny that he hadn't dreamt of this kiss every night for the past nine months. But all thoughts, all images left his head as he melted in to the kiss, draining him of energy and filling him with it at the same time. It was exhilarating and frightening and fulfilling. It was everything he had dreamed of and more.

It was love.

*****