Chapter Four

“I don’t know what Weaver’s thinking, but she said you could have your job back. I set up a meeting for you to go over everything with her. It’s for next week.”

Carter nodded absently. “Are you listening?”

He looked at her and grimaced. “Yeah. Next week. Loud and clear.” They were seated at Doc Magoo’s drinking coffee and talking.

He stared out the window pensively.

She watched him. “Have you called Abby?”

“I don’t have her number anymore.”

“Well, I do. I can give it to you.”

“No thanks.”

“Why not.”

“Not interested.”

“Liar.”

He stopped staring out the window and looked at her seriously. “I mean it. I can’t go through that again. I barely made it through the last time. I still don’t sleep all the way through the night. I haven’t since I left. Now that I’m back, I’m hoping to put some of this to rest.” He looked awful. The circles under his eyes were proof of his sleepless nights. The stubble on his jaw and his jeans and sweatshirt were proof that he probably was not a very happy person.

“I saw her the other day, you know.”

“What?” he asked sharply. “What do you mean, you saw her?”

“She stopped by the ER. Did you know that she quit? She works for an OB/GYN in the suburbs now. I think it was a good move for her.”

“She quit the ER?”

Susan nodded. “Not long after you did. I think it was just too painful. Too many memories.”

“Well, tough,” he said roughly.

“You should talk to her. I think - ”

“Susan, stop it. I can’t talk to her. I don’t have any idea what I’d even say. And I’m sure by now she’s moved on, so just drop it, please.”

He sounded broken, like there was something inside of him that just wasn’t working anymore. She decided to change the subject.

“Have you gotten caught up on all your mail?”

He looked at her in surprise. “My what? Yeah, my mother forwarded everything to me in Florida. She was staying at Gamma’s while we were gone.” He continued to stare out the window. He hated himself for it, but before, when he was staring, he’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Now that he knew she didn’t even work there anymore, he was staring, remembering the way she used to lean against the wall with her arms wrapped around her little body, cigarette in one hand, fist of the other balled up against the cold.

“Really? She forwarded everything to you?”

He looked at her confused now. What the hell did his mail have to do with anything?

“Yeah, why?”

Susan chose her words carefully. “Because I think Abby wrote to you while you were gone. I was just wondering if you’d gotten any letters from her.”

Carter stared at Susan. Abby had written to him?

“No, there was nothing from her.”

“Hmm. That’s weird.”

Carter looked out the window again and then said tightly, “I have to get going, Suse. Thanks for coffee. Tell Weaver I’ll see her next week.”

In a flash he was gone. Susan took another sip of coffee. She hope she’d done the right thing.