TITLE: Momentary Lapse (Part 14 of `In Spite Of Me)

AUTHOR: Ceri

EMAIL: ceriellis@yahoo.com

CATEGORY: JC

RATING: Universal

SPOILERS: None.

ARCHIVE: Sure, just ask

DISCLAIMER: They are not mine. The ideas, however, are products of my depraved imagination. SUMMARY: Carter succumbs, once more, to the green eyed monsters.

Momentary Lapse

Warm strips of sunlight fell across the room, accompanied by a light breeze drifting in from the window. The air was fresh, the atmosphere almost unreal as they sat together, watching the screen with intent eyes. The image did not move much, the small changes repeated over and over, the faint thudding accompanying it perfectly.

He had never felt so happy.

His grip around her shoulders tightened as the smile on his face grew. She glanced up at him briefly, offering him an equally ecstatic grin before turning back to the screen. Both their heads tilted to the right to study the image carefully, then to the left. Neither wanted to tear their eyes away in case it would all disappear.

Finally, the tape stopped running with a satisfied whirr and a click. The screen fell black once more, and Carter leaned forward to pull the tape from the VCR.

"So that's the baby."

Abby sighed contentedly, leaning in to his embrace. "I don't think I can wait eight months."

Carter nodded in agreement, about to reply before something else hit him - a month. They had split up just under a month ago - though it had felt like centuries, it had only been 28 and a half days. He quickly shook his head. No. Don't think those thoughts.

"It'll fly by, you'll see," he said at last, kissing the top of her head tenderly. Of course, now he had started with the paranoid doubts, he couldn't force them from his head. Had she and Luka -

"I wonder if it's a boy or a girl," Abby wondered aloud, interrupting his case of the green eyed monsters. "I don't like calling it `it`. It sounds so...well, you know...impersonal."

"Like Cousin It?" Carter asked, suddenly feeling totally detached from the conversation and off in his own little world, where Luka and Abby had had sex the moment she had left his apartment a month ago, and were now the proud parents of a tiny, dark-haired child with a smoking habit and homicidal tendencies, just like it's parents.

"Yeah...I hadn't thought of it that way...but yeah..."

"So make up a name," he shrugged, glancing down at her warily. "A trans- gender name."

There was a pause as Carter wondered what Croatian trans-gender names there were, and finally Abby spoke up again. "How about: George?"

Carter frowned. "How is that trans-gender?"

"You know - George is a guys name, but also short for Georgia or Georgina..." Abby sighed dramatically. "Well what do *you* suggest?"

"Skywalker," he responded immediately.

"There is now way in hell we are naming this child after a frickin' Jedi," she grinned, sitting up and fixing him with a mock-steely stare. "How about....Satine? Christian? Harry? Sally? Neo - "

"Are you just listing characters from your favourite films?" he interrupted with a small smile. He paused. "Baby."

"That's original."

"No...like in Dirty Dancing...and it *is* a baby...it makes sense..."

Abby smiled broadly, leaning forward to catch his lips with a kiss. "You have some good ideas, you know, John Carter."

He smiled, all thoughts of Croatian bloodlines momentarily forgotten. "You mean aside from Star Wars characters?"

She smirked. "If only you had such a good light saber..."

He groaned. "That was abysmal, Abby - "

"I thought it was funny!"

"Sure, you're a regular stand-up comedienne."

"And when did you become Woody Allen?"

"I've always had a natural aptitude for all things comedic."

They shared a smile, and leaned in for another kiss. Their lips met, another kiss, another mind-blowing kiss. Each one seemed to wipe out the previous ones, setting a new record every time. When they finally pulled apart, as reluctant as ever, Carter's heart was pounding, his eyes fixed on the beautiful woman in front of him.

"You're gonna make a brilliant mom."

*****

He wasn't sure when he had lost all ability for reasonable thought, but it had certainly deserted him.

Four weeks had passed by without a second thought to the true parentage of the child growing inside Abby's womb - all thoughts had been on nurseries and cribs and baby showers and morning sickness. In fact, he had completely dismissed his theory of Croatian DNA, right up until the moment he spotted them.

Naturally, it all looked perfectly innocent. Well, it would do wouldn't it. It was pretty common knowledge now that Abby and Carter were an `item`, with the spurned lovers Deb and Luka glowering in the background. But suddenly, without warning, Abby and Luka were friends again.

At first, it was just the odd smile and quick chat in passing. Then, it was invitations for orange juice - caffeine being strictly off limits - and a talk. And finally, long, private discussions in exam rooms.

The latter being the thing that played on his mind the most.

Now he thought about it, it all fell in to place. Well, it didn't really, but it made enough sense in his somewhat warped mind to gain credibility.

Oh God. She was having Luka's kid. She was having *Luka's* kid. She -

"John?"

Carter spun around, TV remote in his hand, turning away from the monotone infomercials to face the woman of his dreams. The woman he loved more than life itself. The woman who was carrying another man's child. Oh God.

"Hey," he responded weakly, setting the remote down and scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

Instantly she was concerned, stepping forward to grasp his hands in her own. "Are you okay?"

Normally Carter would've taken this opportunity to lie, and ignore the problem. But he couldn't ignore this. It was too huge. And it would lurk in the back of his mind like a cancer until he finally brought it to life, and either banished it with the happy truth, or let it grow with the miserable truth.

Here was hoping for the former.

"Did you sleep with Luka after we broke up?"

Her face froze in a frown, staring at him uncertainly as if not sure whether he was joking or not. When she determined that he *wasn't* joking, she took an abrupt step back.

"No."

" - Because if you were, I should know, and we can get a DNA test, and - "

"What?!" she interrupted angrily - hormones clearly were flying around unadulterated. "What the hell are you implying?"

Yeah, this really was as awkward and uncomfortable as he thought it would be. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to think of a reply that would transform all this in to a reasonable, sensible discussion.

"I just think if Luka's the father - "

He didn't have the chance to continue. She walked straight past him and out the front door, the slam that followed echoing absently around his apartment.

If that wasn't an answer, he didn't know what was.

*****

Three hours later, and she hadn't reappeared. Thoughts flew through his head - she had gone to work. She had gone for a walk. She had gone to Luka's. Oh, great. Had he just pushed her, kicking and screaming, back in to the arms of the Croatian Crudbucket?

Of course, if Luka really *was* the father, then it would be a convenient enough excuse. Blame it on Carter, she would say. He was the one who broke us up. Nice enough for them that they could raise their spawn in peace. Thoughts like these were slowly driving him mad.

Well, more mad than he already was anyway.

As the phone started to ring, he stood up, picking his way across the bedroom. Abby's clothes were strewn across the floor, including some newly purchased maternity wear. He gulped. Okay, the guilt had arrived.

But what if he had been right? What if the baby really was Luka's?

God. He didn't know what he'd do with himself if the baby wasn’t his own...judging from his past dealings with jealousy, he'd either shack up with Deb or someone who meant equally as much to him and with whom he was eager to ruin a friendship.

Deb would probably be willing to help anyway.

But he didn't want Deb. He wanted Abby, he wanted to raise their child together, he wanted to get married, he wanted to live happily ever after like in the Disney films.

If only life were like Disney films. They'd be so much better - not to mention more interesting.

The ringing of the telephone had become annoyingly persistent as he reached the lounge, and he picked it up quickly. All thoughts of Disney, Luka, and Deb were banished from his mind as he recognized the voice.

"John? It's Kerry."

Carter frowned, checking his watch. "Am I supposed to be at work? I thought I wasn't on till noon - "

"No, John," she responded softly. There was a pause. "It's Abby."

Carter froze, his eyes ceasing their vague wandering and landing on the tape of the sonogram.

"She had a miscarriage."

*****