CHAPTER THREE - we're with Carter on this one

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"Chuny, I need a chest X-Ray in 3 and an ultrasound"
Carter sighed as he shuffled through the charts at admin. He'd only been
back a couple of hours and it seemed like an eternity.
Like an eternity since he'd seen Abby. He sighed again.
Susan appeared, picking up a chart and staring at him over the top of it. He
knew she was - he could see her out the corner of his eye.
"What ?" he asked, not even looking at her.
"She's here" she said, watching him eagerly
Carter looked up at Susan.

She was here. Oh God........of course she was here. She works here.

Pretending to look back at his chart he replied curtly
"Who's here?"
Susan let out a short laugh, and rolling her eyes said
"Funny - that's exactly what she said about you"
That caught his attention
"She did?"
Susan giggled "Don't you mean WHO did?"
She started to wander off, just beginning to enjoy herself as John caught up
with her
"Susan... what did she say about me?"
Susan stopped, and looked at him as if figuring something out.
"Oh I get it..." she said with a coy smile on her face "What happened? - you
kiss her?"
Carter swallowed and nodded.
"But you didn't tell her how you felt?"
Carter swallowed again.
"And she didn't tell you?"
Carter just continued to look at his friend, feeling like a kid getting "put
straight" by his mother.
"And then you vanish for two weeks .... "
Carter bit his lip and scratched his head "I admit the timing was bad....."
"It stinks Carter"
He just stood there, looking at her, waiting for her to tell him what to do.
"So go talk to her already !"

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Coffee - that's what I need. A nice dose of caffeine to wake me up, and then
I'll go find her, tell her I'm madly in love with her, sweep her up in my
arms, and everything will be okay.

Of course it never crossed his mind that she might actually BE in the
lounge.
But there she was, standing by her locker with her back to him.

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"Hey"
I almost wince at how surprised I sound. God, my voice sound high
sometimes.....
She turns around, and I almost feel like I forgot how beautiful she is. I
notice her hair is wavier than before.
My hands suddenly feel clammy, and words stick in my throat - I honestly
don't know what the hell to say next.
For a second, I catch the same mixture of fear and surprise in her face, but
it disappears quickly and is replaced by a stunning smile that takes my
breath away.
She never smiles like that. She should smile like that more often.

I will myself to speak, but she saves me.
"Nice sun-tan" she pops out, cheekily, cocking her head to one side.
"I like your hair" Is the best I can do, she seems taken aback, almost
embarrassed I even noticed.
"Well I heard you had a thing about perms"
This makes me snigger and she giggles at herself, or maybe the thought of me
with a perm.
And I know now. Right now, I know I love her. I am completely in love with
you Abby.
But does she love me?

"How's your mom and dad?"
Ouch, a subject I don't want to get into "Not good.....ah....but thank you
for asking"
"anytime"

whoah, dejavu - the night Sobricki was brought in. She asked me if I was
going to be alright, and I was a bastard. I was cold, and hard, and I
snapped at her.
"but thank you for asking" I said, as she shouted after me "anytime"
Oh God - she's already told me how she feels. In her own way she's told me.
By the river - sure, she didn't confess her love, but she was trying to get
through, and i didn't make it easy for her. She told me when she put her
hand against my face outside the nightclub, but I just told myself it was
the drink. She told me when she tried to protect me from Sobricki, when she
tried to stop me getting hurt. And what did I do? - I told her I didn't want
to be her friend anymore. I told her I'd settle for someone else.

Tell her the truth, tell her something, anything.

"I missed you"
she answers quickly "why?"
She's looking at her feet now, waiting for me to say it.
What the hell am I supposed to say?
I don't have to say anything, she lets me off, she backs down.
"Listen, John, Weaver's gonna kill me, I've got to get back to work"
"Right, but I'll catch you later yeah?"
"Sure"
She walks passed me, but stops in the doorway
"I'm glad you're back"
I smile at her as she disappears out the door.

Well that didn't go TOO badly.
Yeah? so why the hell do I feel like I blew my chance?
I consider putting my head through the wall, but kick the lockers instead.
It's okay, I tell myself.
I'll catch her later.
It's going to be okay...............

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END OF CHAPTER 3

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