translations at bottom, yo.

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Chapter 3 --- Tydus is DOOMED

            "Sai, dequ og!"

            "Wha--?" Tydus mumbled.

            "Y zeyr, dequ og!" the woman repeated.

            Tydus opened his eyes.  There were a few men standing around, and the young woman.  They were on the deck of a small ship in the middle of some ocean.  It was night, but several floodlights were on and Tydus could see everything clearly.  One of the men was trying to get his attention.

            "Nev iuo zdib?" he asked.  Tydus gave him a blank look.  "Zdib, iaes? Zdib?" the man continued, waving his arms in a way that resembled the breaststroke, "Ajjynyavl bucabavl uj epbz evr hamz yv lsa delap?"

            "I'm no good at sharades," Tydus remarked.

            "He wants to know if you can swim," said the woman.

            "Hey you can speak English?" asked Tydus, "That's the most normal thing to happen to me in days!"

            "Look, if you help us, you can stay and we'll feed you."

            "Food?!  Can I have that now?"

            "No, work first."

            "Phooey," said Tydus, "Fine.  So what's your name?"

            "Most definitely it is Rikku.  I need you to accompany me underwater to a wrecked ship.  We need the power from it to run our own."

            "Evr ta koynq etuol yl!" added the man.

            "Okay then.  For food!" cried Tydus, and he jumped into the water.  Rikku followed.  Tydus soon found out that the water was infested with piranhas.  As a curious coincidence, they carried grenades, which was good because Rikku was running low.

            Many battles and a few level ups later and they had reached the sunken ship.  Rikku found a hatch, but the controls were broken.

            "Where I'm from, we pound things that don’t work," said Tydus, and he started pounding the controls.  Rikku was greatly surprised to hear the gears start turning as the hatch opened.  They swam through into more ruins.  Tydus was wondering if there was anything more to this place than rubble and ruin.

            They swam down corridors covered in seaweed until they reached the power room.  Tydus once more attacked the machines with a barrage of punches and kicks.  The generator spat lightning everywhere, but lights flickered on and a faint hum emanated from everything.

            "That doesn't seem very safe…" Tydus noted.

            "But it's very aesthetically pleasing," Rikku countered.

            They swam back toward the hatch, but in one of the rooms there was something new, a very large and squid-like something.

            "Wha-hey!" exclaimed Tydus as they prepared for battle.

            Rikku chucked grenades like a crazy man in a shot-put competition, and Tydus used his overdrive, which was not nearly as impressive as Auron's.  According to his guide, it would get cooler the more he used it.  Tros kicked the bucket and disappeared in a cloud of pyre-flies.

            The rest of the crew joined them shortly, and within no time they had refueled the ship and were on their way to wherever it was they were going.

            The odd group of people was so grateful to Tydus for helping them that he got to sleep on deck.  It was dawn before Rikku came up from below deck, carrying what smelled like the most wonderful food in the world.  In fact, it was just a bunch of freeze-dried space food, but Tydus hadn't eaten in days.

            "Smells god-like!" said Tydus.

            "I'll tell Ropp you liked his 'cooking,'" Rikku replied as Tydus positively gorged himself in the TV diner.

            With the immense hunger gone Tydus's mind was prepared to think.  It thought about all that had happened recently, then decided that it really didn’t feel like thinking anymore.

            "So who are you?" Rikku asked.

            "Oh, poo," thought Tydus's mind.  Tydus said, "My name's Tydus, and I'm the star player of the blitzball team the Zanarkand Abes.  My old man thinks I'm a weak little crybaby, but he's dead so he can stuff it."

            "Wait, you said you were on a Zanarkand blitzball team?"

            "Yeah, something wrong with that?  You're not from the Duggles team, are you?"

            "Is your head okay?  Zanarkand has been a ruin for 1,000 years, remember?  It hasn't had so much as a garbage committee since then."

            "What?  But the guide said I was in Zanarkand, and everyone else said so, too.  I was just playing a nice game of blitzball when a giant sphere comes and lays waste to all of city.  Worst of all, Auron showed up and was being a jerk like he always is, then he got us sucked into the sphere and it dropped me off where you found me, all alone, too!"

            Rikku stood there and thought a bit.  Then she said, "Sin.  I think the sphere thing you described was Sin.  You must have gotten too close to Sin.  That makes your head funny sometimes.  It probably made you think you were there when it destroyed Zanarkand 1,000 years ago."

            "This is probably all Auron's fault.  He practically fed me to, uh, Sin, is it?"

            "Just relax, people who get close to Sin sometimes get a little insane in the membrane, but I'm sure you'll get better.  How about we take you to Luca.  That place is big on blitzball, maybe you'll find the team you really belong to."

            "Whatever," Tydus mumbled.  He was too busy thinking of all the nasty things he was going to do to Auron if he ever found him.  "So, what was that language you guys were speaking?"

            "Wow, you're really out of it!  We're Al Bhed, and that was our language.  It's not that hard to learn.  Just switch the letters with other letters and you have it.  Try it!"

            "Lsel'z etzopr!Dsel lse lanq?!" said Tydus, "Sai, Y'b zraeqyvm Eh Tsar!"

            "Good, except Al Bhed is just Al Bhed."

            "Oh, then Y'b zraeqyvm Al Bhed!"

            "Yes, that's nice…"

Suddenly, the water a short ways away exploded, spraying them with water.

            "Aiiiiee!" screamed Tydus.

            "Sin!" screamed the Al Bhed.

            Sin was not really a giant sphere of water now, but a more aquatic monster.  It was also just as big as before, and when it rammed into the ship the force was so strong that it knocked Tydus overboard.

            "Aiiiiee!" he screamed again, and was knocked out once more.

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The great dialogue mysteries unveiled!

Translations:

Sai, dequ og = Hey, wake up

Y zeyr = I said

Nev iuo zdib = Can you swim

iaes = yeah

Ajjynyavl bucabavl uj epbz evr hamz yv lsa delap = Efficient movement of arms and legs in the water

Evr ta koynq etuol yl = And be quick about it

Lsel'z etzopr = That's stupid

Dsel lse lanq = What the heck

Sai, Y'b zraeqyvm Eh Tsar = Hey, I'm speaking Al Bhed