Chapter 8 --- Anima Is GOD

            Luca, though less than a tenth of Zanarkand's size, was the biggest hunk of civilization Tydus had seen in one thousand years.  There were no neon lights or big black buildings, but rather swooping structures that were very colorful and curvy.  The place was, of course, centered around spheres.  Tydus found out that "the sphere" was the equivalent of TV.  When the S.S. Winno arrived at Dock 2 they could hear announcers readying the people of Luca for the amazing tournament that was soon to come.

            "Hello folks, and what a lovely day it is in Luca!" said Bobba the announcer.

            "Yes, indeed, and what splendid weather we're having!" added Jimma.

            "It is truly pristine!" continued Bobba.

            "Like a postcard!"

            "…"

            "Anyway," said Jimma, grinning evilly at Bobba, "All the teams are coming in!  In Dock 1 are the Ronso Fangs!  They're looking awfully blue today, aren't they, Bobba?"

            "Whatever, Jimma," Bobba said tersely, but then put the cheer back in, "Dock 5 is preparing a soft landing pad.  It seems the Guados have a new traveling fad called the "cannon" which the Guado Glories will be using.  I have my doubts.  And in Dock 4 come the Al Bhed Psyches.  I think Wakka plans to be in this tournament, so watch out, guys!"

            "And in Dock 2, the S.S. Winno seems brimming full of blitzball teams!  First off are the Kilika Beasts.  Their town was recently torn to shreds by Sin, no thanks to those losers on the S.S. Liki.  Cheer up, fellas, there's a game to play!"

            "Hoo boy, look who decided to drag their sorry asses out of Besaid to compete!  The biggest losers in the world: the Besaid Aurochs!  And yes, there's Wakka, keep him away from Dock 4!  And it looks like they have a new player on the team.  Ooh, he's staring daggers at us, Jimma!  Don't lose too bad, Aurochs!"

            Tydus wanted to throw bricks at them, but he wasn't sure just where they were in Luca.

            "And the last and best of the teams, the Luca Goers!  Aren't they just superior in every way?  Of course they are!  Woot!  Looks like Luca's getting the cup again!"  Jimma positively drooled, "Hey!  Where'd that guy get those bricks?"

            Tydus was not going to stand for these biased announcers, and had started throwing bricks every which way.  Wakka decided to join him, only he was aiming at Dock 4.  They eventually stopped because Dock 3 was complaining, and Maester Mika was coming in there.  Yuna and company went over to see him.

            There was a large crowd around Dock 3, but Yuna used her power of popularity to make room for them.

            "So what's a Maester?" asked Tydus while they waited.

            Wakka answered, "Maesters lead all of Spira.  Maester Mika's been at it for over fifty years."

            "That's still piddly compared to my one thousand plus years!"

            "Give it a rest.  Look, here he comes!"

            But the person who got off the ship did not look to be over 30.  "It's the half-Guado Maester Seymour," explained Wakka.

            "Isn't that the guy we ki-"

            "Shut up, Tydus." Wakka said firmly.

            "Hello," said Seymour, addressing the crowd.  His voice was calm and soft, but whether it was the voice, the way he dressed, or the creepy veins and long claws, Tydus was positive that he was evil, and it wasn't just because the guide said so.  Seymour continued, "My father, Maester Jyscal Guado, uh, died recently so now I am the Maester of the Guados!  And I will do my best to uphold, er, peace and… and prosperity.  Yes."  For good measure, he decided to laugh, "Muah-hahahahahaha!"

            "Come on, Wakka!  It's so obvious!" said Tydus.

            "No, Tydus.  Just no."

            Then an old geezer, hunched over with age and leaning heavily on a guard, limped off the ship onto Dock 3.

            "Hello," Maester Mika said weakly, "I'd say more, but it's time for my nap now."  The guard led him through the crowd and away toward the stadium.  Tydus was staring openly.

            "Well, he's got my vote," said Tydus sarcastically.

            "Maesters aren't elected," Lulu said scathingly.

            "Doesn't that just take the biscuit!"

            "I thought I told you to shut up," said Wakka, "Let's go to our locker room."

            When the team got there Wakka said, "Okay, who still doesn't know how to play blitzball?  I have some extremely lengthy tutorials on how to play if anyone would like to view them.  Letty?  Keepa?"

            Letty and Keepa hung their heads sheepishly.

            "Tydus?"

            "What?  I'm a star blitzball player!  Why would I not know how to play?"

            "Right…"

            Then Yuna walked into the room followed by Lulu and Kimahri.  She said, "Hey, some people said they saw Sir Auron eating an extra large meat lover's pizza down at the café!"

             Tydus jerked up from the bench on which he had been sitting.  "Auron?!"

            "Yes, we should go try to find him, he may know where Sir Jeckt is."

            "Great!  That's two people I can cross off my list of people to kill!"

            "Is this something in your so called 'guide?'"

            "Uh… yes.  Yes it is."

            "Then let's go!"

            Wakka and the rest of the team stayed at the stadium because their match with the Al Bhed Psyches was very soon.  Lulu stayed for moral support.  Everyone else headed toward the café.

            Tydus burst through the doors of the café, ready for murder.  Yuna and Kimahri entered to see a very letdown look on Tydus's face.

            "He's not here," Tydus said dejectedly.

            "Hey, Kimahri," goaded a couple of tough-looking Ronsos standing in a corner of the room.

            "…" Kimahri replied, and he walked over to them.  Tydus had thought that Kimahri was big, but next to the other two he was quite small.  Tydus also noticed that they had complete horns whereas Kimahri's was broken.

            "Yenke and Beeran like to give the distinct impression that Ronsos are barbaric savages, so Yenke and Beeran will address themselves in third person," said Yenke.

            "…" Kimahri scoffed.

            "Maybe he really is just mute," thought Tydus.

            "Your silence offends Beeran," growled Biran.

            "We shall fight!" Yenke agreed.

            "…" said Kimahri angrily.

            Yenke gave Kimahri an upper cut.  Then Kimahri hit Biran in the ribs.  This continued until Tydus got bored with it and started looking around.

            "Hey, Yuna's gone!" he observed.

            Kimahri stopped fighting and got socked in the stomach.  He limped away to save Yuna from whatever peril might have befallen her, while trying to stop the blood leakage on several parts of his body.  Tydus struggled to assist the small, but still large, Ronso out of the café.

            "Ah-ha-ha!  Kimahri runs away from Yenke and Beeran because he can't handle two giant Ronsos!  Ha ha!" Yenke and Biran called after them.

            Tydus was not sure exactly where they should look for Yuna, but luckily Lulu arrived to jump-start the plot.  "The Al Bhed have kidnapped Yuna and demand that Wakka should throw the game if we want her back!"

            "Oh, yeah!  The game!  How's it going?" asked Tydus.

            "The game?!  It's going badly, but what's more important is Yuna!"

            "I see…" he replied, "Hey! How did we totally miss them kidnapping her?!"

            "Yes, this is your fault!"

            "Kimahri's the one who put himself ahead of Yuna!"

            They glared at Kimahri, who was whimpering quietly while holding his guts in with one hand.  At this he looked down in shame.

            They ran off to the stadium and were heading toward Dock 4 when they were attacked by small robots.  They were jerking and shooting sparks everywhere.

            "What sorry-looking robots," said Tydus.  Then one attacked him.  "Ow!  What are these?"

            "They're machina.  The Al Bhed use them," Lulu explained, then used Thunder to kill them all.  They had to fight a lot of machina, but they finally reach Dock 4.  The Al Bhed ship made an effort to get away, but Tydus, Kimahri, and Lulu were already on board.  What they saw did not really surprise them.  Yuna was standing amid complete destruction.  Al Bhed were lying all over moaning or unconscious, and there was a huge mangled machine leaking oil at one end.  Tydus noticed what could only have been Ifrit heading back into the ground.

            "I think they forgot what summoners summon," Yuna observed.  "What are you looking for?"

            Tydus was looking around at all the Al Bhed's faces.

            "Before Wakka found me I was on an Al Bhed ship.  They were really nice and gave me food!  But this isn't that ship."

            "Was one of them Cid?"

            "I don't know.  The only one who spoke English was Rikku.  After I learned to speak Al Bhed I was thrown off the ship while bravely fighting Sin when it attacked us, so I couldn't get anyone else's name.  Why do you want to know?"

            "Well, Cid's my uncle, and I haven't seen him in a while.  I think I have a cousin named Rikku, but if they were attacked by Sin…"

            "You're Al Bhed?"

            "Half Al Bhed.  Make sure Wakka doesn't find out."

            "Speaking of Wakka," said Lulu, "I need to tell him Yuna's safe."

            "So he can start trying to win?" asked Tydus.

            "So that he might ease up on the beating he's giving the Al Bhed Psyches," Lulu corrected.  She sent up a signal.

            "I see…"

            Back in the locker room the team was celebrating the bizarre phenomenon called victory, and Wakka was limping around with a satisfied grin.

            "What's up with your leg, Wakka?" asked Tydus.

            "I pulled a muscle when I was kicking one of the Psyches."

            "I'm sorry…"

            "Hey, don't get used to winning.  You all suck and we have to play the Luca Goers for first place next."

            "… yay?" said the Aurochs.

            Botta raised his hand timidly, "Am I on the bench?"  Several teammates snickered.

            "Well, no," said Wakka with an amused grin, "I'm going to sit out 'cuz my leg's not doing to well.  Tydus will be playing in my place."

            "Woot!" said Tydus.  He looked at his guide.  "Hey!  This thing says we're doomed to lose because the Luca Goers are so awesome.  It must have been made in Luca!"

            The others had stopped listening to these odd comments.  Yuna, Lulu, and Kimahri left the locker room to find good seats in the stadium.  Wakka decided that it was a good time to take a nap.  The team made their way to the blitzball sphere.  Once inside, the game started.  The Aurochs offense downright sucked, and the defense too, actually.  Tydus tried to switch to manual, but it was too late, and they lost.

            Tydus pressed "restart."

            The Aurochs lost again.

            Tydus pressed "restart" again.

             The Aurochs lost again.

            Tydus pressed "restart" again.

The Aurochs lost again.

            Tydus pressed "restart" again.

            By this time Tydus was beginning to notice a bizarre hole in the Goers' brains.  When an Auroch back-fielder had the ball and didn't move beyond a certain point the Goers, rather than mob the blitzer, would go back to their positions and start swimming in circles out of boredom.  Tydus almost couldn't stop laughing.  All he had to do was wait for a chance to do the Jeckt Shot, then hide the ball with Jassu or Botta and wait for the time to run out.  This he did, and by the time the last buzzer sounded it was 1 to 0 with the Besaid Aurochs as the winners.  "Take that, you stupid guide!" thought Tydus.

            "Who'da thunk it?" said Bobba the announcer energetically, "We must be in a strong Improbability Field or something because the Aurochs have just won the tournament!"

            Jimma added, "What's more, the Luca Goers have lost!  How bizarre!"

            "Ow!" said Bobba, "I think that Auroch found us!"

            Tydus was indeed throwing bricks.

            Wakka swam into the blitzball sphere to celebrate with the team.  "Ride On Shooting Star" by the Pillows was blasting out of the stadium's speakers.

            "Woot!  Our victory song!" said Wakka, "'Ride on shooting star!  Something da da dum da!'  I was made in Japan, why can't I speak Japanese?!"

            Tydus threw a brick at him.

            The rest of the team got bored and left the sphere pool.  The Luca Goers had already left to go yell at their agent.  Wakka and Tydus were still in the sphere when the music stopped and they could hear screams coming from outside.  The water made things too blurry for them to see what was happening.

            Fiends were suddenly swimming inside the blitzball sphere.  Wakka and Tydus had to fight their way out of the water.  When they got out they saw utter chaos.  There were various types of fiends all over terrorizing the blitz fans.  Tydus spotted someone in red who looked suspiciously familiar…

            Auron was standing in one of the aisles in the stands.  In front of him was a vicious-looking beast with strong legs and a face that looked like it had run into a brick wall.  It growled at and menaced Auron.  Auron just took a pull at his beer keg. The monster made to slash at him, but he dodged then killed it with a mighty swing of his Katana.

            Tydus boiled with rage by the time he and Wakka had caught up to him.  "Auron, you slime!" he started, but he couldn’t get any further with his insults because a bigger, winged fiend had attracted his attention.  The three would have to fight together!

            Unfortunately, that wouldn't work.  Wakka used his Dark Attack, so they didn't have to worry about getting hit, but Tydus was using this to go after Auron instead of the fiend.  The fiend really did need to be killed, so Auron had to ignore this.  Wakka helped by using Dark Attack on Tydus.  Auron finally managed to kill the creature but many more fiends were waiting to strike.

            Wakka was worried about how they were going to kill all of them.  Tydus was thinking about how much he would enjoy killing Auron once the Darkness wore off.  Auron was thinking about the nice hot chocolate he had had at Luca's café that morning.

            Their attention was diverted once again to the small ceremonial platform at the other side of the stadium by people's gasps and pointing.  The blitzball sphere had been drained and they could see clearly see Maester Seymour summoning an aeon using only his hands.  He looked so calm and smug that for a moment some of Tydus's anger was switched from Auron to him, but Tydus didn't have any particular reason to hate him… yet.

            As Maester Seymour finished the summoning, the clear blue sky turned dark red and cloudy.  Out of the sky shot a vicious hook, which dove into the ground at the center of the stadium and pulled out a gigantic hideous aeon.

            It was like a mummy in an open sarcophagus.  Chains were hung about it like Christmas decorations and kept it's disgusting arms pinned across its front.  Around its neck hung a religious symbol that only seemed to add to the horror that was Anima.  It let out a ghastly howl that spoke of centuries of pain.  Then it set to the task of exterminating every fiend in the stadium.  A nasty pressure fell as its one eye glowed with menace and several fiends puffed into pyreflies.  The rest followed them like so much popcorn.  Then Anima was gone, and Maester Seymour went inside.

            "You know," Tydus said conversationally to Wakka, "I think this says something about his personality."

            "Tydus," Wakka warned.

            They found the rest of the group, but not before Tydus remembered how much he hated Auron.  The result was that "Sir" Auron's first impression was that of having a very unkempt lifestyle.  Auron decided that he should get Tydus off his back, literally, before he did anything concerning the group.  He walked off, followed by Tydus, with everyone staring after them.

            He stopped at the docks.  "Hello, Tydus."

            "RAWR!" growled Tydus.  Auron had to fend off another onslaught from the Brotherhood, which has not been mentioned hitherto, but may be later.

            "You are suck a jerk!" said Tydus with mounds of hatred, "All the bad things that have happened to me are your fault!  What did I ever do to you?!"

            "Well, it's really all Jeckt's fault-"

            "I knew it!"

            "He asked me to fetch you from… Zanarkand, so that you could kill him."

            "What?  That's awesome!  But, that strikes me as odd."

            "Well, funny thing, me, Braska, and him defeated Sin ten years ago, and now he's Sin.  From what he's told it's really the pits.  He wants you to put him out of his misery."

            "…" Tydus gaped.  "I hate it when you tell me things."

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Man, I hope that's long enough.  Anyway, I have nothing else written, at all, and I don’t remember anything about Mi'ihen Highroad, so the next chapter might be a while.

Improbability Fields are copyright Douglas Adams… I think,  Ride On Shooting Star is copyright the Pillows,  and FFX and its stuff is copyright… Square-Enix?  What is that?

^^