DELAYING / DISTRACTING SELF-INJURY Involving other people... It really helps to tell someone if you are feeling fragile. If you are upset they can stay with you and distract you by talking about other things, keeping you company, or tickling you! If you are feeling sad and can find a friend, cuddle them and focus on how their arms feel... friends are there to support us. Please don't feel guilty or scared of asking for help because putting yourself in their position, you know you'd do the same for them. Anything they go through you'd go through with them and support them... you deserve that too! More on talking to people about self-harm. If no-one can physically be there, it can help to talk to a familiar voice on the phone. Calling a friend, counsellor or therapist can help you cope... see the page of helplines for useful contacts. Making your own list of useful numbers will help... as long as you make sure you USE IT! Keeping in touch with other people who are fighting the same fight will let you know that people understand how you are feeling. Web-groups or message boards can be helpful, but also quite upsetting if you end up just reading about all these other people having a hard time... remember that the world isn't always like that, and that there are lots of good things in life too! On that note, stay away from people who are upsetting you... if someone else is having a hard time too it is often better for you to take time out from each other. This IS NOT selfish because you can't help someone else cope if you are unhappy too. The people you choose to be with at a time of 'crisis' don't need to fully understand what you are going through, just be there to listen to you or hold your hand. If you are in your teenage years, adults such as teachers, parents (your own or other peoples!) can often be the most safe and supportive people to be around. Do something positive for someone else... Help someone around you Write letters to your friends telling them what you like about them, just to cheer someone up that you havent seen for a while Do volunteer work- ok this is difficult to find as an immediate distraction, but i find that a few hours making craft things with kids keeps me busy and makes me smile! If you aren't near any people you know, just being in a public place may help you feel less isolated. Involving activities Try using activities to occupy your mind... * Get rid of anything you could use to harm yourself (if possible) * Watch your fav kiddie video * Go for a drive * Listen to music * Read a book * Make your favourite meal/ Eat your favourite food * Go for a walk * Tidy your room/ the house * Go shopping * Anything else that may calm you down * Recite the alphabet backwards, or count down from a huge number, but stop if it gets too frustrating * Make a lot of *NOISE!* * Do something fun! OK so this may sound really weird... but plucking my eyebrows and even underarm hair does really work! Alternative Visuals * Draw lines with a red pen * Draw slashing lines on paper * Draw red lines and drip water on them Express your destructive feelings... * Slam doors * Punch or scream into pillows * Break something safe * Rip up an old cassette and smash the box * Tear up old magazines/ phone book/ fabric Non- Destructive Sensation Producers... * Squeeze ice- cubes or hold them against your arm * Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it * Ride a bike fast and far (only if ur good at it! If not...) * Run as fast as you can * Take a shower and scrub your skin with a cloth/ brush |
| Thoughts Try and acknowledge the fact that you feel bad, and to commit yourself to tolerating it, rather than fighting your emotions. Keep reinforcing the idea that although you currently feel bad, the feeling will pass. Constantly reminding yourself that you are capable of putting up with the emotional pain, and accepting this prevents pain becoming suffering. Listen to what your mind needs at this point in time to help you get through... don't give up! Focus on finding little things to do to get you through the moment rather than trying to 'fix' the whole situation. * Try not to dwell on painful memories * Make a reality checklist- the date the time, where you are, what you can physically feel, what you can hear etc. Be aware of what is around you to ground yourself in the present. * Negociate with yourself- think of all the negative consequences if you were to harm. (e.g. You might have to go to hospital, you could hurt yourself more than you intend to, having to clear up the mess, problems of hiding scars, upsetting other peopl of they were to find out, and of course the fact that self- harm is *NOT* an affective mechanism of coping over time). * Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe- ask youself what you need. * Physically find a safer place to be * Identify what is hurting you so bad that you'd rather harm than feel it. What are you trying *not* to feel? * Stop thinking 'should-could-have-to' words, and try thinking 'what if..?' * Try to resist following old thinking patterns * Notice 'choices' versus 'dilemmas' * Try to create different (better!) emotions... watch a scary movie, listen to a silly song, watch your fav kiddie movie i.e. Toy Story, Finding Nemo, 101 Dalmations, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Little Mermaid... but NOT Bambi- its too sad! RELAXATION/ COMFORT... * Do relaxation exercises... - try using muscle relaxation. Tense and relax different muscle groups. Start with your arms and hands and work up to your face, then back down again. - use relaxation imagery; imagine your favourite place (real or imaginary) Imagine a room that you can go inside and shut the door on fear, sadness or frustration. - listen to relaxing music - exercise hard - have a hot bubble bath/ shower - drink hot chocolate - massage your neck, scalp, feet etc. (or get someone to do it for you ;) - breathe deeply - change facial expression * Brush/ comb your hair * Hold a cuddly toy/ cushion/ pillow * Lie in bed and listen to relaxing music * Touch something soft/ familiar/ safe Be Creative... * Take a break from mental processing... create and use safe places (beach/ rainforest/ desert/ meadow) * Make something (card for a friend/ jewellery) * Write what you are feeling... don't edit it just right down your stream of consiousness/ thoughts/ feelings. Then rip it up- tear up the feelings without damaging yourself. * Fimo/ Play-Doh/ Soft stuff... wonderful inventions! If you are lucky enough to have friends who also appreciate such things take them round and make things together! Take nice food too (i.e. strawberries, ice-cream..). If it's winter go and make a snowman! * Write in a diary * Write poems/ music * Identify if you can the source of your pain and write a letter (NOT SENT) to the object or person or problem upsetting you. * Paint your nails * Colour in colouring books * Draw * Look around the room, concentrating on one shape or colour and search for it with your eyes. MINDFULNESS Using mindfulness is b eing aware of your present moment, without thinking, reflecting or judging it. It's a skill that takes quite a bit of work, but you don't have to be perfect at it for it to have at least some benefit. Observe - notice what is going on around you without getting caught up in it. - let experiences, feelings and thoughts come into your mind and slip away again - control your attention, but not waht you see; don't push anything away or cling to it |
| Please email your ideas and i'll put them up here :) Thankyou ...* GOOD LUCK *... and * STAY SAFE * Your will can be stronger than the urge- take responsibility, hold out and you will be stronger for it. Beleive in yourself because other people care about you, and you make a difference to their lives. |
| COPING IN A CRISIS I have compiled a list of techniques that I have either found helpful, or that others have found helpful. This is by no means a definitive list- just use whatever works for you... but do it whole-heartedly, focussing all your attention on what you are doing. |
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| Other sensations Concenrating on positive sensation can help to keep you 'grounded' * VISION * Buy one beautiful flower * Make one space in a room pretty * Light a candle and watch the flame * Set a pretty place at the table * Go to a museum * Look at beautiful art in a gallery * Look at nature around you * Go out in the middle of the night and watch the stars * Walk to a pretty part of town * Paint your nails so they look pretty * Look at beautiful pictures in a book * Go to ballet/ dance performance * Be mindful of every sight that passes in front of you, not lingering on any * HEARING * Listen to beautiful/ soothing music * or invigorating, exciting music * pay attention to the sounds of nature (waves, birds, rain, leaves rustling) * Sing along to your favourite songs * Hum a soothing tune * Learn to play an instrument * Call an 0800 number to hear a human voice * Be mindful of sounds letting them go in one ear and out the other * SMELL * Use your favourite perfumes/ lotions * or try them in a store * Spray fragrance into the air * Light a scented candle or joss sticks * Put lemon oil on your furniture * Put potpourri in a bowl in your room * Boil cinnamen * Bake cookies, cake or bread * Smell flowers * Walk in a wooded area and minfully breathe in the fresh smells of nature * TASTE * Have a good meal * Have a favourite soothing drink such as hot chocolate or herbal tea (NO ALCOHOL) * treat yourself to dessert * Put whipped cream on your coffee * Sample flavours in a ice-cream store * Chew gum * Eat candy * Get a little bit of special food that you dont normally spend the money on, such as freshly squeezed orange juice * Really taste the food you eat; eat one thing mindfully * TOUCH * Take a bubble bath * Put clean sheets on the bed * Stroke an animal * Have a massage *Soak your feet * Put creamy lotion on your whole body * Put a cold compress on your forehead * Sit in a really comfy chair * Put on a silky scarf, shirt or dress * Brush your hair for a long time * Put on fleecy clothing/ buy a fleecy blanket * Hug someone * Experience whatever you are touching, notice that it is soothing |