"Help! She's unconscious, but she's breathing… Please Help!" He asks her, tears falling from his emerald eyes. The secretary nods and gets the nurses to come to him. He watches helplessly as they swiftly take her away.
We said we'd walk together baby come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we were walking a hand should slip free
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
The little blonde headed boy hid behind his mom. Her and a nice lady were talking. This world was new to him. It was his first day at 'Kindergarten'. He tuned them out as he looked around the room and saw other girls and boys around his age. One in particular drew his attention. Her jet-black hair cascading halfway down her back while her eyes were intent on the picture she was finger-painting. She was alone in a corner in the back. He looked up at his mom when she called his name. She bent down and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before saying goodbye and leaving. He turned around and looked at the lady his mom was talking to. She was a 'teacher'.
"So James… My name is Ms. Lily. What do you want to do today? We have blocks… colors… books… toys… finger-painting… Anything sound fun to you?" She asks with a pleasant smile on her face bending down to his eye level.
"Finger-painting sounds fun." He replies.
"Well then… finger-painting it is." She takes him over to the corner where the girl was. The girl looks up, her ash eyes sparkling. "James… This is Taryn… Taryn… This is James. He's going to finger-paint over here with you for a while… is that okay?"
"Sure Ms. Lily." The teacher gets the stuff for him and he soon gets to work.
"Whatcha painting?" He leans over and asks her. She giggles.
"A rainbow. You?"
"A turtle."
"It don't look like a turtle." He grins.
"Well you're looking at it wrong."
"Oh." They go back to their paintings. He looks over at her and she looks over at him. They start laughing. 'This was the beginning of a great friendship' he thought.
He paces back and forth in front of the window of the room where she was being held. As soon as they had set her down, she started having a heart attack. He was so worried. So very worried. He kept pacing, his hands clasped together in front of him, lips pressed against them, praying for her health.
"Lance!" A large, black muscular man runs up to him. His eyes snap up.
"Yeah?"
"How's she doing, man?" Lance shrugs and tosses a worried glance towards the room. The tears fell from his eyes, tracing the path of those that hadn't even dried yet. He ran a hand across his face.
"Not good, Lonnie. She had a heart attack."
"That's rough. We all love her. The guys are on their way." Lance nods before finally sitting down in one of the hard, plastic, gray chairs the ER had. It was going to be a while before he got any answers.
Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… An incessant tapping wakes the fourteen year old from his deep slumber. A groan escapes his lips as he looks at the clock. 2:14 AM. He rubs his face with both his hands, trying to wake his protesting eyes. He looks around the room, then at the window to find the source of the disturbance. A silhouetted figure hovered just out side his window. James sluggishly crawls out of bed, seeking the cause of the noise. He pushes back the curtains and opens the window to reveal a drenched Taryn.
"Ryn?"
"Jay." The timid voice answers.
"Ryn! Why are you out here? Let's get you inside." He pulls her inside and closes the window. His instinct takes over and he hugs her closely. He sets her on his bed before running to get a dry shirt. She goes into the rest room and changes. She comes back out and James motions for her to sit on his bed. He sits right by her, their feet hanging off the edge of the bed. He pushes a few strands of hair out of her hair. "What's wrong Ryn?"
"J. My parents. They're getting a divorce. Dad's moving to California and they're making me make a decision. Do I go with him or stay here?" She leans her head on his shoulder, hoping for some strength.
"Only you can make that decision, Ryn. Only you." He wraps his arm around her and pulls her towards him, her head still resting on his shoulder.
"I know, but you always know what to do." Taryn says against his shirt. He hugs her closer.
"Do the only thing you can. For tonight, let's get some sleep. Then tomorrow… we can talk it through and go to your parents. How's that?" She nods, picking her head up off of his shoulder. He stands up and motions for her to scoot up and lay down on his bed. Taryn does and he crawls up right beside her. Soon they are almost asleep.
"J?"
"hmm?"
"Thanks." She said simply.
"For what?"
"For being there."
"Don't need to thank me Ryn. That's what I'm here for. That's what I'll always be here for."
"Always?"
"Yeah. Always." She smiles a soft smile.
"Ditto. Goodnight J."
"Night Ryn." And with that, they fall asleep.
We swore we´d travel together darlin´, side by side
We´d help each other stay in stride
But each lover´s steps fall so differently
So I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
Lance sobbed in his chair quietly. The doctors weren't telling him anything and he wasn't allowed to be by her side yet. He wanted more then anything to go in there, hold her like he used to, and take away her pain. She was his "Ryn", his best friend.
"Lance!" A worn-out JC Chasez runs up to him followed closely by their bandmates: Joey Fatone, Justin Timberlake, and Chris Kirkpatrick. Lance's red eyes look up. Seeing them, he stands up and they each soon envelope him in a hug.
"How is she?" Asks Chris, once he lets go of his friend. Lance quickly looks over at the room where she was, then too the rest of the group. Doctors were still pouring over her. He crashes in his familiar plastic chair before answering.
"I don't know. Not good though. She doesn't have any color. Ryn's still very pale." The group goes silent. They were all worried for their friend. They were all close, just not as close as Lance and Taryn were. Joey, Justin, JC and Chris decide to sit down. The chairs were hard and didn't see how Lance had been sitting in one for the past three hours, but they knew that they had some time and cringed at the thought. She had to make it.
"Ryn… Don't cry… Please?" A 17-year-old James rubs his thumb underneath his friend's eyes, trying to erase her tears. This had been three weeks in the making.
"I just can't help it J. I'm going to miss you so much." Ever since he had gotten the phone call from his vocal instructor about a group of four guys who needed a bass voice to finish their harmony, he and Ryn knew this time was coming.
"I'm going to miss you too, Ryn. I won't forget you." Her brown eyes went soft and she gave him a forced smile.
"You better not. Don't get famous and forget me."
"How could I? You're unforgettable." She giggles.
"FLIGHT 1045 SERVING ORLANDO, FLORDIA NOW BOARDING FIRST CLASS PASSENGERS AND PARENTS WITH SMALL CHILDREN AT GATE 14A." Says a flight attendant over the PA system. He looks over her shoulder and sees his parents walking towards them. He gives them each a hug and his mom gives him a kiss on the cheek.
"FLIGHT 1045 SEVING ORLANDO NOW BOARDING ROWS 17-30 AT GATE 14A."
"I guess it's almost time for me to go, huh?" James says with a slight grin. Ryn smiled. She loved that smile. It always made her feel better. They stand in silence for a few minutes watching the crowd, not wanting to acknowledge his leaving.
"FLIGHT 1045 SEVING ORLANDO NOW BOARDING ROWS 6-16 AT GATE 14A."
"Well, that's me…" He gives his dad a hug and then his mom. "Bye. I love you two. See ya when I see ya?" His dad nods. His mother cries.
"Yes, sweetie. Be good, ya here?" He nods.
"Taryn."
"James."
"I'm gunna miss you."
"Ditto James. Ditto." He hugs her holding on tightly, for the first time crying.
"I love you." James mumbles into his best friend's hair.
"Ditto. I love you too." Taryn says smiling. He pulls away from her and gives one last smile to his parents before heading to the gate entrance where the attendant takes his ticket. Heading down the gateway, he's soon gone from sight. Taryn and his parents watch as the plane leaves the gate and starts to taxi. Soon it takes off and he was on his way to Orlando, only then, did Taryn let the tears freely fall faster and harder then before. Mrs. Bass holds her as they leave the terminal.
They had fallen asleep on the plastic chairs right outside her room. The guys abruptly wake up when they hear a bunch of doctors rush into Taryn's room. Her heart rhythm was abnormal and she was starting to seize. Lance watches, helpless, as the doctors try to re-stabilize her. He hated that feeling. Being helpless, he wanted so much to help her, but there wasn't anything he could do. Finally they manage to get her heart rhythm back to normal. Lance lets out a long breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. She was going to be okay for now.
KNOCK… KNOCK… Though the sound was muffled by his pillow, a 19 year old Lance hears the double knock on his hotel room door. It was a weird knock, most people knocked three times. Then again, Taryn wasn't most people. He was confused. That was Ryn's knock all right, but she was at college in New York. He was in Los Angeles. Managing to get himself out of bed, he moans and groans himself to the door, still holding on to his pillow. Lance hesitantly opens the door, half expecting Joey or Chris to come barging in. His expectations were confirmed when moments later a figure tackles him.
"CHRIS!"
"I ain't Chris J." His eyes widen, and he takes a deep breath. The scent of apples fills his nose. He blinks a couple of times.
"Ryn?"
"In the flesh cutie."
"Why are you here?" Lance asks her as they stand up. He looks her over. She had grown since he had last seen her two years ago. Ryn had gotten a couple inches taller. He guessed it was a late growth spurt. Her black hair was still long; it always had been. She had never given in to getting it cut. Her clothing style had changed though. He remembered that she always wore jeans and a baggy t-shirt. It was a comfortable sense of style. Now, it had gotten a little more sporty and revealing, from her short and tight jean shorts to her tight, black baby t-shirt that exposed her belly button ring.
"Well last time you called me, I could clearly hear in your voice that something was wrong. You expect me to not come when that happens? I know you J. Something has been bothering you and I don't plan on leaving till you spill." Taryn hugs him.
"You've always been very persistent." Lance sighs.
"You know it." She says with a smile. He walks over to his bed and collapses on it. Laying down, he beckons her to follow. She complies.
"It's this famous thing Ryn. It's hard. I feel like I don't deserve it. That and the fact that everyone seems to want to know what I'm doing and when I'm doing it. I have no privacy anymore. I'm surprised they still haven't gotten anything on you yet." She turns on her side, propping her head up with her arm. Taryn looks him straight in the eyes.
"Listen to me James. No matter what. You DO deserve all this. It's all you and your friends that have created this hype. Your voices are amazing. The five-part harmony thing you guys have going is incredible. Never EVER doubt that. And secondly, you kinda signed up for the paparazzi thing when you signed the contract J. I wish I could do something about that, but I can't. I hate seeing you like this. I miss your smile. Besides I can see it in your eyes, you love this." He mirrors her position and grins.
"You know what Ryn? You're absolutely right." Before she realizes what's happening, he attacks her and starts to tickles her.
"Stop!" She shrieks, laughing.
"Say uncle!"
"NEVER!"
Everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
But you and I know what this world can do
So let's make our steps clear that the other may see
And I'll wait for you
Should I fall behind
Wait for me
After her seizure, Taryn had gone into a coma. The doctors were allowing the guys to go in one at a time. Chris, JC, Joey and Justin agreed that Lance couldn't see her just yet, so they send Justin first. He walks into the room. It was okay, but highly depressing. Taryn was right there, some color had come back to her skin, but it wasn't right. Justin grabs a chair off to the side and pulls it up to her. He grabs her hand and rubs his thumb in slow circles on the back of it. For the first time for him, the tears fall.
"Hey Tare-bear. I read somewhere that if you talk to people while they're in a coma, they can hear you and come back because of your voice. Well I guess that's what I'm hoping. Come back to us. We need you. Tare you should see Lance. He's a emotional mess right now…" He gets a knot in his throat, but manages to swallow it down. "Just come back to us… come back, you hear me?" He stops rubbing her hand, gives a light kiss where he had been, and leaves. Chris decides to be the next one. He looks around the room before sitting in the chair that Justin had previously occupied.
"This isn't you T. Why'd you do it?" He looks straight at her. "Did you even realize that we loved you just the way you were?" New tears traced the ones that had previously dried up. "We're just not the same with out ya T, especially Lance. He's… he's… man, I've never seen him like this. You've got to come back to us. We need you, T… We ALL need you." Chris stands up and gives her a hug, silently hoping that she would wake up. He sighs when she still doesn't move and leaves to get Joey.
A twenty-year-old Taryn looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. She didn't look at thing like those models that hung on every word James said. They were so thin. By all means she wasn't fat, but she wasn't thin, or gorgeous, or sexy like they were. Taryn looked at the picture of her and James together at her last birthday party. They were smiling. It was such a surprise to her. She didn't think he was going to make it this year, but he had, with flying colors. Looking back in the mirror, she runs her hands over her profile from the base of her neck to the bottom of her hips. Giving the mirror the side view of her, she puts a hand on her stomach. Taryn wanted to be like them. To have the looks James gave them. To have the attention James gave them. She resolved right then and there to do anything to look like them.
Joey enters the room looking around and then his eyes fix on the figure in the bed. He didn't know Taryn quite as well as the other guys, but he still considered her a sister. He walks over to her and sits down.
"I'm not sure what to say Princess. It's not right for you to be in here. Lance isn't right with you in here. I'm pretty sure the other two have already said this, but come back to us. I still have yet to beat you in pickup lines. I'm going to beat you one day. I am… You just gotta come back and let me. Just… just… just come back to us. We need you." He stands up, gives her a kiss on the fore head and leaves to get JC. Moments later JC enters the room.
"I hate to say it, but I was the one that found you Tare. If Lance had… jeeze… I don't think he would've been able to handle it. This is wrong Tare. Come back to us. We love you." He gives her a kiss on the cheek and leaves to get Lance
"Hey Ryn! You want to come with me and the guys to The Hard Rock Café for lunch?" Lance calls from the hallway.
"Nah… I think I'll head out shopping while you guys do that and the photo shoot afterwards. I'll eat at the mall J." God, I hate lying to him.
"You sure?" Lance sticks his head in the doorway. Something was wrong with her. She looked thin, too thin.
"Positive."
"Alright. Well I'll see ya at around 4 then, unless you want to meet up with us at the photo shoot." He writes an address on one of his business cards and hands it to her. "We'll be here. Be good Ryn, okay?" He puts his hands on her shoulders and gives her a sly smile. She blinks her eyes innocently.
"Who? Me? Never." He chuckles and gives her a hug. That was his Ryn.
"We'll if you're sure then… I'll see ya." She nods.
"Bye J." She says as he leaves her room.
"Bye Ryn."
Now there's a beautiful river in the valley ahead
And there ´neath the oak's bough, soon we will wed
Should we lose each other
In the shadow of the evening trees
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
Darlin´ I'll wait for you
Should I fall behind
Wait for me
Oh, wait for me
Lance enters slowly, the machines beeping. His eyes lock on the figure in the bed. More tears came from his green eyes. That wasn't Ryn. Ryn was full of life, always excited… perfect. He sits down on the chair that his 'brothers' had sat in. Her she was. His best friend lying in a hospital bed, in a coma. The doctors said that she had been anorexic. That her heart didn't have nutrients. The words came slowly.
"Hey Ryn… it's me… This isn't right Ryn. You shouldn't be here… Those doctors said that you were anorexic, that's why you're heart did what it did. I don't understand why though. You're perfect Ryn… absolutely perfect. I don't know why you never saw that. I figured something was wrong. You never really could lie to me…" He can't keep a small sheepish smile from his face. "I'm… I'm lost without you Ryn. I am… I… I… I love you Ryn… So much. And not just friends… I love you with all my heart… as cheesy as it sounds, you make me feel whole…" He wipes the tears on his sleeve and grabs her hand. Lance presses his forehead against her hand. "Come back to me. I love you."
Her heart was pounding in her chest. For the first time in her life, Taryn Phillips was truly terrified. Her heart seemed as though it would beat out of her chest. She fell to the floor gasping for air and quickly her world went black.
****
"T? T?" JC calls as he entered the dressing room. Lance said she was back there and he needed to ask her a question. His eyes widen as he sees her lying cold on the floor. "Oh god! LANCE!!!!!" He quickly kneels down beside her. "Come on. Tare… don't do this… come on…" He says nudging her. "Come on… LANCE!" Lance runs in and he sees his friend. JC stands up and Lance takes his spot.
"Oh god… no… RYN! JC… go call 911 and send Lonnie in. We've got to get her help." Lance picks her up and they rush out of the room. The faster they got to the ER… the better.
With his head down, Lance doesn't notice the movement from her face. Her eyelids start to flicker. Groggily her surroundings come into focus. James was there. She smiles.
"I love you Ryn." She hears him mumble and she sucks in her breath. He hears her and looks up. Now tears of joy fill his eyes.
"I love you too."
"What happened Ryn.. Why'd you do it?"
"I wanted to be perfect for you… like those models."
"Ryn… in my eyes, you always were perfect." He gives her a soft kiss on the lips. She tries to pull him in more but he stops. "Let me get the nurse huh? Make sure you'll be okay." She nods… tears welling up. In his eyes, she always was picture perfect.
If I should fall behind
Wait for me
"If I Should Fall Behind" By Faith Hill
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