FSMN Articles

Talk to FSMN in late 1999 by Ray Tomes

So spoke the Buddha when delivering his dissertation on how to live a proper life and to practice vipassana meditation. He claimed that he had fully explored every aspect of suffering and arrived at the ultimate truth, a claim that if substantiated is the most important one ever for medicine and psychology and for science in general.

To the modern scientific mind it may seem that such claims are far too fantastic to possibly be true. However the Buddha also described his observations of sub-atomic particles arising and passing away billions of times in the blink of an eye and the existence of billions of other worlds, things that were not known to modern science until the last couple of centuries. And yet these observations were made without the aid of any instruments. Only by actually experiencing vipassana meditation for oneself can anyone begin to appreciate that the human body and mind are such fine instruments that these things might be possible.

Briefly, vipassana meditation is begun by attending an intensive 10 day course. The student promises to keep certain moral precepts which should be acceptable to people regardless of religious beliefs and to remain for the full course in silence. For 3 days attention is focused fully on the breathing and the subtle sensations around the entrance to the nostrils. This period helps to still the mind and the body, to improve concentration and to make the student more sensitive to subtle body sensations. Then for 7 days the entire body is observed from head to toe, part by part, for sensations of every type. The student attempts to remain equanimous (or neutral) to every type of sensation whether it is pleasant or unpleasant.

The Buddha's discovery which allowed him to devise this technique (which was known previously but had been lost) was that there was an extra step in the causal cycle of craving and aversion which had not been recognised by others in his own time. This step is that every event that happens at the six sense doors, meaning the five senses plus the mind, is then echoed as some sensation in the body. This echo sensation may be pleasant or unpleasant and is the thing that we either seek or hope to avoid when we have craving or aversion for anything. All suffering stems from craving and aversion because it is through not getting what we want or getting what we don't want that we are made unhappy. He had found the weak link in the chain that allows the elimination of all suffering.

We can immediately recognise that many illnesses and other problems are related to craving and aversion; alcoholism, drug addiction, smoking, over-eating, stress from overworking, stealing, laziness and so on. However many other conditions are caused by less obvious connections.

Whenever we have feelings of "like" or "dislike" or have any reaction associated with sensations that may manifest due to many different reasons, then we cause that reaction to be stored in our minds. Depending on how often and how strongly we react, we make impressions that may vary from being like a line in the water, to like a line in the sand or like a line cut into stone. These formations are observable in the body and a corresponding effort of not reacting is required before these formations pass away.

Once we have established such impressions then they leap into life as unconscious reactions to events that are similar to the ones that created them. This means for example that if we frequently react to an itch by becoming annoyed and scratching it, then in future when we get an itch we will become annoyed and scratch it without making a conscious decision to do so. It will then take considerable conscious effort to break this habit. In vipassana we discover the extent to which our minds are not our own. We find that many thoughts arise unbidden and that we are powerless to stem this flow. The mind may be described as being full of chattering monkeys and wild horses, with the odd rampaging elephant.

The Buddha described that there are three types of learning or knowledge. The first is book learning or being told something. This is a useful way of extending our horizons but we have no way of telling whether we are being told the truth or have fully understood. The second is rational thinking which examines the consistency of something with regard to other things that we accept. This is a scientific approach but still depends on the accuracy of axioms that are taken for granted. The third is direct experience. It depends only on perceiving bodily sensations and not interpreting them. While the other methods lead to belief this last leads to certain knowledge and the Buddha wanted everyone to experience the truth of the reality of things directly for themselves.

I want to tell you now about my own experience with vipassana. Of course for you this will be just a tale, but you can have your own experience should you wish. Your experience will not be the same as mine as indeed each course that I have attended has been quite different.

I first attended a 10 day course in May 1998. The teacher had told me that the spirit of a warrior was required and I had very seriously made the commitment to stay 10 days. However on the very first day an old back injury became extremely painful and I could not imagine that I could last for 10 days. However on the second day the words "my knee is in agony" arose in my mind and suddenly it was true; my knee was in agony but "I" was not. I had dissociated from the pain in my knee and was calmly observing it. At times I still got absorbed in the pain and struggled, but gradually was able to become an equanimous observer and gradually the pain subsided. The gradual release of bodily pain and tension has meant that my body has become softer and much more flexible over the last year.

The other outstanding thing in the first 3 days was seeing the extent to which the mind is distracted. Despite repeatedly ignoring arising thoughts and returning to observing the breath, thought after thought arose about anything and everything as the mind desperately sought escape from becoming disciplined.

When we changed from anapana or observing the breath, to vipassana, we began to observe the body part by part all over. All sorts of sensations were found including hot, cold, wet, dry, itchy, throbbing, dull, sharp, painful, pleasant, aching and so on. Some areas of the body seemed to have almost no sensations and considerable effort was required to penetrate into these "foggy" patches. Some of the sensations were unfamiliar and had no name, but we were told just to observe them and there is no need to name them. As we repeatedly scanned our bodies some sensations arose and passed away while others changed more gradually.

At one time I observed inside my nostrils and found that there were several very small sharp points of pain. Suddenly two jets of sensation shot through my cheekbones and a moment later another two. Almost immediately my sinuses emptied and were then totally clear. Gradually over the next few days they became blocked again but often cleared again when I observed them. This continued after the course and one day when I went out for a walk I discovered that I could smell hundreds of different smells. This was something that I had not experienced for many decades despite trying many different suggested "remedies".

Initially the sensations on the surface of the body are observed but later on the inside of the body may also be scanned. Sometimes quite minute details may be sensed inside the body where previous experience said that I could feel nothing. On my first course I had some unpleasant sensations in my lower abdomen. Gradually this changed from a large diffuse ache to a very definite shape a bit like a figure of 8. Over time the shape became clearer and it reduced to two smaller areas of sharper pain. The amount of detail detectable varied and some times I could feel quite minute shapes which seemed to be blood vessels connected to my intestine. I also became aware of itchy sensations in my lower bowel and another dull area with no sensations. Over some months these sensations gradually changed and began to disappear. At the same time bowel problems that I had experienced for some decades have considerably improved. I had been to Doctors many times without finding any relief.

I have mentioned physical health changes which I have experienced with vipassana. Mental or psychological changes were also experienced. Although I knew that I often talked too much before doing vipassana I had never really considered that there was any other way to react to statements by others than to judge them as possibly being correct or not. After my first course when we were allowed to talk to the other students I discovered that the subtle sensations did not stop when I stopped meditating. Rather, when I talked too much I got a sensation in my head and when I had critical thoughts about what someone else was saying I had a different sensation. When I interrupted someone else a third sensation arose and I found that I therefore became more sensitive to the bad habits that I had practiced for most of my life. Such habits do not change easily but once awareness is established changes can be made by making an effort each time some condition arises. The long journey begins and advances with each step that we take.

In a matter of a few months I managed to let go of much churning in my mind with regard to people who I considered had betrayed me in some way. I had previously lost much sleep over feelings of injustice and now I have managed to forgive all the people who I had such stored resentments concerning. I am now much more easily able to see other people as also suffering and have compassion for them without getting it mixed up with the harm that they may be trying to do to me. Some of my other faults such as impatience however are still putting up a battle and there is plenty more to work on.

Once one accepts the power of vipassana there is nothing that cannot be accomplished. I no longer doubt that every old injury and fear, every bad habit and fault will ultimately be addressed and conquered if I have the courage to persist and be totally honest with myself. Sometimes the size of the things that arise may be very scary and several times I have been in states of total despair, but always there has been a good reason and a good lesson and the experience has taken me beyond my previous understanding. I am reminded of Kahlil Gibran who wrote that "pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses our understanding". The ego takes some blows in vipassana and gradually we head towards a state where "me and mine" becomes much less important than considering what is good for all.