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Featured Article
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***DISCLAIMER***IF THE FOLLOWING BOTHERS YOU EMAIL US
AT gotohellasshole@hotmail.com, or
putyournutsinablender@hotmail.com.
PLAYER DEALER SAYS ECONOMY TO BLAME FOR STALE FOREIGN
MARKET
-Isn't Willing to go the extra mile for Cooaches paying
less-
11-29-03
By Ace Licnew
BENONI, SOUTH AFRICA-
With a growing number of scholarship players not
giving a shit or sub par in a performance sense, the
country's top teams are now on the 'flim flam'.
Foreign Player Expert Jimmy "The Bull" Backos, a South
African player exporter and importer, says his
business has gone down hill since Bush came into
office. Backos also stresses that its not that players
don't give a shit, but there motivation fluctuates
with the economy, as well as his.
"With Clinton the economy flourished in the US, I was
charging 400 a tip (giving a college coach the heads
up on a good player), and getting 3000 when the player
signed, now with Bush...hell, if I could get 2 kids on
a plane at 250 I'd be happy."
Backos, one of the originator's of the 'Underground
Player Railroad', a pipeline of players from South
Africa, Ghana, and several other countries to colleges
in the USA, also says that with coaches paying less he
gives them "shittier players who may not have been the
player they were looking for."
The 'Underground Player Railroad' has been around for
quite some time. Top college coaches around the
country rely on it during recruiting season, and with
compliance departments and NCAA officials not really
paying much attention to soccer in general coaches
have gotten away with plenty of illegal players.
Coaches have gone "buck wild importing players of all
ages, ethnicities, and talent" says Backos.
Backos who got his nickname 'the bull' after running
head first into a parked car during the running of the
bulls in Pamplona, Spain says that he feels the market
will rebound.
Backos also notes that with the top players in America
going right into the pros and foreign players using
more pot, coaches across the USA are hurting for
talented motivated players.
"The old adage that players make the team is wearing
thin," adds Backos' wingman Kerry 'The Gentleman'
Hirtzovena, and goes onto say that "These shit coaches
who have relied on us to get them players are out of
luck...whats that stupid american saying 'There is no
such thing as a free lunch' yeah we won't work for
free" adding Backos "OR FOR CHEAP".
**this article written by special contributor Ace
Licnew, who by the way set the record for multiple
lugies spit at once with 13, he would like to thank
Marlboro Smokes, Coca Cola Soda, and his flu
symptoms**
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