An Annv. fan fic--Nov. 4th

by Sonja

email at Sonja Ria @aol.com (There is a space between Sonja Ria, so the direct mail to might not work)

Okay, these scenes won't go away, so I had to post it. So I snuck away from writiing Ties and wrote this....Hope you like it...

November 4, 1997 around 11 pm...'

"Oomph," the box slipped from her grip and landed on the floor with a thud. "Great, just great." Brenda surveys the tumbled box with an annoyed expression on her face. " Here one day and you're already breaking what few possessions you actually have." Sinking to the floor, she blows a wayward piece of hair out of her eyes and looks down at her white t-shirt and black sweatpants that had seen better days. "If the reporters could see me now,"

she laughs to herself.

She looks around at the cottage that is now her home, she loved it, it felt good to actually call something her own. But it needed work after all the only piece of furniture that she had was an oversized cream club chair, like the one at the Penthouse. Shifting to make herself more comfortable in the deep pile of light seafoam carpeting, she looks at the items that had tumbled out of the box.

Some photos and mementoes of her travels fell out, all of looked so small but familiar, all except for the ornately wooden box. Picking it up, she admires the ornate carving, she removes the lid, not knowing what was inside. She stares at it, frozen for a moment, at what lay one of the most cherished items of her life...the broken pieces of the tiny yacht game piece.

Not even noticing the tears slowly sliding down her face, images start tumbling through her heart. She remembers being in Alaska playing JaxHits and winning, putting Jax's wedding ring back on his finger, vowing to protect it and him for all that she was worth. A small tender smile grows on her face as she remembers Jax carrying her over the threshold of the PH and placing the yacht on the mantle, looking into Jax's eyes and vowing, "That where

ever we go, the yacht will bring us good luck and mean that we are home."

She blinks away the tears that are stinging her eyes and tries futilely to put the yacht back together. She knows that she can't fix it, not right now. But the feeling of home and the promise it contains hasn't died with it. Putting all the pieces back into the box, she gets up and places in the mantle over the fireplace.

She strokes the box gently, "Soon, I'll fix you and then you will be out for all to see. For Jax to see..." she finishes wistfully.

She returns to the box, eager to see what else is there, but afraid. Tentatively, she reaches in and pulls them out one by one. Memories of her...Jax. Her magic lamp, the picture of Jax after their trip to Austrailia, some sand in a bottle from Malibu. For each one that she uncovers, a myriad of emotions tumble through her, a warm tenderness, a feeling of being cherished at each of Jax's gifts, sadness and anger at what she let go, and a

wistfulness for a return to those times.

She pauses as she reaches the bottom of the box, two items remain and she is almost afraid to touch them. Slowly she reaches in, exhaling as she lifts her wedding veil and a small familiar box. Tired of her own tears, she bites her lip, thinking of her almost second wedding to Jax. She puts down the box and moves over to the mirror, gently placing the veil on her head, not seeing a woman with a smudged face and stained clothes, but seeing a

nervous but delirious bride to be....

There she was so sure of what she was about to do, so happy, but at the same time her stomach flutter with a flood of butterflies...She had to talk to him...Now. Racing out the door, down the hallway to Jax's room.

"Head over heels in love with you..." she murmurrs to her reflection. Unable to bear her own reflection she turns away, unable to think about what she had lost. "So intent on the goal that I would pass over the only man that could make me happy."

Whipping the veil off of her head, she curls up on the chair, for once her last thoughts before sleeping where not of Sonny, but of her best friend, the only one who had stood by her....

Subject: Annv ff (cont.)

Date: Mon, Nov 3, 1997 23:53 EST

From: Sonja Ria

Message-id: <19971104045301.XAA02633@ladder01.news.aol.com>

Across town at the Penthouse...

Jax is sitting on the landing, barefoot, his shirt is untucked an unbuttoned. He stares out over the Penthouse, he eyes are stormy and troubled. He had kept busy all day, trying not to remember, but in the end failing miserably. His thoughts are consumed by his memories from last year in New Orleans. A year ago, he had had it all, everything that mattered, all on a balcony in the rain.

Then when he thought it couldn't get any better, the next day she'd told him. Told him that she was head over heels in love with him. He couldn't even describe the joy that was inside of him, as he had escorted her down that staircase. Not knowing that everything would change, when they reached the bottom.

Chaos, the foundation of his beliefs had been rocked. Miranda alive and his family knew. Then Dad's heartattack. Brenda had stood by him, but the longer Miranda the further she slipped away from him. Back to Sonny. Back to all that pain and misery.

He could easily vent all of his anger onto Sonny, but his anger for Brenda was there, warring with his feelings for her. When all was said and done they were stil best friends. Sighing he gets up, looking out over Port Charles, wondering what she is doing what she is up to. Images of them together, there flit through his mind, ending with the night before she had left on her Jax Cosmetics tour. The night that he declared "Nobody leaves." A

voice echoes in his mind, but she did....

Knowing that he couldn't get any where, having this arguement with himself, he settles into the club chair on the landing, seeking some peace in his dreams...

Brenda and Jax are sleeping peacefully, he on his back, her head rests on his chest, one hand resting on his chest. Jax covers it protectively, holding her to him, a light sheet covers them both of them.

Brenda wakes up slowly, a smile lighting her face and she hears the best sound in the world, her husband's heartbeat. Enjoying the sound of the surf and birds, she can see the beach from their bedroom.

Her eyes widen as she remembers the date...One year to the day...they had been married at the Quartermaines for the second time. She had told him that she loved him that day. It was the first time she had said it to his face, but she couldn't remember a time when she didn't love him, all of him. Snuggling closer to him, she feels content and at peace with her life.

Jax felt her shift on his chest, waking up with his wife in his arms was his gift one that he cherished every day and would never take for granted. They had weathered a lot this past year, but had come throught the fire together.

He vowed to make sure it stayed that way, not that he wouldn't have help. After all this was Brenda, and he seemed to remember a death threat in there if he ever ditched her.

She feels Jax's chest vibrate as he chuckled in memory of her inventive suggestions.

Sparkling brown eyes meet blue as she streches up to meet Jax's lips, in a tender kiss. "Happy Anniversary, Sweetie." they both say as their lips part.

"So Mr. Jacks, did you mind being kidnapped?" she asks coyly, resting her chin on his chest, stroking the smooth muscles, beneath her.

Running a hand through her dark hair, thinking for a moment. "Kidnapped? Somehow I thought I died and gone to heaven, after you ravished me."

"Ravished?" she asks with an arched eyebrow, "Oh, I think that you did your fair share of 'ravishing' last night.."

Looking smug, "I did, didn't I? I love that you 'swept' us away to Malibu. It seems right to return to where We began."

"Yes, it's perfect." Her eyes grow dreamy as memories of their first real kiss flood her memory. Even then they had connected, she hadn't realized then, she was just thankful she recognized it now. Jax shifts her to lie fully on top of him, drawing her attention back to the present.

"I think more ravishing is in order, I need the practice."

"Your wish has always been my command."

Their lips meet in a kiss that fans the flame of their love, the celebration has begun.

It had been a glorious day, one free of cell phones, fax machines, telephone call and business emergencies that often claimed them both. They had walked on the beach,

repeated their canoe ride, walked down Rodeo Drive, each looking for the most outrageous gift for one another. They had come home and relaxed and made love in the jacuzzi and on the deck chair where they had first kissed.

It was a beautiful night, the moon is full and glowing, the stars twinkling in the night. They had had a quiet candlelite dinner, which Brenda had declared that she had to cook. Jax had paled at that statement. So he was surprised when he lifted the tray off of his plate and found Chinese food from his favorite restaurant in Spain.

"Gotcha" she had laughed, pleased with herself.

Smirking at her, "Just glad that we wouldn't be spending the remainder of our anniversary in the emergency room."

Jaax, I'm not that bad."

With a suggestive twinkle in his eye, "Sweetie, your the best."

Giggling with delight, "Right back atcha, baby."

Jax gets up and turns on the stereo, choosing the CD, holding out a hand to her, he requested, "Dance with me.."

Brenda smoothes the navy blue sip dress over her hips, standing and taking in the sexy picture her husband represented in his gray slacks and navy blue shirt.

"Well..."

"I'm thinking..."

"Kinda late for that Sweetie. I mean we are married and all that."

"I was thinking about what a sexy man I married."

Grinning, "By all means please continue...but how about doing it over here, I think I would be even sexier close up."

Laughing, as she moved into his arms. "You know I love your modesty." At the same time the music began to play and the instrumental music, blends with the sounds from the ocea

"It's perfect, this day was perfect." She rests her head on his shoulder, feeling the santuary of his love surround her.

As he feels Brenda's arm wrap around him, he feels flooded with her love, accepted by it. The two dance slowly into the night, knowing that this is only the first of many anniversaries.

***

Brenda inhales sharply as she jerks awake, feeling the warmth of the sun streaming through windows. She can feel the smile on her face, along with the tears. Slowly she remembers her dream. "Jax, what have I done?"

Jax wakes up abruptly to the shrill ringing of the telephone, he lets the machine get it, as he wipes a hand over his face, knowing that he had been dreaming of her, of them together. "Brenda..."

Subject: Annv FF pt3

Date: Tue, Nov 4, 1997 01:04 EST

From: Sonja Ria

Message-id: <19971104060401.BAA08877@ladder01.news.aol.com>

November 5th--

Brenda and Jax both strived to keep busy that day, tormented by the sweetness of their memories and the regret of what might have been.

Jax was especially frustrated, since he had believed that he could always walk away from a losing game. But with Brenda his rules were out the window. He told himself to make new rules. He knew he had to protect himself, not leave himself hanging out there to be hurt again. He had to, for now.

The ringing of the telephone interrupts his self-lecture. "Jax here."

"I should hope so."

"Brenda..." At the sound of her voice, his pulse leapt and then a measure of worry seeped in, "Are you okay? Nothing's wrong is it?"

"Jax..." laughing, wondering how the sound of his voice can bring a smile to her face and raise her spirits, "The house is stilll standing, no fires, no floods or self-inflicted injuries to report...of course the day isn't over."

"Okay, okay. So what's up?"

Taking a deep breath, she asks, "I was wondering if you would like to be my first official guest for dinner."

"Dinner?" A voice inside of his head says no, Shut up, it's just dinner...

"Jax? Jax, are you still there?" Biting her lip nervously, waiting for his answer, "If you are busy, I'll un..."

"No, dinner will be great. Can I bring anything?" Running a hand through his hair, he feels momentarily like a schoolboy.

"Just you..." her voice is low and sweet. Happy that he said yes, that she wouldn't be alone on this day.

Grinning into the phone, "I think I can manage that. How about 7:00?"

"That sounds good. No ties allowed, okay?' she demands.

"Yes, ma'am." they are silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. "Brenda I have to go, I have another call. I'll see you later. Bye."

"Bye" She switches off the phone looking into it like it can foretell the future. "Happy Anniversary."

She heads upstairs to change, in her bedroom she pauses, her eyes lighting on the photograph of Jax, taken when they were in Austrailia. "To remind me that I learn something new about you everyday." She strokes the outline of face, shaking her head, "No more of that Brenda Barrett, if you don't get moving. You'll be dining on water or diet soda tonight."

***

Jax stood outside the cottage, a little nervous, the day and its memories had thrown his balance off. He wonders if Brenda even remembers, afraid by either prospect. He rings the bell.

"Coming..." she answered. Smoothing her hair behind her ears and the blue silk dress that she had bought on impulse, earlier that day. She looks back satisfied at her living room, as she nears the door, she gets more and more nervous. It's just Jax, my best friend...then why are your cheeks flushed and your pulse beating...oh shut up.

She opens the door, a silly grin lighting her face and eyes, they widen as she takes in his gray slacks and navy blue silk shirt. She meets his eyes, "Hi..Welcome to Chez Brenda. You look nice."

"Well, some bossy woman said no tie, so No tie. You look nice too." He pauses waiting to be let in, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Oh, come on in." Jax looks around, seeing a few throw pillows lying on the loveseat, along with a Nancy Drew book. The chair that was nestled by the fireplace, and their dining area.

"Nice setup..."

"I have only just begun to decorate." she retorts. "Besides, you have the honor of being my first victim...oh I mean guest tonight." Laughing she walks towards the kitchen, "Sit down."

He sits down, liking how comfortable the house is, '"is there anything I can do to help."

"Uh...No...."

"Brenda?"

"I'll be out in a minute why don't you open the wine." He hears a something crash, followed by some muttering.

"Br..."

"I'm right here." she comes out carrying a large cassarole dish. The salad and other food is already laid out. Arching an eyebrow in challenge, "Are you ready?"

He swallows, not wanting to dissapoint her, "Okay?"

she puts down the dish and kneels across from him, talking while sipping from her wine glass. "This is a recipe that Julia gave me. She said it was so easy, even she could cook it.."

Jax's wine get caught in his throat, he starts coughing, "Recipe?....Cook it?" He clears his throat, looking at her suspiciously, "You?"

Looking offended, "You don't think I could?'

"Of course you could just not today...you'd need about a year's worth of lessons."

"Are you done besmirching my culinary skills? Do you want to eat?"

Knowing when to quit, "I am starved."

"Well go ahead, it is not going to attack you...." Hiding her grin behindher glass, she urges him on. "Go on..."

Diving right in he opens the dish, seeing his favorite chicken and pasta dish from the Outback lying there.

"Gotcha..."

"I knew it all along...."

"No you didn''t"

"Yes I did."

***

The food was good as always, but the company made it exceptional, both are relaxed and enjoying the silence between them. Both thinking that this felt familiar, like their outfits, it was meant to be...

"Jax?"

"Hmm.."

"Have you talked to your parents lately? How's your Dad?"

Jax pauses, "Yeah, he's doing well...Not as much as he would like, but Lady Jane is keeping him in line." Neither one would say anymore, each knowing that the other remembers...it just wasn't time to talk about it yet.

"Oh, that's good, I am glad that he's doing well." The silence returned, a little tense now. "Why don't you put some music on and I'll put some of this away...."

She escapes to the kitchen, not sure what to do next, turning to head back to the living room. She stops in her tracks as the strains of the song wash over her.

Jax looks equally stricken,as the "Can't we Stop the Rain?" pours from the speakers, washing over both of them with bittersweet memories. Quickly he jerks the radio off, and runs a hand through his hair, "Brenda, I think...."

"Jax, no wait. I need to tell you this, I want you it know...remember after your Dad was in the Hospital and we stuck together. And you told me that I helped you, supported you?"

"Yeah?" frowning, not sure where this can be going.

"Well I need you to know that...umm...I want that again, that I want to be there for you too." She walks towards him, the words tumbling out, "I mean you've been great to me and I 'm sure you will be there for me again."

"Bren.."

"No wait, but I want you to be able to come to me too." She looks into his eyes, her dark eyes are huge and compelling. "I don't want to be selfish with you Jax, not this time." She finishes and waits for him to answer. "Not this way, I think it is important to our relationship."

"Brenda, I don't know what to say...."

"Then don't say anything, just remember what I said tonight. You're the one always reminding that I am strong...so lean on me too. We're best friends, right?" smiling to ease the tension.

Smiling back, he takes her hand, "Yeah we are....Look, I better go."

"Alright.."

She opens the door for him, watching him as he leaves, hoping that she did the right thing. Trying to trust her instincts again. "Jax..." she calls out to him.

He turns and faces her, "Promise me, you'll think about what I said.."

"I promise.." Her smiles flashes at him, because at those words she knew that he would. She trusted him without a doubt. "Goodnight, Brenda."

Jax heads off her words running through his head, they give him a belief that she is not as far away as he thought. He cautions himself, not to move to fast, this time the ball was in Brenda's court. Somehow, he thought, she wasn't going to have problem with that.

She closes the door, leaning back on it. Jax knew the significance of her words, she could tell. She felt like as if she was healing inside, not just because of Jax, but because she had faith in herself that she had done the right thing.

And maybe, just maybe...their dreams would be real next year...

***

Okay this is the first time I have just written something and posted it at the same time.

Usually I have to rewrite and rewrite it and edit it, you get the picture. Hopefully it is legible and not too many spelling errors.

By the way I Promise to have the Ties that Bind 14 up this weekend, strange is 13 supposed to be unlucky, but this part has got me stumped.

Jax and Brenda are unstoppable, they are meant to be.

Have a good night, please let me know what you think.

Sonja

IRFC

BBGA