J&B story

by: Darlene

Parts 74 - 80

Back at Jax's penthouse, the guest room is set up as a nursrey for Brooke-Lynn.

B: "Jax there's more stuff here then Lois has for Brook."

J: "I want her to be happy here"

B: "She will be, you're here" {Brenda flashes jax a huge smile}

J: "what does that mean?"

B: "I haven't met a girl yet that you can't make happy" {Brenda kisses Jax} "I know you always make me happy"

Brenda kisses Jax again. While they're kissing, Jax takes Brook -Lynn

from Brenda's arms, Once the kiss ends, Jax walks over to the crib he had placed in the room, & lays Brook in it.

J: "She needs to rest"

B: {To Brook} "Good night Brook-y"

J: "Goodnight little pumpkin"

Jax & Brenda stay, watching over Brook-Lynn, until she falls asleep. Brenda & Jax go to the living room where Brenda excuses herself to go & change for bed. A few minutes after Brenda leaves, Brooke begins to cry. Jax rushes to her crib & picks her up. She immediately stops crying.

Back at Brenda's Penthouse, she is on the phone.

B: "Thank you, I'll see you yomorrow then, bye"

When Brenda returns to Jax's, she finds a sleeping Jax laying on the couch with Brook-Lynn sleeping on his chest. His arms are securely around her. Brenda carefully closes the door so that she won't wake Jax. Brenda sits on the couch across from Jax & watches him & Brook sleep. After about an hour, Brenda gets up & stands over Jax.

B: "Jax, honey, are you awake?" {brenda thinks for a few minutes} "I know how to get you up" {Brenda leans down & kisses Jax's lips, she knows he's awake when she feels him kissing back}

J: "I must have dosed off, how long have you been back?"

B: "a little over an hour"

J: "Why didn't you wake me?"

B: "You look so adorable when you're sleeping, especially with Brook on you. I love watching you sleep"

J: "I thought you were going to change"

B: "I was, but when I started to change, I realized that I would rather wear one of your shirts. I did do something though"

There's silence for a few minutes.

J: "Well are you going to tell me what you did?"

B: "I called Kevin & set up an appointment for tomorrow. Will you be okay with Brook, by yourself?"

J: "Yeah, I'll be fine. I thought Kevin was recovering"

B: "I guess he's better because he left a message on my machine. When I called him back, he said that he could see me tomorrow"

Brenda goes to Jax's room & puts on one of his shirts. Jax gtets up & joins Brenda in the bedroom. Jax brings Brook with him. Jax & Brenda fall asleep on the bed with Brook on Jax;s chest.

The next morning, Brenda is in the living room feeding Brook (who is in her high chair). Jax comes up behind Brenda, places his arms around her waist & his chin on her shoulder, so that their faces are touching.

J: "What time are oyu going to Kevin's?"

B: "In a couple of hours, at nine"

Jax walks over tp the couch & silently sits down, watching Brenda. After a long silence, Brenda looks at Jax & notices the sad, almost hurt look on his face.

B: "Jax what's wrong?"

J: "Nothing"

B: "Honey please don't do this"

J: "what am I doing"

B: "Shuting down like you always do when you're feeling bad"

J: "I don't do that" {Brenda walks over & takes Jax's hands}

B: "yes you do. You always try to protect me from your feelings"

J: "I was just thinking about the last time you went to Kevin's. When you came bnack, you left."

B: "Oh Jax. That won't happen this time"

J: "My mind knows that but my heart doesn't"

Brenda sits on Jax's lap, he wraps his arms around her & holds on tight.

B: "Jax there's nothing to worry about. I'm more sure of us then I have ever been of anything in my life. If you don't want me to go, I won't"

J: "You need to go, you told me that. I just keep thinking about last time when you decided to move out, how hard it was, how it" {Jax stops}

B: "How it what?"

J: "Nothing"

B: "You're doing it again. Shutting down to protect me. Please don't do that. what were you going to say?"

J: "It broke my heart. I don't see what me telling you this is going to do except make you feel bad"

B: "You always try & protect me from your feelings, I don't want that. I want to know everything about you Jax, that includes the bad as well as the good" {Brenda kisses Jax} "I have to go"

Jax kisses Brenda again, a long kiss, the kind of kiss that a couple might share if one of them was going away for a long time.

B: "I'll be back by lunch time"

Brenda kisses Jax one last time before leaving.

B: "I love you Jax"

Brenda starts to get up & has to literally pull Jax's hands off of her.

J: "I love you too Brenda"

B: "I won't be long. I promise"

Brenda goes out the door. jax sits on the couch motionless for a few minutes until Brook starts to cry. He gets up & lifts Brook out of her high chair.

At Kevin's Brenda & Kevin first begin with polite conversation. Brenda aks kevin how he's doing & how Lucy is doing. After a few minutes of this talking, Kevin moves to a couch & asks Brenda to take a seat on the couch as well.

K: "The last time you were here you decided to move out on your own, how did that work out?"

B: "It didn't. I moved out so that I could figure out what I wanted, but I didn't. All I did was go running back to Sonny"

K: "Is that what you wanted?"

B: "I thought I did, but I didn't. Can we talk about something else?"

K: "Sure, how is your drug addiction?"

B: "Better, I relapsed for a while. When I was with Sonny, in Tiger Key, I started taking the pills again"

K: "How long did you take them for during your relapse?"

B: "Everyday until my wedding day, I went through withdrawl when i was in the hospital, in Malibu, with Jax"

K: "Have you taken any since then?"

B: "No, I wanted to when I saw my sister, but I didn't. I went to Jax instead"

K: "Maybe you should talk to a drug counslor, I'm not trained for this"

B: "No, you're the only therapist that helps, I can't talk about this with a stranger"

J: "Okay. I don't quite understand what going to Jax did, can you explain that?"

B: "Instead of taking a pill, I had Jax wrap his arms around me. I feel safe when Im in his arms"

K: "You said that you went to Jax when you wanted a pill because you feel safe in his arms, so did the pills make oyu feel safe?"

B: "Yeah, I guess they did."

K: "What made you relapse?"

B: "I was on the run, Sonny convinced me that I should run from the police, & someone had left clues leading us to Tiger key. I though I was going to die."

K: "Can you tell me what the pills did?"

B: "They made me feel like I was going to be okay, like I wouldn't die"

K: "Why did you continue taking them once you were back in Port Charles?"

B: "At the time I didn't know, but now I think I do. Every instinct I have was telling me to leave Sonny, to go back to Jax"

K: "Because of danger?"

B: "No, because I wasn't in love with Sonny anymore, only with Jax. I didn't want to believe that this love that I had been chasing after & that had been chasing after me, for four years, was no longer what I wanted. The pills helped ,me to shut down my instincts, to believe in what I had with Sonny"

K: "What made you liste4n to your instincts, or did you?"

B: "The morning of my wedding day, I kept asking Lois who was there, I really just wanted to know if Jax was there. He wasn't. He sent me this" {She pulls her yacht neckace from under her shirt} "necklace, with a note. Lois could tel that I wasn't over him & she urged me to call him to make sure that I wanted to get married. When I called Jax he didn't answer, someone from tha hospital answered & told me that Jax was hurt. As soon as I found out, I knoew that I had to go be with him, so I canceled the wedding"

K: "Why not poepone it?"

B: "Because I also realized that I was still in love with Jax & the moment I told Sonny, I knew that I was no longer in love with him."

K: "Have you wanted to take a pill lately?"

B: "No, not since I frist saw Julia, even if I would have had pills then, I'm sure I wouldn't have taken one"

K: "Then are you having prob;ems with Jax? With your career?"

B: {laughing} "No, everything's great. I never have problems with Jax, not serious one's anyway. We are better then ever. And my career is fine. Jax got my share if L&B back for me. You see, I sold it when I was with Sonny. And Lucy has been great, she said I could come back whenever I want. I'm happier then I can ever remeber being"

K: "What I'm tying to understand is the reason you came here, why you needed to see me"

B: "I guess I did forget to tell you why I need to see you. My life is great right now & I want to make sure it stays that way. I want to know why I made such bd decesions, why I let go of Jax."

J: "That might take awhile"

B: "I'm willing to come as long as it takes" {Brenda looks at her watch} "I didn't realize it was this late, I promised Jax I would meet him for lunch"

K: "I'm busy the rest of this week. I'm free most of next week, you can make an appointment then"

B: "I'll call you & set up an appointment" {Brenda gets up & walks to the door} "Kevin thank you for seeing me"

K: "I'll see you next week"

B: "I'll call" {Brenda leaves}

Back at Jax's penthouse, Jax is drying Brook off from her bath (which he gave her safter she got most of her lunch on her clothes & body). He dresses her & gently lays her in her crib. Jax waits until Brook falls asleep. He goes into the living room. There's a knock at the door, Jax answers the door, tips the dilevery guy, then starts setting up. He had thought about having a romantic meal prepared, instead he had decided to go with a familiar meal, chinese food from NY"s China town, of cour5se he ordered extra green beans for Brenda. Jax sits down in the couch, moving his hands nervously. After a few minutes he gets up & starts pacing, then sitting, then pacing. Thus cycle continues until Brenda comes home. Brenda slips her key in the door & walks in with a big boquet of roses. A pacing Jax doesn't hear Brenda until she speaks.

B: "Honey what's wrong?"

J: "I didn't hear you come in. WHat are those for?" {Jax points to the roses in brenda's hands}

B: "You. A lady was selling them on the side of the road. As soon as I saw them I pulled over & got them for you" {Brenda hands Jax the roses}

J: "They're gorgeous, thank you. I've never seen a boquet of roses with so many colors before, I lobe them"

B: {Laughing} "The lady must have thought I was crazy. I asked for all these boquets of roses, payed for them, then took two out of each & gave the rest back to her. Then I asked her to create a fabulous boquet out of the one's I pulled out. You still haven't told me what's wrong"

J: "Why do you think something's wrong?"

B: "The last time you had that look on your face was when you tried to tell me about Miranda & your parents interupted us"

Jax puts the roses in a vase & sits down on the couch. Jax holds his arms open to Brenda.

J: "come here sweetheart"

Jax pats his lap. Brenda joins him on his lap, his arms wrap around her as is she were a magnet.

J: "This feels so good" {Brenda runs her hands through Jax's golden hair.}

B: "Honey what's wrong? You're starting to scare me"

J: "I'm sorry swetie, i didn't mean to scare you. I was thinking about the last time you went to Kevin's & I was trying to figure out what i would do if you decided to leave again"

B: "Honey that won't happen. I will never hurt you again, i promose"

J: "The food's getting cold"

Brenda & Jax get up & walk to the table.

B: "What's for lunch?"

Jax starts uncovering the dishes.

J: "Chineses from Chona town"

B: "WHat are those off to the side?"

J: "Extra green beans"

B: {Pointing at the four extra boxes} "all of them?"

J: "I got a little carried away"

Jax & Brenda eat in silence. When they finish, Brenda walks over to Jax & kisses him on his forehead.

B: "Thank you honey, that was delicious"

Brook-Lynn starts to cry. Jax starts to stand.

J: "I'll get her"

B: "No, let me, you've taken care of her all day"

Jax sits back down/

WHen Brenda comes back from the guest room that has been turned into a nursery for Brook, Jax is sitting in the big chair, looking out the window. brenda stands beside the chair.

B: "May I join you?"

Jax scoots over to one side of the chair.

B: "On your lap"

Jax moves back into the middle of the chair.

J: "of course"

Brenda moves onto Jax's lap. She takes his hands & pulls his arms across her chest, intertwining her fingers with his.

B: "Jax will you tell me about the time I was away?" Jow you felt."

J: "Do you want to finish reading the letters?"

B: "No, I want you to talk to me about it."

J: "Brenda"

B: "Jax please don't start your, I don't want to hurt you speech. You hurt me more when you shut me out"

J: "WHere do you want me to start?"

B: "The day I moved out"

J: "At first It hurt a little, but I truly believed that we would be together as soon as you recovered. When I saw you at the airport with Sonny, it started hurting more. Then you stuck by me in court & I was more convinced of un then ever. But that's also when I realized I could lose you to Sonny"

B: "What do you mean?"

J: "When you started defending Sonny I could see that I was losin gtou, then when you came to the hothouse with him, to tell me that Dorma was the drug dealer & needed me to play decoy, I knew I was losing you"

B: "How?"

J: "You watched him most of the time. When he ran out, you went after him & didn't bother ti come back, that said a lot to me"

B: "Honey I'm so sorry"

J: "there's no need to be sorry now, it's over"

B: "Go on, please"

J: "When I let go of you, it hurt a lot but it was eveb worse when I found out that you went to Sonny that night, I literally felt like my heart was breaking. I wanted to leave town, to try & leave the pain behind, but I was under court order not to leave"

B: "You were going to leave?"

J: "I would have if I wasn't legally forced to stay in Port charles"

Brenda holds Jax's hand tighter & pulls his arms tighter around her. She deperately wants to turn & look at Jax, but she knows that if she does, she will see the pain in Jax's eyes, & let him stop talking. Since she knows that she needs to hear his pain & he needs to get ot out, she stops herself from looking.

J: "every tie I saw you after that , it got harder. I threw myself into my work & the Nurses Ball, to try & avoid thinking about you, of course nothing helped."

B: "I wanted to talk to you at the Nirses Ball, but I didn't want to deal with Sonny's jealousy"

J: "I trued not to look at you there, I thought it would be easier if I didn't see your gorgeous face. I did see you once, I almost lefy after I saw you with him, it hurt so much, but I was obligated to stay. I did find one thing that helped that night, everytime I looked at V in that dress, I started laughing. I don't see how this is going to help you or me"

B: "Honey I think it will, you need to let me know what I put you through & I need to hear"

J: "When I found out you were being charged with Dorman's murder, I wanted to run to your side, but I knew Sonny would be there & I couldn't watch you with him anymore. When you went on the run, I knew that my greatest fear might come true. You could die because of your relationship with Sonny. Above everything, my hurt & then anger over the loss of our relatonship, the one thing I feared most wasn't that I would never see you or be with you again, but that no one else would because you would die. That's the one thing I can't take."

Jax's tears that have been steadily streaming down his face since he began talking about his feelings when Brenda was gone, turns into a strong, hard, loud, cry. Jax cries so hard that his body begins to tremble. Brenda turns to face Jax.

B: "Honey, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

Jax continues crying, as he cries, the anger, sadness, & fear that he had felt while Brenda was gone & that he had kept bottled up inside him ever since, turned into tears & came out. Jax tries to stop the tears, but he can't. Brenda flips her body over in Jax & lays on top of him, his arms quickly go around her. Even while jax is crying uncontrollably, he soothingly rubs his hand in circles on Brenda's back. She rubs his back, as he rubs hers.

B: "Shhhhhh, it's okay, honey let it out, let it al come out"

The crying lasts for over an hour, at times it scares Brenda. Brenda had rarely seen Jax cry before, when he had cried, it had only been a few tears, never had it been anything close to this. Brenda couldn't even remeber crying like this before. She had broken down in tears many times, usually over Sonny, but she had never cried as hard or as long as Jax was now crying in her arms. Brenda continues to comfort Jax, she repeatedly tells him that everything will be alright, to let it all out, that she should never have let him go, she would never let him go again, & most importantly that she loves him with all of her heart & soul. When Jax's tears finally start to slow down, Brenda repositions her body so that she is sitting on Jax's lap once again, she begins to wipe the tears from Jax's eyes. She continues to silently wipe his tears until he finishes crying.

B: "Feel better?"

J: Pulling Brenda into a hug} "yes"

Jax touches Brenda's hair which is soaked with his tears & looks at her shirt which is also soaked with tears (his shirt is soaked as well, but he doesn't seem to notice).

J: "I'm sorry sweetie, I got you all wet"

B: "that's alright"

Brenda pulls off her shirt & begins unbuttoning Jax's shirt. Jax puts his hans over Brenda's.

B: "Please let me, all I want is to take a bath with you. It'll make you feel better"

J: "I haven't heard Brook-Lynn in a while, I'm going to go check on her"

B: "Jax wait, wil you do something for me first?"

J: "Anything"

B: "Kiss me" {Jax leans towards brenda & they share a long, loving kiss} "Do you want me to run a bath for us?"

J: "Yeah"

***********************************************

The scene isn't quite over yet, but this is the best place I could find to stop. I have another story idea that I've been thinking about. I will continue this story but I was wondering if you would like to see the other story as well. I haven't started it yet, but I've already thought about what I want in it. If you want more details on it e-mail me & I'll give them to you. Let me know what you think of this one too. Bye.

Wishing for a J&B Reunion,

Darlene

GH Angel - Keeper of Jax's love for Brenda

J&B Reuniter

J&B Angel/IRFC