Find yourself a quiet park, forest, or woodland area.
Walk among the trees until you feel comfortable in their presence.
Feel the different bark textures with the palms of your hands.
Smell the scent of the various woods.
Absorb their life's energies as you look upwards to the sprawling branches overhead.
Find the perfect tree that fits your mood. You will know which one is right for you.
Vertical Tree Hug: Encircle it with your arms while gently pressing your cheek to the trunk being careful not to scratch your face. Squeeze tightly. Sigh deeply. Be one with your tree.
Full Body Tree Hug: Sit upon the ground wrapping your legs around the base of the tree and at the same time embracing it with your arms.
Up in the Air Tree Hug: Climb a tree. Sit upon a strong limb and straddle it with your legs. Bend forward and place your belly against it while wrapping your arms about it.
I'm sure there was another step which included "gently having sex with the tree to thank it". Tree huggers should all perish. They should just be tied to one of their precious trees and then set on fire. Or they should all get chopped up by a lumberjack...that'd be somewhat ironic. Honestly, what's the point of hugging trees? The only thing those tye dye-wearing flower-picking stoners have ever done is gotten their asses kicked by normal people. And hugged trees. The same people who hug trees walk away and write bad poetry on trees and then later they go home to their commune and wipe their asses with trees. The person who posted the steps to hugging/raping a tree on that website I copied from probably murdered a tree just so they could write down that retarded little list. And the author of that most likely cries every night because people eat animals. It's okay to be a vegetarian, in my opinion. Just don't preach the reasons to not eat animals to me. I KNOW it's healthier to eat only vegetables. Do I care? No. Meat tastes good, so fuck you, vegetarians. What vegetarians don't see is that by eating salad and all that other vegetarian crap they're murdering life, too. They think killing animals is such a horrible thing just because Fluffy the bunny has a face. Or because Bessy the Ozone-destroying cow screams before Bob the butcher clubs her over the head and chops her up into steak. Vegetables are alive, too. Just because they don't scream or bleed is no reason to think that by killing them you aren't doing something wrong, too. A head of lettuce or an ear of corn dies the same way a chicken or a goat does. Ya hear that, hippies? SALAD IS MURDER.
