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| What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? A frost bite! What did the biscuit say when he got runover? Oh Crumbs What kind of shark do not eat women? Man eating sharks!!!!!!!!!!!! "Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" "Don't worry sir, the spider in your salad will eat it" What's pink and wrinkly and belongs to Grandpa? Grandma! What starts with e and ends with e and only has 1 letter? An Envelope! Why did grandmother put wheels in her rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock and roll! What do you call a snowman in the desert? A puddle. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A Cloud A kid had to go to the toilet really badly so he asked his teacher. His teacher said before you go can you say your alphabet. Kid: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz: Teacher: "Where's the P" Kid: "Running down my leg Miss!" Kid: What did you get for christmas sir? Teacher:I got a cd player,what about you? Kid: Well I got a pair of batteries,and along the bottom of the pack it said 'TOY NOT INCLUDED!' What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! (NO EYE DEER). Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens weren't alive then! Why did goofy go to space? He was looking for pluto! What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper. You: I bet you I can make you say black. What are the colours of the UK flag?? Other person: Red white and blue. You:TOLD YOU I CAN MAKE YOU SAY BLUE!!! Other person: But you said black. You:TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! knock knock who's there? Amos Amos Who? Amosquito What do you call a man with greasy hair? Chip! Why was the teacher cross-eyed? Because he couldn't control his pupils! |
| What's brown and sticky? A Stick!!! What is black, white, and red all over ? A sun burned penguin!! Doctor Doctor I'm turning invisible! Sorry I cant see you now. Why cant cinderella play football? Because she always runs away from the ball!!! Why did the dog jump in the fire? Because he wanted to be a hot-dog! Doctor, Doctor, Everyone ignores me! Next please! Doctor, Doctor, I've got strawberries growing from my head! Just a second, I'll just get some cream! Why did the one eyed bird cross the road? To get to the Birdseye shop What do you call a dinosaur that is stupid? A thick-a-saurus. Doctor Doctor! I think I have swallowed a 10 pound note. Well come back tomorrow and see if there is any change! Why did the skeleton miss the disco party? Because he had nobody to go with! What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Your to young to smoke! Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts! Why did the bumble gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot! Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing!!!! What do you call a angry polar bear? Nothing you just run!! If it takes 6 guys one hour to dig a hole. How long would it take for one guy to dig half a hole? You can't dig half a hole ? How do you get 1000 pikachus on to one bus? Pokemon! (poke-em-on!) A man walks into a bar........ Ouch!!!! Why did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the second hand shop! Whats black and white and red all over? A newspaper! Who is santa clauses wife? MARY Christmas! Why is six afraid of seven? Because 789! (seven ate nine!!!!!) What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt! Why is your brother so small He's only my half brother! |
| Kids Jokes |
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