TOP 20 REASONS DOGS DON'T USE COMPUTERS

20. They can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19. The fetch command is not available on all platforms.
18. It's hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult for them to "mark" every website they visit.
16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've got mail."
15. Fire Hydrant icon is simply frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon screen saver.
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail wagging.
10. Waiting for the introductionof the Microsoft opposable thumb.
9. Three words" Carpal Paw Syndrom.
8. 'Cause dogs ain't geeks! Now, catsm, on the other hand...
7. Barking in the next cubicle keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. Smell U - Smell Me still in beta test.
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question.
4. Salive - coated mouse gets slightly difficult to manouver.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.masters.leg.
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
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