REJECTED NURSERY RHYMES

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.



Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.



Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
That crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.



Simple Simon met a pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman,
"What have you got there?"
Said the pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumbass."



Humpty Dumpty
Sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty
Had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men,
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.



Hey Diddle Diddle
The cat did a piddle
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed
To see such fun
When it died of electric shock.



There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good
She waa very, very good
But when she was bad
She got a furcoat, jewels, and a sports car.





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