Blonde Jokes
Blonde Secretary's Memo To Her Boss
The Blonde Flight Attendant
TO: Boss
FROM: Blondie
RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K
I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:
Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk
I also changed all the days of each week to:
Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak
We are now Y to K compliant. Have a nice dak!!!
A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens.
She hears: "Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ''I've kidnapped you.''
She then wrote a note saying,''I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.'' The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ''How could you do this to a fellow blonde?''
Blonde inventions