Cuteness
by Oren the Otter
I was never the kind of guy you'd call cute. I never have been. On the contrary, I'm the type who's overweight, has crooked facial features, and a complexion that sends brave women running.
Maybe that was what prompted me to do what I did. Ha! Listen to me: "Maybe". That's exactly what prompted me to do it. I went looking for a genie.
It wasn't easy. I must have rubbed every lamp in the city. There was no genie to be found that way, though. After the lamps, I started on bottles. I was kicked out of six liquor stores that way. After bottles came the rings. Try going into the jewelry store and asking to rub all of their rings. Right! The jewelry and music boxes were a little easier, but still turned up nothing.
It was the middle of vacation when it finally happened. I'd invited my friends Chuck and Kell over for dinner and was slaving away at the stove.
"So why are you trying to find a genie, anyway?" asked Kell.
"Yeah." said Chuck. "Do you really think you stand a chance of finding one?"
I didn't answer. I just cooked. I cracked an egg on the stove.
"HALLELUJAH! I'M FREE!"
By the time I knew what was going on, I was under the table staring at this great egg-covered apparition. "Somebody got a paper towel?" it asked. "It was mighty goopy in that egg."
I got up and fetched the paper towels. "Wow!" I said. "Are you really a genie?"
"Sure am. I'm just a little one, though. You know. The one-wish variety. So... whatcha want?
"I want to be cute!" I said without hesitation.
The genie looked over at Kell and Chuck. "You two homely fellows want in and this wish, too?"
"Sure." they replied in unison.
There was a flash and a puff of smoke. When it cleared, the genie was gone. However, I could feel the wish taking effect. My face was changing.
"Am I getting cuter?" I asked as I turned to my friends.
Their faces were filled with shock. Their faces were also filled with whiskers and little black noses.
I ran to the bathroom mirror. Chuck and Kell were right behind, and almost ran me over. As we watched our reflections, big round ears started overtaking our scalps.
"What's happening to us?" asked Kell. "Are we turning into cats?"
"Worse." Chuck answered. "Weasels!"
"Wh-Who could think that weasels are cute?" Kell sputtered.
"He was in an egg." I said to no one in particular. "Someone must have trapped him in an egg. Why?"
"Why?"
"Probably because he was raiding a henhouse! I'll bet he WAS a weasel!"
By now, we were each down to half-size, our clothes starting to fall off of our increasingly furry frames.
"We have to get outside while we still can!" Chuck exclaimed.
Tripping over my pants and my tail, I made my way to the door. Reaching up, I managed to turn the knob enough to open it.
Kell and Chuck scampered up the stairs to the front door and managed to push it open. A moment later, we were standing together on the front lawn, in the form of three young weasels.
We looked at each other and at ourselves. "You know what?" I said. "We are kind of cute."
"So what do we do now?" asked Chuck.
"I wanna go play!" Kell declared.
"YEAH!" Chuck and I agreed in unison.
And so three little weasels scampered off toward the woods headed for a lifetime of fun.