Lindy was tired. She had been working a very long day, and her back was killing her. She popped an assortment of pills in her mouth and washed them down with a glass of lemon soda. She could only hope that they were quick in relieving the pain which her crippled back and legs were in.
She stared at the bills on the table. She knew that they weren't going to pay themselves. She also knew that she wasn't going to be able to pay them, either. There simply wasn't enough. She was barely managing to feed herself and her son, as it had been ever since her husband walked out on them.
"I wish." she said to herself. "I wish I could just leave it all behind." She put her head down on the table and began to cry.
"Poor Lindy." said a voice. Lindy did not look up to see who was speaking. "So much hurt, so much worry."
Lindy sniffled.
"I can take you away from it, Lindy." said the voice. She finally looked up to see a strange, pointy-eared man sitting on her table. "Who are you?"
"I am Mi. I can help you."
"Help me? How?"
Mi's fingers began to sparkle with magic. "I can take you someplace where you'll never have to worry about money again. You won't be sick, and your loneliness will be far in the past."
"I like the sound of that."
"What would you say to being a pirate?"
"I pirate? Sounds like fun. Only my back and legs can't take the strain of..."
"Oh, pshaw! Trust Me. If you'd like to be free from this awful life, take my hand."
Lindy reached out to take the sprite's fingers in her own. There was a flash of light, and suddenly, she was standing in the sun looking out over the sea. "What a view!" she declared. She noticed that her voice had changed. It was rougher... almost... animal.
That wasn't the only thing she noticed. Her legs no longer hurt! "My legs! My...legs?" When she looked down to inspect her legs, she discovered that they were no longer pink and freckled. Instead, they were covered with yellow fur and big black-and-white rosettes. They also had two big, fuzzy footpaws. A quick inventory confirmed Lindy's suspicions. She was a jaguar.
"Was this supposed to happen?" Lindy asked Mi, only to find that he had completely disappeared. She looked about to find him, only to discover that the only things she could see where a few square feet of island and an endless expanse of sea.
"That little... He turned me into a jaguar and stuck me on a desert island!" Lindy was more than a little bit angry. With no other options, she sat down on the sand and waited to be rescued.
She didn't have to wait long. Mere minutes passed before a ship came over the horizon. She waved to the oncoming vessel, wondering in the back of her mind how she must look. She knew only that she was a jaguar wearing a short skirt (and only a skirt) and carrying something... a whip? A whip at her side.
"Ahoy!" called a voice from the ship. "Be ye in need of a rescue?"
"Of course not!" she shouted back to the... was that a crow? "I'm waiting for a date with a fish!" As soon as she said it, she realized how dumb it was. She was an animal talking to an animal. She could have been taken seriously.
"Well, hello, there, pretty lady!" said an octopus as he lowered a gangplank toward the tiny island.
Lindy stepped up the gangplank and onto the ship. She realized that the sailors were staring at her, and it felt good. It had been years since a man had looked at her that way. Her new body, feline though it was, both felt good and looked good.
A lemming in a red jacket and a three-cornered hat with an enormous plume stepped up to her. With a tip of his hat, he bowed and said "Welcome to the Fuzzy Doom, my lady. I am Captain Lemmuel Cliffdiver. And you would be...?"
Lindy found that her answer was out of her lips before she noticed that it was wrong. "Lindy Lashtail." she said. But why? Her real name was Morris. Perhaps this was a side effect of being a talking jaguar. As she pondered this, she added "Luckiest lash on land or lake." What did she mean by that?
"Can we offer you a ride somewhere?"
Unfortunately, there was no intelligent answer to that one. "I'm afraid I have no place to go." she replied. "And nothing to do once I get there."
"Maybe you'd consider servin' with us!" suggested a housecat with an accordion. "There's plenty of adventure to be had aboard the Fuzzy Doom."
Just from looking at the cat, Lindy could see that he had a special kind of adventure in mind. She didn't know whether to feel adored or ogled. She did, however, see that her wish was about to be granted. She wanted freedom and adventure. Here it was. "I'd love to!" she announced.
There was much rejoicing.
"So," said Mi as he sat on the ceiling in Lindy's quarters. "How are you enjoying the pirate's life?"
"It's fun, so far." she replied. "We boarded and looted the Jolly Hedgehog today. It was priceless to see the looks on those scumbags' faces when they realized they were being arrested by a woman!"
"I told you that you'd like it here."
"There's just one thing I'm concerned about."
"Yes?"
"Where is my son, Derek?"
"Derek? Oh, no need to worry about him. He's being taken care of."
"By whom? Where is he?"
"He's all right, Lindy. Don't worry."
Lindy WAS worried. "Listen, Mi, you don't understand! I love my son. I love him more than anything. He's been the only bright spot in my life for so long. He's the reason I'm not dead from despair today."
Mi merely sighed and got up to walk out, still on the ceiling.
"Mi, where are you going? Mi, I want to go back to my son! I need Derek! Mi, please!"
The sprite merely continued on.
Lindy sat down on her cot and cried. She cried as if there a vast ocean of sorrow inside her which could only be released through her tears. She stayed in her quarters all that day, and well into the night, until at last, her hunger drove her to the galley to seek out some breakfast.
Bob Applecart was already up. He was fixing some heavily caffeinated weasel-juice for the night watch. There was a second person there, as well. A rat whom Lindy had not yet met sat at a table munching on some cheese bread."
"Hi, there." said Lindy as she sat down. She was still in a funk, but saw no excuse not to be friendly.
"Hi. What're you doing up so early?"
"Couldn't sleep. You?"
"I'm the brig-keeper. The crew of the Jolly Hedgehog has been keeping me awake. They're all nocturnal."
"I see." Lindy had the inkling that she knew this fellow. "I don't think We've met. Are you new here?"
"Very. I came aboard only a few days ago. Actually, I've never even been a sailor before, let alone a bounty hunter."
"Me neither. I joined up a few days ago too."
The rat sniffled.
"What is it?"
"I miss home. I miss my Mom."
Lindy drew on the table with her claw. "I know how you feel." she said. "I left a son behind. I didn't want to. This little fellow just sort of snatched me away..."
"Little fellow? With big, pointed ears?"
Lindy chuckled. "Half the people here have pointed ears."
"No no... he looked like a human, but he had huge, pointed ears."
The jaguar stared for a few seconds. "How do you know what a human looks like?"
"You'll think I'm crazy."
"Try me."
"I used to be one. My name was..."
"Derek Morris!"
The rat's eyes went wide. "How did you know?"
"Derek, did you think that your own mother wouldn't recognize you?"
"Mom?"
Lindy nodded and smiled.
"MOM!" Derek was instantly across the table and in his mother's arms. Lindy's tears began to flow freely, but this time, they were tears of joy, of relief and of gratitude.
"That's two more down." said Mi as he pulled his list out of the ether and made a pair of check-marks on it. "Only umpteen dozen more to go."