"Yes sir", and with that the frightened secretary hurried out of the room, praying she wouldn't have to deal with her enraged boss anymore that day. And due to the timely intervention of a little sprite, she wouldn't.
Ryan Fortbaum sat in his office smiling... admittedly he had frightened his secretary, and he did regret it, in his own gruff way. He didn't mean to come across that way, but he did. It's not that he was a harsh, cruel, demanding man, though he looked like he might be. He was large, and cut an imposing figure. This, coupled with his gruff manner, made him feared throughout his office. Still, under the right circumstances, you could tell he had a heart of gold, and a sense of humor to match the best.
"Well, _Bozo_, the least I can do, is give you a face to match" a somewhat sweet, though impertinent little voice said.
"Excuse me?!" he said, whirling around to see...nothing. "Who's talking to me!"
"Oh just... a little bird. One who's been told you could use some help. And I have to agree with my sources. You could use a vacation"
There were times, though; that Ryan had a temper that could destroy anything that was in his path. And this little voice was definitely headed that direction. "WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!"
Suddenly, almost right in front of his face, appeared a being who must certainly have been the owner of the voice which was so bothering him. This being, a Sprite, who went by the name of Mi, adopted an air of "valley girl" outrage. "Like, okay, you really do need a, like, break. Take a chill pill or something..."
The comic affect of a male sprite doing this was lost on Ryan Ryan grabbed at Mi, but missed him by several feet.
" LOOK!" I'm trying to help you bozo!" His air of innocence was gone. Completely. "Now do you want to be stuck in this boring, mundane existence, or do you, as I know you do, want to get out a see the world in a way it's never been seen before?!!!!!?!"
Mi my have been small, but his fit of outrage blew Ryan away "Okay, okay, calm down little, well, whatever you are. What is your proposition?" He asked in his business tone.
"That's better. Humph. Alright, as a quick check... Have you in the last week wished, out loud or mentally, to be a place away from this mundane existence?" Mi asked, unrolling a list from thin air, " And hurry up, I've got more people to ask today!"
"Well, now that you ask, yes...' but wh-"
There was a flash of light, accompanied by Mi's voice saying "Good! That's all I needed to know..."
Ryan suddenly found himself on the deck of a ship. " Well Ryan, actually your name is now Rikkets and you ought to get used to it.... Welcome to the HOS Fuzzy Doom."
"Fuzzy Doom!? What landlubber of a fool came up with that-" suddenly Ryan (or Rikkets as we ought to call him) realized two things very suddenly. One; he was speaking with a pirates accent he had never had, and Two; he was speaking through a muzzle. "Ahrrr, Mi? That war yer name, twarnt it? Why am I am 'coon?"
"Why does everyone ask that?" asked Mi in exasperation. " You are in an alternate reality, a storybook reality actually. You are not a raccoon, but a _FURRY_, who happens to resemble a raccoon. You are soon to be appointed the cargo master of this very ship. Your full name is Rikkets Quickpaw. The Fourth. Now, are you ready to meet the crew?"
"That I be! 'Tleast as ready as I'll ever be."
"Good!"
Suddenly Rikkets found himself in the captains chambers watching a Mi had a conversation with the captain who was, of all things, a lemming! 'Well, if you say so Mi, we do need a cargo master..." The lemming came towards him "Well, Rikkets, I'm Cap'n Lem, of the Fuzzy Doom. Mi, here, seems to have appointed you our cargo master, and I won't argue... C'mon out an' meet the crew"
And so, with Mi (who had adopted the form of a muskrat) looking on in pleasure, Rikkets was introduced to the crew, and readily accepted as they prepared to rid the sea of skuzzy pirates. Next, Rikkets was taken to the hold, his domain, and he found it _EMPTY_"
"Empty! What be youse a thinkin' mates? Where be the gold, the plunder, the jewels?" he demanded in his harsh tone. 'Well...?"
Most of the crew seemed drawn off by his gruff manner but Lem was not worried. "Oh, you know how it is Rikkets, we're far to nice too _take_ any treasure. We only are given it, by kindly souls and kindred spirits. Don't worry, it'll be brimming with treasure soon."
With that the crew left, and a very disappointed raccoon sat in his hold.
"_Given!_, Mi, what kind of pirates are these?"
"Mi appeared almost immediately. "Why, the best, of course, none sparing. You'll learn to like them, all of them, even with their quirks. You of course are no exception. Just wait till you do get some real treasure, you'll see." With that Mi left, accidentally (on purpose) dropping a gold coin. Rikkets found his attention drawn to it immediately. It was shiny, and suddenly, it was safely hidden in his cloak. For "Safe-keeping" of course.
It took several days for Rikkets to develop "sea-paws". Soon, and not too soon, he did.
From the crow's nest Jekyll shouted, "Ship ahoy! It be a ship I ain't never seen afore, but she's decked out to attack!
"Must be more pirates!" shouted Lem to his crew, "prepare to board 'er!"
Rikkets found himself in position though he had never boarded a pirate ship Captain Lem brought the Fuzzy Doom up next to the other ship when suddenly he heard "Please don't hurt us!" The speaker was a young fox.
Captain Lem yelled back "And why would we do a thing like that? If you ain't no pirates we won't harm ye!"
The young fox was obviously relieved. "We ain't pirates, though we are greatly afeared of them, sir"
Lem gave the order to board the ship, and soon the crews were enjoying a hot meal, complete with rum, together. Although the "crew" turned out to be a mob of youngsters, who had sailed away from their parents in a warship, and them been stranded. Lem decided to tow them back to the Otterman Empire and leave it up to the Emperor to decide their fate. Rikkets was left in charge of the youngsters, having no other real job to do. They showed him their "treasure", a box that none of them could open. Rikkets had a go at it, but had no luck with it either.
The Fuzzy Doom was heralded as a hero by many worried parents when it returned bearing their children. The crew (Rikkets in particular) was awarded the treasure in the box. It was scrolls, several dozen scrolls, in many different archaic languages. Rikkets (after much disappointment) armed himself with many old texts and began to translate them. Planning to add them to his hold, since he had no other treasure. As the scrolls were deciphered, though, he found that they were stories, of all types, and genres. And in these stories, Rikkets discovered the greatest treasure of all.