A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE FURTHEST EXTENT

One glorious day, Eddie Van Halen and Ted Nugent got the idea of starting up a side project and they call it "A Pack of Zombies" named after the old French, film-noire short of 1878. It happened to be the peak of flu season when the Nuge came down with with a fierce case of it and was forced to resign. But EVH was in it for the long run. He called up local musicians, Dave Germain, Matt Deluge, and Scott Mills to join the madness. In our 3rd week, EVH missed a practice and we decided we couldn't keep him in the band if he was going to be so careless. On 30 October 1999, we recruited the infamous shred-legend Jon Cendrowski to pick up the ax for "A Pack of Zombies".

Until April of the following year we just got together at Matt's house and did absolutely nothing but pretend to play music, eat pizza and watch stupid movies. That's when Dave G threw down a birthday party so we jammed 5 shitty covers there. Everyone said we did a great job but they had to be lying through their teeth cuz man we sucked.

Anyways, Jon played guitar, Matt played drums, and Dave and Scott traded off bass and vocals. After one more show with the same lineup, just more shitty covers, Dave permanently took the vocals and Scott started rippin' it up on the bass. Starting in July of 2000, we started some original stuff. They were "Commercial Suicide", "Two Stalls, No Walls", "Gimme A Break", and "Whores!". Needless to say, they all sucked at the time, too. Maybe even worse than the covers. Sadly, a month later, August 8th, Dave packed his bags and quit the band in a huff due to musical differences.

The band was in a tizzy! Matt got a fierce addiction to pornography, Scott started pickin' up prostitutes like a madman, and when Jon's solo career took a nosedive, he turned to stamp collecting and comic books.

Then on one fateful night, the Lord spoke to Scott and told him he would be stricken down if he didn't reunite the band. The 3 remaining members got back together for the "A Pack of Zombies" reunion tour with "The Cure" and "Candlebox" to jam out some of their old tunes (and this time they were actually in tune!).

At the final show of the tour at Madison Square Garden, Scott was backstage chuggin' down a Fruitopia Strawberry Passion awareness when he came across "Candlebox" roadie Dave Bodanyi. He happened to be a great drummer, and here's the twist, our band was looking for a new drummer because Matt was bored of the ole drumkit and wanted to go the way of the vocals. So September 4th, we invited Dave B to jam with us. After one practice, the band was blown away by Dave B's raw talent. Now all of our old songs were put to faster drumbeats and they actually sound good! Now we were a new band and needed a new name.

So then one day, Scott and Jon were chilling in Sound/Video tech, Eric Teschke's kitchen, when we started playing with this crazy banana hook and went off on a tangent about it. That's when Eric said, "Man, you guys take everything to the furthest extent!" And the new name was born.

The first month showed the band could truly rock as they played a couple of shows and cleaned up old material. But the band hit a low point in the next month as Dave sprained his neck in a car accident which set back all practicing for the next month. The band went into seclusion, mainly living in the Austrialian outback for over a month. After that, the band felt that their souls had been cleansed and their spirits lifted and they really got in touch with nature.

Then came about 2001, new original songs were shooting out everywhere, including even more cleaning up of old tunes. Bored of life in the city, the band traveled back to Austrialia for vacation. While there, Scott was looking at map on a hike when he didn't see the huge 400 foot dropoff. He went tumbling down to what we thought would be his demise. By some miracle, he had lived. He had to be airlifted out and just before reaching the hospital, the helicopter was blown to smitherines by a terrorist group. The shredded helicopter and its passengers fell from high, high in the air. Scott smacked the pavement just outside the hospital and somehow still had the life left in him to crawl into the hospital. After a quick checkup he walked out of there with a minor skinned knee. A month later he got food poisoning and died.
That's is where we end our story...or is it?