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February 2004 PHONE A series of deaths may be linked to a certain mobile phone number that's a direct line to vengeful evil! Murderous stalker sideplot ends laughably, symptomatic of an overall laziness and amateurishness. There's a hair clog in one scene and, other than the possessed little girl wth creepy features, that's as scary as it gets. Unclean spawn of RING, acting courtesy of Botox - I can smell Hollywood buying the remake rights and the result can't help but be an improvement. D SHAOLIN SOCCER Teaming up with a crippled former soccer star as their coach, down-on-their luck former shaolin masters attempt to recoup their skills for a shot at competitive soccer. Capital "B" broad comedy with a sporty focus and annoying lead actor reminiscent of LAGAAN. Unfortunately it settles for being slapdash and not a moment manages to be as watchable as LAGAAN's hour-long cricket game. With physicality replaced by too much crappy CGI and all that half-assedness SHAOLIN SOCCER is a rather joyless sit. Your enjoyment may be dependent on your reservoir of goodwill. This isn't going to smell any better the longer Miramax holds onto it. D+ |
