Disclaimer: The Drew Carey Show and it's characters
belong to Warner Brothers/AOL-Time Warner, Mohawk
Productions, Bruce Helford, Drew, I think and possibly a few other
people who may own a piece but I am not one of them.
I have used them here without permission to create a
little story of my own. The character of Angel is my
own creation.
Summary: Years of rejection have slowly eaten away
at poor Lewis' self esteem so that when the woman of
his dreams literally falls into his lap, he can hardly
believe she has any interest in him at all.
Rated: PG
Author's Note: I hope this is at least semi-enjoyable
reading. Be prepared to see the vulnerable side of
Lewis. Feedback is always welcome.
Angels
Part 1 - Maybe I'm Amazed
By Ruth (fxnoir@aol.com)
In a little suburb outside of Cleveland, Ohio, called
Parma, there lived four best friends. There was Kate:
Confident, pretty, but she couldn't seem to find the
right guy although it wasn't for lack of trying. Believe
me...it definitely was NOT for lack of trying. There was
Drew: Kinda chubby, wears glasses and a crew cut
straight out of the '50s and an all around sweet guy.
There was Oswald: The adorable man-child. Cute, naive
and gullible as any man-child would be. And finally, there
was Lewis: Tall, lanky, a bit odd and probably smarter
than he let on. The four had a favorite hangout called
The Warsaw, the neighborhood bar. But then, if you're
reading this, you probably already know all these things.
Anyway...
Friday
9:37pm
The Warsaw
Kate, Drew, Lewis and Oswald were all gathered
around their usual table near the jukebox. Their topic
of discussion was a common one for them.
"I don't think I'm ever going to find the right person,"
whined Kate. "I've dated probably every eligible guy in
this city - "
"And even some uneligible ones," cut in Drew as
he brought his mug of beer to his lips. Kate rolled her eyes.
"Can I finish?" she said. "I've dated every eligible guy - "
"You've never dated me," said Lewis.
"What?" Kate asked, sounding exasperated for being
cut off again.
"You've never dated me."
"Oh, please..."
"What! What's wrong with me?" Lewis asked.
"Where do I start...?" Kate said sarcastically.
Lewis made his best "screw you" face. "Nice, Kate."
He turned to Oswald on his left who had been chuckling quietly.
"Shut-up, Oswald."
"Sorry," Oswald said through a smirk.
"ANYWAY..." Kate began again. "Now I've completely
forgotten what I was trying to say."
"You were saying," began Drew, "how you've dated
every guy in town and none of them were good enough
for you."
"That is NOT what I was saying!"
"Oh, then there *was* someone good enough for you?"
"No...I mean, yes! I don't know! It's not like that!"
Kate blurted out desperately. Lewis and Oswald chuckled.
Drew smiled and took another sip of beer.
"So then what *is* it like, Kate?" Drew asked. He loved
to tease Kate.
"It's...it's...Well it's not like any of you are doing any
better in the relationship department!" Kate finally
stammered out.
"We'll all find someone," Drew said confidently.
"There's a person out there for each one of us."
"Yeah," Oswald agreed. "We just have to keep looking."
"Not me," said Lewis after a sip of beer. "I'm giving
up looking."
"You're giving up looking?" asked Drew.
"That's right."
"You're going to give up, just like that, and spend
your life alone?"
"Not at all," replied Lewis. "See, if there's someone
out there for me, like you say, then we'll inevitably bump
into eachother one way or another, so why waste all the
energy searching?"
"Makes sense to me," agreed Oswald.
"That's crazy, Lewis," said Kate.
"So," Drew began, "you're going to sit around and
wait for the right woman to just fall into your lap?"
"Like an angel from heaven," Lewis said while turning
in his chair towards Drew and holding up his mug in a
sort of mock toast. As he brought the mug back down
to his lips he was suddenly jarred, splashing beer all
over his face. When he recovered he found...a woman
in his lap!
"Oh, EXCUSE ME!" she was yelling after someone.
"I didn't mean to be standing there IN PLAIN SIGHT!"
She looked down at herself and realized she had spilled
her own beer on the front of her shirt. "Oh, look at that,"
she said and glanced at Drew and Kate who were in
her direct line of vision. "I'm so sorry. It's gotten a bit
crowded in here. I was shoved..."
"Here," said Kate while handing her some cocktail
napkins to clean herself off. The woman gratefully took
the napkins and began dabbing at herself.
Drew was in a prime position to take note of the
newcomer. She had long, auburn hair, pretty green eyes,
manicured nails, and she looked quite petite, although
most women would look petite sitting on Lewis' lap.
Which she still hadn't attempted to get up from, nor
had she even turned to look at him yet. Her skin was
like a china doll's and her eyelashes went on forever.
It was hard to guess her age, she could have been
anywhere from 23 to 33. Drew was in love.
"You know, it should be a crime to spill someone's
beer," Drew said as a lame pick up line.
"I'm afraid she'd be hauled off to prison then,"
said Lewis who had been looking at the back of her
head the entire time. "Do you think I could have a couple
of those?" he asked, referring to the cocktail napkins.
"Oh my God! I'm sorry," the woman said as she
turned in Lewis' lap to face him. "Look at me being
all self absorbed and - " She stopped in the middle of
her sentence as her eyes met Lewis'. " - and let me
take care of that," she continued and began to wipe
off Lewis' face. Lewis sat perfectly still, without even
blinking, as the woman gently blotted up the beer.
Drew, Kate and Oswald watched in amazment.
"Wow," said Oswald, breaking the silence at the
table, "it really worked."
"Yeah, one of Lewis' ideas actually worked," said
Kate, a confused expression on her face. Drew picked up an imaginary phone receiver.
"Hello, Hell? How's the weather down there? Frozen?
I see. Thanks." Drew hung up the imaginary phone.
"Yep, Hell froze over."
"If we go to the window we'll probably see pigs flying,"
added Kate. Drew started to look around expectantly.
"What's wrong, Drew?" asked Oswald.
"Oh, nothing," Drew said while still looking around.
"I guess I was waiting for Mimi to make some joke out
of that at my expense but she's not around."
In the meantime, Lewis had finally started blinking
again but he still wasn't moving a muscle.
"So what's your name?" asked the woman.
"My name?" Lewis said as if it was the most
complicated question he had ever been asked.
"Go ahead and answer her," said Oswald as
he punched Lewis in the arm.
"AHHHH! Don't touch me!" yelled Lewis. The
woman jumped off his lap and stood over him.
"Are you hurt?" she said with genuine concern.
"No, I'm just afraid if I move I'll wake up." A smile
spread across the woman's face.
"Lewis, you're not asleep," assured Kate.
"I'm not?"
"No."
"You're sure?"
"Yes, Lewis, I'm positive." Lewis slowly relaxed
and slouched down a little in his chair. He looked up
at the woman hovering over him.
"Then I'm not dreaming?"
Drew rolled his eyes. "Well, that did it. No one
falls for that line anymore," he said. But the woman's
smile just grew. "Oh God, she fell for it!"
"No, Drew," began Kate, "I don't think it was a line.
Look at him. Awww...it's so sweet!"
"Yeah, disgustingly sweet," sneered Drew. Lewis was almost glowing
as he stared at the woman whose name he still didn't know.
That realization snapped him out of his reverie.
"I...I'm Lewis," he stammered out. He reached his
hand toward her and she shook it.
"It's nice to meet you, Lewis," she said, batting her
eyelashes seductively at him. Lewis was almost
stunned into silence again but he managed to keep
a modicum of control.
"I didn't get your name," he said to her.
"Angel," she said. Drew put his head down on
the table.
"Tell me she didn't just say that," Drew said.
"Wow!" exclaimed Oswald. "It's just like he
said! 'An Angel from Heaven!' Hey, you're not really
from Heaven are you?" Angel gave a confused look
at Oswald.
"Pardon?" she said. Lewis looked sheepish as he
began to make introductions.
"This is Oswald," he started. "And that's Drew and Kate."
"Hey," said Kate. Drew raised his hand and waved
a greeting but he kept his head down on the table.
"Why don't you pull up a chair," offered Oswald.
"Thanks, I will." At that, she turned and grabbed a
chair right out from under someone who was just about
to sit in it. The guy fell on his rear, cursing. Kate, Drew,
who finally lifted his head, Lewis and Oswald all looked
at her in astonishment as she pulled the chair up
between Drew and Lewis. Angel looked back at all of them.
"Oh, it's OK," she said. "That was the guy who
shoved me." Everyone nodded in understanding.
"Although, maybe I should have thanked him instead,"
she said, turning her gaze toward Lewis again. Lewis
could only stare back.
"Here we go again," sighed Drew. Kate smacked
him in the arm.
"You're just jealous," she said to Drew. Drew stuck
his tongue out at Kate. "That's mature."
"I'm going to go up and get another beer," Angel
suddenly said. "Do any of you need a another?" They all
did. "I'll get a pitcher. Be right back." Angel threw one
more look at Lewis and then walked to the bar.
"Whoa!" started Oswald. "She's hot!"
"Yeah," smiled Lewis as he looked after her. "Hey, yeah..."
he added, sounding confused.
"What's wrong, Buddy?" asked Oswald.
"What's she want with me?"
"C'mon, Lewis! You're as handsome as any guy
in here," Oswald said as he gestured toward the room.
Lewis just looked at Oswald.
"There are some things you should just keep to
yourself, Oswald."
"No, really, Lewis! You're a good looking guy!"
"Really, Oswald. Stop."
"What, you think I'd lie to you about that?"
"No, but I'm beginning to question all those times
you 'accidentally' walked in on me while I was in the
shower."
"Oswald's right," Kate suddenly said. Everyone
looked at her.
"Oh?" Drew said.
"Do go on," said Lewis as he leaned his elbow
on the table and cupped his chin in his hand.
"Well," Kate went on a bit uncomfortably, "I know
what I said before but there's really nothing wrong with
you...physically. I mean, you're a little too tall and
gangly, but some girls like that," she pointed out quickly.
"Gangly?" frowned Lewis. "What does that mean,
I'm 'gangly'?"
"Well, you know...you're all arms and legs...but some - "
"Yeah, 'some girls like that.' You're not making me
feel any better, Kate." Kate looked down at the table
in defeat.
"Listen, we don't even know anything about her,"
said Drew. "Maybe there's something wrong with
her we don't know about yet."
"Wait a minute!" Lewis said, sounding a tad annoyed.
"Why does there have to be something wrong with her?
Just because she seems to like me?"
"You started it, Lewis! Heck, we all think you're
a great guy. Why shouldn't she?"
"I don't know," said Lewis sheepishly.
"She's coming back," Oswald said quickly. Angel
walked up to the table and set down a pitcher of beer.
"The bartender said you guys drink Buzz Beer?" she
said inquisitively. Everyone smiled.
"Best beer in town," Lewis said as he poured some
in her mug. "Taste it and tell us what ya think." Angel
hesitated a moment but then took a sip.
"Oh my God," she groaned with pleasure. "Sex
should be this good." Everyone froze and looked at
Lewis expectantly. Angel was too taken with her beer to notice.
"What?" he finally said.
Drew shrugged. "Nothing."
Kate leaned close to Drew's ear. "Is it just me,"
she whispered, "or did Lewis just *not* say what we
expected him to say?"
"You mean," Drew whispered back, "something like,
'It can be', or 'maybe you've just never been properly stimulated'?"
Drew waggled his eyebrows up and down.
"Exactly!"
"It's not just you."
"So you guys really make this?" Angel was saying.
"That's right!" said Oswald. "We have the brewery
in Drew's garage."
"Yeah," said Lewis, "I'll be happy to show it to you
some time...if you want."
Angel smiled sweetly at him. "That'd be great."
"So, Angel," began Kate, "where are you from?
I don't think any of us have ever seen you around here before."
"Well, I just moved here from the Detroit area."
"How come?" asked Oswald.
"I was transfered out here by the people I work for."
"What company?" Lewis asked as he took a sip of beer.
"Well, I work for the government. They sent me to
work for one of their labs, DrugCo." Lewis sprayed beer
across the table.
"I'm sorry...did you say, 'DrugCo'?" he asked.
"Yeah," Angel replied, looking a little confused
and wiping off some beer spray that hit her. "Why, is that bad?"
"What will you be doing there?"
"Well, I guess you could say I'll be Head Scientist."
Lewis' jaw dropped. "Oh God, you're smart too."
Angel shrugged. "It's mostly paperwork. Why does
everyone have that look on their face?"
Drew smiled. "You'll never guess where Lewis works."
Angel gasped and turned to Lewis. "No! DrugCo?"
Lewis nodded. "What do you do there?"
Lewis lowered his head. "I'm the Janitorial Supervisor,"
he muttered.
"Oh, so you're probably usually on the night shift. I'll
have to find an excuse to work a few of those," she said
and winked at him.
"I don't think you heard me," said Lewis. "I'm a janitor."
"Mmm-hmm," Angel said into her beer as she drank.
"Janitorial Supervisor. I heard you."
Lewis was looking utterly confused at this point.
"That doesn't bother you?"
"No. Should it?"
"Well, no, actually. It shouldn't. I guess." Angel
smiled and shook her head. She placed a hand over
Lewis' and looked him right in the eyes.
"You know, you're awfully hard on yourself. So
far I can't find any reason for you to be." Lewis' eyes
dropped from hers and focused on their hands. Her hand
looked like a child's compared to his.
"And you're too good to be true," he said quietly.
"Uh...hey Drew, Oswald," began Kate, "I think we
need some more, um...cocktail napkins! Yeah! Why don't
you guys come with me to the bar and help me get some?"
she hinted.
"Aw, Kate, can't you get those yourself?" asked Oswald.
"It's not like they're heavy or anything."
"Oh for God's sake, Oswald!" said Drew. "She was
subtly trying to tell you that we should give these two a
couple of minutes alone!"
"Ohhhh...why didn't you just say so?"
Kate sighed in frustration. Angel and Lewis were
chuckling.
"It's OK, guys," said Lewis. "I have to go to work
now for a little bit anyway."
"Actually," said Angel, "I need to go in and check
on a couple of experiments and do some paperwork that
should have been done already. Do you want a ride, Lewis?"
"Sure. I'll just run up and change and be right back down."
"Run up...?"
"I live upstairs...with Oswald." Angel looked over
at Oswald who smiled and waved. "You still interested?"
asked Lewis. She gave him a smile that left him with
little doubt as to why she was named Angel.
"Still interested," she said while standing up.
"I'll go out and bring my car around. Meet you out front
in a few minutes?"
"I'll be there," Lewis said as he stood up. Angel
blinked a few times as she craned her head up to see
him. If she wasn't wearing three inch heels he'd easily
be over a foot taller than her.
"Holy crap!" she exclaimed. "I guess I didn't realize
how tall you are!"
"You don't like tall?" Lewis said with a hint of panic.
"No, tall's fine. It'll make things more interesting,"
she said a bit mischieviously. She looked at the rest
of the table. "It was nice meeting all of you!" With that,
she headed for the door. Lewis had to steady himself
against a chair.
"Everything OK, Buddy?" Oswald asked cautiously.
Lewis blinked a few more times to clear his head.
"Yeah. I just always wondered..."
"Wondered what?" said Kate.
"I always wondered if you'd just know instantly when
you met The One." No one said anything for a few seconds.
"Do you?" Kate finally dared to ask.
"Yeah," Lewis said quietly. He smiled. "Yeah, you do."
End Part 1
Stay tuned for Part 2...The Chemicals Between Us
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