Death Awaits You All!
TITLE: Death Awaits You All!
AUTHOR: Fyre
EMAIL: Fyredansa@hotmail.com
SUMMARY: I'm not telling!
FEEDBACK: It's every writer's bread and water...sorta
DISTRIBUTION: If you want it, please just ask :)
SPOILERS: Season 4 - Buffy
COUPLE: Erm...wait n see
RATING: PG-16
DISCLAIMER: Ain't mine. Ain't fair. Ain't anything more to say.
CLASSIFICATION: Nice single fic that could spawn a sequel!
NOTES: This was actually another improv from Having a Thought - Improv: Silver, fitting, hollow, wander- Written : 11/12/2000
DEDICATED: To Muffy - for the quote, the idea and some naughty, nutty ideas!
_________________________________________
"Soddin' American telly."
Slapping the side of the box, wiggling the aerial with his free hand, Spike's nostrils flared in annoyance as the picture refused to emerge out of the pool of static which it had plunged into seconds earlier.
One of his empty bottles shattering against the stone wall of the crypt took a minuscule edge off his temper, as he continued to wrestle with the aerial, muttering curses under his breath.
"Spikey-poos?" A sing-song voice cooed abrasively from the door of the crypt. "Guess who it is!"
Glancing around, his eyes burning liquid gold, he growled furiously at her. "Will you sod off, you stupid bint!"
Harmony blinked stupidly at him. "But it's our night, remember?" Her voice shifted to the usual, annoying whine, directed at his back. "You said you wouldn't forget."
Fiddling with the aerial, the blonde vampire rolled his eyes, focusing on the blur of static, random, senseless words breaking through the electronic crackle.
"Spikey?" He ignored the sound of one delicate, Prada-encased foot stamping impatiently on the stone floor. "Listen to me, dammit!"
"Would I do anything but, sweetpea?" He muttered under his breath, his voice muffled by the crackle of the TV.
"Fine!" He could almost see her pouting in his head. She just didn't have the puppy eyes down to pat yet. "If you don't listen, I'm just going to walk out of here and you can spend our anniversary on your own."
"Fine by me, petal." Snatching his bottle of whisky that he had managed to nab from the Watcher, he downed a mouthful, never taking his eyes off the screen.
There was a moments silence.
"Spike?" The whine had got worse.
Another drink followed that single plaintive whimper, his attention not even flicking to the girl behind him.
"That's it." The dainty foot stamped again. "I'm leaving. Don't you try to stop me."
With a drunken grin on his face, Spike mumbled. "Wouldn't think of doing such a thing, pumpkin."
Still, there was no sign that she had left.
" Presenting the Marathon, we have the man who once told us ‘Your mother is an ‘amster and your father spells of elderberries.’!"
The bizarre accent rang out of the box, a cackle of triumph erupting from the somewhat inebriated vampire.
"You're watching that again?" The disdain in her tone made it clear she didn't approve. When he didn't reply, she threw her hands in the air and threatened to storm off to find someone to kill.
Settling on his seat in front of the telly, the screen seemed to dance before his eyes, more scotch managing to find its way down his throat to his empty stomach, his ears closed to his ‘lover’ and her whining.
Film after film played, the images growing hazier and hazier as he watched, until the familiar feeling of sinking into drunken unconsciousness hit him like a soft fluffy pillow.
~~~~~
Blinking blearily, Spike cradled his head in his hands with a low mumble of a curse, the need for alcohol still undiminished, but his ‘girlfriend’ cheerfully absent.
If he was right, he'd only been out of it for a minute or so, but he'd still woken for his favourite scene from his favourite one of the films, a wide grin crossing his face.
Swaying on his feet, he loosened his grip on the bottle in his hand, looking down in surprise as it shattered on the stone floor.
"Whatta mess." He tutted gravely, then blinked at the screen again, smacking his lips. "Gotta get me one of them." He frowned, deep in thought, wrinkling his brow. "Where would I get one?"
Glaring around the crypt, he was annoyed when the stone walls didn't answer him.
"C'mon, guys." He mumbled fumbling in his pocket for his bottle of vodka. "That bloody doll talked to Dru...why won't the soddin' walls talk to me?"
He waited a long moment for an answer.
"I don't need yez." Crunching his way across the broken bottle, he pulled his duster on. "I know where I'm going...I think..."
~~~~~
Clutching the large box's handles with both hands, the bleached vampire glanced around furtively, making certain he hadn't been spotted, whistling the 'Mission Impossible' theme as he made his dizzy way down the street.
"Do we even wanna know what he's doing?" Across the street, Xander looked down at his girlfriend.
Anya shrugged, watching the vampire stumble, a wide grin on his pale features. "He looks like he's drunk." She replied absently. "I think he doesn't know what he's doing anyway."
Xander nodded, his shaggy, dark hair flopping over his brown eyes uncontrollably. "How many vampires do you know that visit the all night pet store on a Saturday?" He jokingly remarked.
"Actually..." Anya raised her face to his.
"Never mind." He hastily added, silencing her with a kiss. "It's not something that I need to know so I can continue living in peace and prosperity."
"You might think so." She winked coyly, dragging him into the nearest shop doorway she could find, her eyes gleaming with suggestive mischief.
~~~~~
The frantic battering on the door stirred the sleepy Scoobies from their stupor.
Buffy and Riley raised their faces simultaneously from the table they had been working at, both trying not to laugh as they noticed traces of newsprint on one anothers skin.
Giles shambled to his feet, a heap of books and papers scattering from his lap, his glasses sliding down his nose as he picked his way over Tara and Willow, both of whom seemed buried in books about the latest threat that was due to descend on Sunnydale.
Xander and Anya had never made it back from their trip to the Donut shop, but that wasn't exactly anything new. They rarely did anything useful as it was.
Stumbling around the sofa, he reached the front door as it exploded inward, a drunken vampire collapsing in, liquor spilling from the bottle in his hand, his eyes rolling in his head.
"What's he doing here?" Riley sighed irritably.
"Death." Spike's pale lips opened slightly, his eyes slitting, blue gleaming beneath unnaturally grey lids. "Death..."
"Huh?"
In a blink, the vampire was on his feet, swaying, his dazed bluey-gold eyes straying over each of them, as he tried to figure out where he was.
"Death." He repeated, his voice rising to a shrill falsetto, announcing a worryingly familiar quote. "Death awaits you all! With big nasty pointy teeth!"
"Yes, Spike." Buffy gently took the vampire by the arm, steering him firmly towards the door. "We watch Monty Python too. Now, run along and have fun, you non-scary creature of the night, you."
"NO!" The vampire slammed his feet against the door, himself in, a pout forming on his face. "Death awaits you all..."
He was abruptly cut off by a punch in the jaw from the Slayer, before being roughly tossed out of the apartment.
"Why don't you just get that uninvite spell, Giles?" She glared at the Watcher, seeming slightly peeved.
Giles gave her a wry grin. "You have to a-admit it is rather amusing, Buffy." He inclined his head in the direction of the door. "A-A Master Vampire running in and quoting M-Monty Python."
"Not when you live under the constant threat of vampires, Giles." She reminded him quietly.
Willow rubbed her eyes, leaning her head on Tara's shoulder. "It is kinda funny, Buff. I mean, quoting about a demon rabbit...he must have been really drunk."
With a sigh, Buffy returned to her seat at the table. "I've been putting up with that jerk for a year now. Can't I just stake him?"
"He-he has supplied some useful support and information." Giles reluctantly admitted, unwilling to say he did have a growing fondness for the only other Brit in the group - and one that was older than him at that.
"Yeah." Always the sceptic, the Slayer tossed her stake up and caught it deftly. "And now, with his latest piece of useful information, we'll all be on the look out for a demon bunny with red eyes and sharp teeth...please can I stake him?"
"Calm down, Buffy." Riley moved behind her, rubbing her shoulders gently. "How about we go out and stake a few vamps...let off some steam?"
"Sounds good to me." The Slayer got to her feet, running a hand through her mussed hair. "And if we see any demon bunnies," She murmured up to her boyfriend. "I'll buy Spike a drink next time I see him."
With a giggle, Spike tottered off into the darkness, using the walls and fences to keep himself upright.
~~~~~
Three days had passed since Spike's drunken outburst and he hadn't left his crypt since, his head still ringing with the after-effects of three bottles of scotch, two of vodka and various numbers of different beers...not to mention his other…entertainment.
Staring at the TV, his eyes half-glazed, he stroked the soft fur of his new pet, the soft, white fur fluffing indignantly under his hand, a sign of impatience, he had come to realise.
"Be quiet." He muttered, dropping the little furball carelessly on the floor. "We go out when I say it's time."
Pinkish-red eyes stared balefully up at him, as if demanding more respect than the vampire had yet decided to give it, it's delicate pink nose twitching furiously.
"Don't you be giving me that look." Spike glared back at the fuzzy critter.
Sitting up on its hind paws, it raised one forepaw in what looked like a mock Nazi salute, it's other forepaw raised in front of its face, hiding its glaringly pink eyes.
Spike turned his attention back to the TV with a muffled snort of laughter. "William the Bloody and his soddin' Circus rabbit. Can I get more pathetic?"
~~~~~
Sitting on the bench, Riley could feel the chill of the marble seeping through his rough trousers, as he waited for Buffy. He had finished his rounds with no sign of vamp activity. She obviously hadn't had the same kind of luck.
A squeak from his feet attracted his attention, something soft brushing against his ankle.
Looking down, he grinned. "Well, hey there, little fella." The rabbit blinked up at him, looking cute. "You must be that demon rabbit Spike was telling us about."
Scooping the furry white body up in his hands, he lifted the unresisting bunny into his lap, rubbing between its long, pert ears with a chuckle.
"Fang?" He straightened up, hearing that ominously familiar English accent from somewhere around the cemetery. "Dammit, Fang, where are you? It's time for yer bloody dinner!"
"Looking for something, Hostile?" Rising, he turned to face Spike as the vampire stumbled into the clearing, a frantic look on his face as he spotted Riley with his pet.
"Er...Riley...mate..."
Riley looked at him, suspicious. "What are you up to, Spike?"
The vampire spread his hands. "Just enjoying the air, mate. Why would I be up to anything?"
"You called me Riley." The commando narrowed his eyes. "You are up to something, aren't you?"
Shaking his head vehemently, Spike dived forward and snatched the rabbit from Riley's arms, stuffing it unceremoniously into the confines of his duster. "Just looking for my...er...dinner."
"You can't bite it, Spike."
The vampire glared at the young human coldly. "Just cos I'm a big bad vampire doesn't mean I can't have a fluffy little bunny for company and bloody hell...I just said that out loud, didn't I?"
"Quit while you're ahead." Riley advised with a grin. "I won't tell anyone about your little secret pet."
"You better not." Spike glared threateningly at the ex-commando.
Riley gave a snort of laughter. "Or else you'll set your demon bunny on me, huh?"
As the vampire melted away into the shadows, he lifted the gold-eyed, fanged rabbit out of his coat, casting a black look in the direction of his enemy.
"You'd be surprised, Fishboy. Very surprised."
~~~~~
"So...uh...Spike, I hear you have a...pet." Willow stifled a giggle at the vampire's expression. "Don't worry...it is very normal."
"He told you, didn't he, Red?" Spike's eyes flashed with demonic fire, his lips curling back from his fangs, his anger more than self-evident.
Willow gnawed her lip. "Actually, it was Tara. She said Buffy told her and Anya."
"So all of you, every one of the damn gang knows that I have a pet rabbit called Fang?" A pained expression wrinkled his visage. "Fan-bloody-tastic."
"It's called Fang?" The red head near squealed with laughter, increasing the vampire's ire and embarrassment a hundred times over. “That is so cute, Spike."
"That's what you say now." He growled, stalking away through the deserted campus, leaving the red head witch to make her own way to Tara's room.
Returning to his crypt, he gave a shrill whistle, catching the attention of his pet, wild, white fur rippling as the little creature pulled itself out of a small hiding hole in the floor.
"What's say we go and try some good Iowa home-cooking?" He suggested coolly, lifting the bunny up and tucking into his coat.
The little white head nodded, an odd gesture for a rabbit to make, even odder when added to the inch-long fangs protruding from its mouth and it's glowing eyes.
"Now, now." Spike chastised with a grin. "Put that face away. We don't want to scare the boy, do we?" Immediately, the fur smoothed out, pink eyes blinking cutely up at him. "That's better."
Rubbing his nose against the fuzzy rabbit's, he allowed himself a smug smirk. This was definitely going to puzzle the Watcher and the bitch.
~~~~~
At his usual spot, Riley waited for Buffy patiently, knowing she wouldn't take kindly to him interrupting her fight.
A steady thump-thump-thump rhythm abruptly pounded against his leg, making him look down in surprise, a yell of disgust falling from his lips as he spotted his tiny, white assailant eagerly humping his calf.
"Aw, Captain Cardboard." Spike drawled from his position, leaning against a tree trunk nearby. "Looks like you made a new friend. How cute." The vampire shook his head with a grin. "It really is a kodak moment, innit?"
"Spike, call this damn bunny of yours off." Riley growled threateningly, shaking his foot, trying to dislodge the rabbit, its tiny claws gripping his leg firmly.
The vampire chuckled softly. "You know, Riley, mate." He murmured thoughtfully, examining the chipped varnish on the nails of his left hand. "I wasn't joking the other night."
"Spike." The note of anger grew noticeably louder.
"Now, now, Riley, old boy." The bleached vampire raised blue eyes to Riley. "No need to get touchy." He feigned a sigh. "Young people these days...so rude to their elders." With a shrug, he added. "I can't call him off anyway. He might get...cranky."
The floppy-haired commando started for the vampire furiously, only to stop with a yell, the pounding against his leg replaced by a stinging as the claws plunged through his skin, drawing blood.
"Told you." Spike smirked.
Looking down, the TA was met by a pair of gleaming, liquid gold eyes, two centred blades of ivory glinting in the dull moonlight hanging from the rabbit's lips.
Grabbing his stake, the trainee-slayer moved too slowly, as the rabbit leapt up, it's fangs plunging deep into the artery at the top of the young man's thigh, hot blood gushing quickly from the wound.
Watching his newest childe work, Spike wiped away a tear of pride, laying a hand across his heart as he quoted. "Death awaits you all, with big nasty, pointy teeth."
~~~~~
Looking around suspisciously, Buffy frowned. Normally, Riley would be waiting at this bench for h...
Blood.
Blood was dotted on the ground near the bench, puddling under the marble seat.
Bending, the Slayer tentatively dipped her fingers in a small pool of crimson, a sick feeling rising in her stomach at the light warmth that tainted her fingertips.
Turning her face away, she saw a foot protruding from a bush and scrambled over to it, jerking the lifeless corpse out of the shrubbery, only to stifle a heart-broken sob.
Riley's olive eyes stared obliviously up into the clear, empty night sky, his blood still trickling unnoticed from his wound.
"Riley?" Shaking him, her small hands on his shoulders, Buffy shook her head in denial, as his head lolled back.
Hugging him to her chest, she buried her face in his shoulder, sobbing painfully, clinging to him as if she could bring him back to life just by wishing.
This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not when everything had been going so well.
From the shadows, Spike watched, a grin curling his lips, as he ran a hand over his childe's head. "Well done, mate." he murmured, turning and walking into the darkness.
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