Everything I do
TITLE: Everything I do
AUTHOR: Fyre
EMAIL: Fyredansa@hotmail.com
SUMMARY: Spike watches over the Slayer
FEEDBACK: I neeeeeeeeeeeeed it!
DISTRIBUTION: Just here at the mo...but anyone can have it :-) Just ask nicely ;-)
SPOILERS: All of Season Five really
COUPLE: Not exactly a couple
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Not the song nor the show are mine. Can we say unfair?
CLASSIFICATION: Sad and sappy story
NOTES: This was actually yet another improv from Having a Thought - Improv : rain, bound, crave, glow.
DEDICATED: The improv group for letting my insanity loose!
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Hidden in the shadows, he watched her. Silent and unseen, he waited, just for a glimpse of her, even if it lasted less than a second.
Leaning against the tree trunk, he folded his arms defensively, wishing that the feelings, the want...even the love would just go. That he could rip it out his head, along with the chip, but it was never that easy.
A light breeze rustled the leaves above him, the quarter moon barely visible between the overhanging clouds. His duster flapped against his legs, but he didn’t notice, his eyes fixed on the tiny figure.
He felt every blow she felt, his jaw clenched tightly.
She had told him to stay away, that she didn’t need him, but he couldn’t bear to see her there, fighting alone as she did, so many nights. She was only one person. One small and – although she hated to accept it – fragile person.
And still, he lurked.
A regular, old-fashioned brood-boy, that’s what he was becoming. Just like the bloody poof.
“Slayer!” Jerking upright, he leapt over several gravestones in three quick leaps, grabbing the vampire who was creeping up behind the petite blonde. His eyes flaming gold, his hands locked on either side of the vampire’s head.
With one swift tug, the bleach blonde vampire’s hands were coated thickly with dust as his victim’s head crumbled, the rest of the body exploding on the grassy ground silently.
Stabbing her stake into her present attackers chest, Buffy whipped around, her hazel eyes blazing furiously. Behind her, her victim crumbled, his ashes tossed carelessly across the cemetary by the light wind.
“What the hell do you think you were doing?”
“I think I just saved your bloody life!” His features shifted back to the more human planes, his blue eyes gleaming as dangerously as his golden demon ones. “You owe me, Slayer.”
Her fist shot out, smashing his jaw. “I was doing just fine.” She grated chillingly, reversing the blow, his head snapping painfully away from her. “I told you to stay away.” It had been only days since he had brought her boyfriend’s betrayal to light and she was still finding it difficult to deal with it. “Can’t you do anything I ask?”
Raising a hand, he touched his jaw gingerly, clamping his teeth together. Slowly, he turned his face back to her, his pale blue eyes settling slowly on her face, wondering why he bothered.
The fire in the hazel eyes answered his question. The fire that masked her despair, solitude and misery. Those emotions that had filled his life and still did, the emotions he only found in her.
They were well-matched, the two of them. Mortal enemies, they were, but they were the still same. Neither of them were like other members of their own societies, neither of them were particularly accepted, both had known heartbreak, loss and loneliness.
If only she could see passed it, passed the whole vampire-slayer issue, she would be able to see – in her soul – that they were everything to each other. She needed him as much as he needed her, even if she couldn’t face that truth.
“You owe me, Slayer.” He repeated sullenly, stalking away into the darkness, his duster swirling around him, in the shadows and out of her sight, but never more than a scream’s distance away.
Watching her stomp off in the direction of home, he allowed himself a tiny smile of pride. She had known she was in trouble, yet she hadn’t lost her cool. She had been stubborn enough to say she could have taken the second vampire.
But he hadn’t been willing to risk that. She was everything to him now, she was his unlife, which was the strangest thing he could ever recall accepting.
Apparently Drusilla wasn’t the only barmy vampire in the family, he acknowledged with a dopey grin, as he pivoted on heel. Keeping in the shadows, he followed, making certain she got home safely.
Definitely not the only barmy vampire.
//Look into my eyes you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more//
Propping his chin in his hands, Spike stared blankly at the screen of the television, a low sigh escaping him.
He truly was pathetic, he knew it, but he loved her.
Only the night before, they had finally been able to fight side-by-side, for the first time in the three and a half weeks since the soldier-boy’s departure.
True, it had taken some convincing from the Watcher, but he and the Slayer had kicked some ass in a truly spectacular fashion.
He grinned ruefully remembering her expression when he had plunged the ax into the demon’s belly spewing bright green blood, innards and slimey goop all over her, completely missing him.
First she had just sat, looking a little surprised, then she had gone through the phase of being disgusted and finally had gotten to the stage of yelling that it was all his fault, pelting him with the gunge.
It had ended up in an all-out slime war, both of them screaming obscenities at each other and – worst of all – insulting each others hair!
He chuckled, remembering all the bottle-blonde jokes that had flown, along with the globs of green mucus.
He couldn’t imagine Dru doing that. She would have moped and pouted and whimpered about her dress, but not the Slayer. The Slayer had pinned him down and rubbed that goop into his hair until he yelled for mercy.
She gave as good as she got and then some. In spite of Captain Cardboard, she was still as tough and resilient as ever. Her attitude after the bastard’s betrayal had impressed even him.
She was fun.
Even after the goop fight, when several fledglings took it upon themselves to rise within minutes of each other, she had immediately pulled a couple of stakes out of two hidden recesses of her clothing.
Tossing one of the stakes to Spike, she had even managed to remark. “I don’t keep them where you’re thinking, ‘mate’.”
The mental pictures that had accompanied that remark made his eyes bulge and his jaw drop. “Where do you keep ‘em then, pet?” He had called back, when he had gotten his raging undead hormones under control.
Turning to face him, a naughty gleam in her eye, she stabbed the stake back under her arm, staking one of the seven fledglings. “Do a good job,” She replied. “And I might just show you.”
Gave him a whole new reason for fighting. He had tried his best to take out more of them than she did, but she had won hands down, five vamps to two.
But he had been her back-up and support and he had done everything he could do for her that night.
Including making her laugh for the first time in weeks.
Somehow, that made it all worth it.
Just for a single smile.
Slapping a pillow across his face, Spike sank back with a low wail of despair. Had there ever been anyone who was anywhere as near pathetic as he was now? He really doubted it.
Getting sappy over a smiling Slayer.
But – to coin a Scooby phrase – it had given him one helluva happy. He might not be able to have her, but at least he would be there for her, willing to do anything and everything for her.
Sappy, poofy sod.
//Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do I do it for you//
“Spike! You ass!”
Rolling to his feet from his position on his stomach, between her thighs, Spike grimaced, the heel of his hand pressed to his temple. “I thought it was a demon, luv...and ow!”
“A demon?” Buffy sat up and folded her arms, raising an eyebrow. “Mister Big Bad-Ass vampire can’t tell an over-weight human from a nasty, big old slimey demon that smells of sulpher?”
Spike shrugged, giving her a cocky grin, as she got to her feet and brushed her skirt down. “I only did it for a closer look at the scenery, luv.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her.
“You’re a pig, Spike.” Punching him on the arm with enough force to knock him off his feet, she allowed herself a grin.
She couldn’t understand why Spike was being so...like this. Since they had – albeit reluctantly – started talking again, he had accompanied her on patrols, kept her company when she was researching or studying, picked fights with her when she needed to work off her tension.
“Yes, I am.” He agreed amiably, picking himself up and rubbing his arm. “And for that, I’m going to have to wrestle you into the mud and make your hair go a lovely shade of brown.”
“Back off!” She squealed, as he prowled towards her. Grabbing her tiny silver cross from her throat, she waved it in his direction, breaking into fits of the giggles as he pulled a face and pouted.
Jutting out his lower lip, he glared at her. “That’s not fair, you know, luv.”
“And falling with your face down the front of my shirt is?”
Spike grinned widely, leering at her. “Oh yeah.” He replied, smacking his lips. “Its very, very fair down there.”
“I don’t know why you can’t be nice, Spike.” She sighed, rolling her eyes and socking him in the jaw the moment he got to close. “I mean, when vamps stop biting, you’d think they would be nicer.”
Spike’s scarred brow rose. “You mean I should be hugging all the cutesy baby bunnies and dancing around in a frock, singin’ that the hills are alive with the sound of soddin’ music?”
“What!” Slapping a hand over her mouth to stifle the shriek of laughter, Bufffy’s eyes danced with amusement. “You...a nun...and singing? Is it possible that you could have given me a more bizarre mental image?”
“I didn’t tell you what I wanted to do to those huggy bunnies, did I?” His eyes glinting with mischief, he leapt to his feet, throwing his arms wide and half-sang, half-bellowed. “The hills are alive with the sound of music!”
The Slayer’s face went an interesting shade of crimson as she tried to hold in another snort of laughter. “You really are a complete lunatic, you know.” She chuckled, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.
“And you love it.” He winked at her, his tone jesting, but – if she had paused to look beyond the playful humour in those blue eyes – she may have seen something she would never have believed possible in a soulless demon.
A demon that would give and do anything for her.
//Look into my heart you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice//
Crunch.
Buffy raised her head to glare at the demon. “Don’t do that.”
Crunch.
“Do what, Slayer?”
Crunch.
“You know what, Vampire.”
He gave her his best innocent look.
She glared, then turned back to the books piled around her.
Crunch.
“That’s it!” Snatching the bucket of popcorn out of his hands, she crushed the top and hurled it away to land on a grassy verge on the other side of the cemetary, leaving the vampire staring woefully after it.
“I was eatin’ that, luv.”
Buffy glanced over at him from between loose, silky curtains of blonde hair and he swore he thought his heart was going to start beating again, only to stop again. “Bite me.” She scowled at him in feigned annoyance.
“Happy to oblige.” Leaning over towards her, he received a sharp slap in the face, the same reaction he usually got from her, only without the force to send him flying halfway to his crypt. It only seemed fitting, since they no longer were trying to kill each other.
Crunch.
The blonde girl’s eyes snapped up to him. “I told you, stop doing that already!”
“Er...Slayer...” Spike was on his feet in one, smooth, cat-like motion. “I don’t think it was me this time.”
Before she could even get to her feet, the bleached vampire tackled the demon that was rising out of the bushes behind the Slayer. Crushing the seven foot tall demon to the ground, he pummeled it fiercely.
“Listen” Smack “Mate.” Punch. “That’s” Crack. “My” Crunch. “Slayer.” Thump. “Only I” Bamsnapsquish. “kill” Jerk. “her.”
Catching the dagger Buffy tossed to him, he bent and casually stabbed it cleanly through the demon’s epicentre. “No one but me, mate.” He added, swiping the blade clean on his jeans.
“I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.” The Slayer remarked dryly, getting to her feet to join the vampire, both of them looking down at the flaking corpse of the scaly demon.
“What? That I wanna be the one to kill you?”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “That they sent such a big, yet tacky lookin’ demon to take me out.” She replied, poking it with her foot. “Maybe I can get back to my study now, though. No more Big Bad’s due.”
“Don’t I even get a thank you, pet?”
Batting her eyes, Buffy grinned at him. “Why? Normally you just sit. The fact that I just sat just evens the balance a little.” Reaching up, she patted his cheek. “Watch your back, blondie bear.”
“I prefer to watch yours.” Winking at her, he received a smack to the stomach, as she gathered her gear.
Loading stakes, notebooks, chocolate and mini-marshmallows into her bag, the Slayer tucked Mister Pointy into one of her hidden pockets. “I don’t need you to fight for me, Spike. I know fighting them makes you feel better, but its kinda my full time gig here.”
As she headed towards the exit of the cemetary, Spike shrugged. Jamming his hands deep in the pockets of his duster, he silently shadowed her.
She would never understand that he did the killing for her, so that she wouldn’t have to. So that she could have some semblance of normalcy in her otherwise-crazy little life. So that she could be happy.
He didn’t fight for himself anymore.
He fought for her.
//Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you//
“Guys, this is Ben. Ben, these are my friends.”
The new boyfriend looked nervously round at the little group, all of whom stared back with equal intensity. “Um...hi, Buffy told me a lot about you guys.”
Spike bit down on his lower lip, staring intently at the blur of black and white on the page in front of him. Grunting an acknowledgement, he couldn’t bring himself to raise his head. If he did, the kid wouldn’t live to see the dawn, chip or no chip.
The others were all making basic welcoming sounds.
Easily, he was more acceptible than Riley – that big farm-boy lug that had made his girl’s life a misery for almost six months, before she had finally been able to get over him and move on.
To an equally big farmboy-lug apparently.
From Texas.
Unfortunately not a semi-decent-looking, Billy-Idol-inspirer, cool-skinned, warm-hearted vampire from good olde Englande.
The very vampire that was little more than a hollow,worthless shell, whenever Buffy wasn’t around. He lived for her and her alone, even if he knew she would never feel the same way.
Grimacing, Spike admitted it was better to even have her affection as a friend, than to have her hating his guts, like she used to. Any kind of Buffy love – even just mild like – was better than nothing.
Raising his eyes, he glanced up at her. She looked radiant, her smile splitting her face, brighter than his memories of the sun.
Briefly, he wondered how she would feel if she found someone who loved her a fraction as much as he did. After all, she deserved it. She had been through the grinder too many times and – for once – deserved a little happiness.
Even if someone else was at the receiving end of her love.
//There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way//
Leaning against the side of the crypt, Spike exhaled.
She was definitely happy. Pregnant and very, very bloody happy with her little Texan hubby.
Ben.
Eventually, even Spike had to admit the guy wasn’t so bad, even if he wanted to tear his soddin’ throat out for stealing the second girl he’d ever truly loved. He was funny and he obviously was devoted to the Slayer.
But not nearly as much as Spike himself was. No one could match that. Not even Angel and it made Spike sick to his stomach to realise that he would rather be a human than have the chip out, if it meant knowing Buffy at all.
Ben had learned about the Slaying issue very early on in the relationship and had taken it surprisingly well. Turned out his grandfather had been a Watcher or some piffle like that.
Now, the whole Scooby Gang – still together after seven years – were awaiting a demon that was meant to have risen, in an attempt to take over the world, yet again, by killing the Slayer.
Spike smirked chillingly. **Not on my shift, mate.**
Sauntering over to the Slayer and her better half, the blonde vampire inclined his head in greeting. “Any sign of the big bad, yet?”
“Not yet.” Buffy smile at him, looking radiant. If anything, pregnancy made her even more beautiful than he could ever recall seeing her. It was like there was a light shining deep within her. “Ben...?”
Taking the hint, her husband moved off to go and talk to Willow and Xander. The Slayer reached out and took the vampire’s cool hand in hers. “Thanks for coming along, Spike.”
With a snort of feigned disgust, Spike flicked the ash off his cigarette. “I couldn’t leave your chums to defend you now, could I?”
“Walk with me?” She asked, looping an arm through his leather-clad one. In spite of their past, she had to admit that she was able to count the vampire among her small group of most trusted friends.
“Shouldn’t we be waiting for a bloody great big demon thing to attack us?” He enquired dryly.
Buffy’s eyebrows rose. “Okay.” She agreed, swatting him across the backside. “I’ll take this side, you take that side, okay?”
“You know I hate it when you tell me what to do.” He grumbled, thrusting his hands into his pockets with an indignant pout. “If you need any help...”
“I’ll scream for my Big, Bad-Ass vamp with the desperately-in-need-of-a-bleach-roots to come and rescue me.” She winked at him.
Sighing, Spike shook his head. “I can’t see my roots.” He muttered, just loud enough for her to hear him, as he wandered away. “Don’t have a soddin’ reflection, bloody woman.”
Chuckling softly, not even bothering to watch which direction the vampire was going, Buffy had barely gotten half a dozen steps into the underbrush, when she felt a pain surging through her, raising her head to see a shadowy figure looming over her.
A strangled scream broke from her lips.
Not for her husband. Not for her friends. Not even for the first love of her life who was still lurking out there somewhere.
She screamed for Spike.
//Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you – Yeah, I'd die for you//
None of them would reach her in time. None of them could reach her in time. None of them – that is – except him.
He exploded into the clearing to see his Slayer curled on the ground, her tiny body contorted in pain, her face stained with tears and terror, her arms protectively surrounding her belly.
She was sobbing his name as the tall figure bent over her, claws extended.
The demon needed her heart, the heart of the Slayer. Which meant those claws were only about to be used for one thing. One thing only he – Spike – had the speed to prevent, as he dived forward.
Lunging over her body, the bleach-blonde vampire stabbed upwards sharply with one of the Slayer’s daggers, as the claws stabbed down, aiming for the pregnant’s Slayer’s chest.
The dagger sliced through layers of ivory-coloured flesh, a gush of purple blood streaming from the wound, as the demon tottered backwards with a hawking, cawing sound, collapsing in a heap of limbs and tentacles.
“Spike?” Buffy whispered in a tiny voice.
“It’s...dead, luv.” He whispered harshly, his body arched backwards over her curled on. Rolling weakly onto his side, he turned his blue eyes towards her, leaning heavily on his side, his back to her.
Rising onto her knees, the Slayer stared at the creature. Something was missing. Its claws. They had all...
“Spike?”
He gave her a tender smile. “You know what...?” He whispered, finding the strength to raise his hand. Touching her cheek, he softly murmured. “I never told you how much I bloody love you, Slayer.”
“Don’t talk like that...don’t talk like its the end, Spike, please...don’t abandon me now.” She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes, never seeing her friends run into the clearing. “Whose ass will I kick? Who can I fight with?”
The vampire flopped onto his back weakly, seven steel-like claws protruding from his chest, as he drew her fingertips to his lips to kiss them lightly. “I’m sure,” He spoke softly, a trickle of blood snaking from the corner of his mouth. “You...you’ll find someone...pet.”
“No!” Lifting his head into her lap, she shook her head angrily. “I don’t want someone else.” She whispered raspingly, her tears splashing on his cheeks, burning more than Holy Water. “I just got used to you and now, after everything, you’re giving up?”
“No.” A dreamy smile crossed his face, his cool blood spreading around them, his eyes growing misty. “I’ll...always be...with you...Slayer.”
“Please,” Pressing her lips to his forehead, she shook her head in denial. “Don’t leave us, Spike, please.”
“Love you...Buffy...”
“Spike?” Shaking his shoulder, she bit down on her lip, tears streaming down her face. “Spike...c’mon! Stop kiddin’ around. Spike? Are you gonna let a few little claws kill ya? Where’s the big bad? C’mon...please?”
“Buffy.” Ben laid his hand on her shoulder. His own blue eyes were filling with tears, as he helped the Slayer to her feet, both of them standing hand-in-hand. His wife in his arms, he held her tightly as her best friend’s body crumbled into dust before her very eyes.
Behind them, the rest of the Scoobies stood in shocked realisation, as they suddenly understood why Spike had stayed for so long.
The demon was more than any of them had given him credit for and now, it was too late to say they were wrong.
He had been willing to give everything for the woman he loved, even if it meant sacrificing his own life for her.
He had shown more about love than any of them would ever learn in a lifetime.
//Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you.//
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