1. Faramir is just too frail and corruptable a person. This is supposed to be a fantasy. Who wants realism in their characters? Not me!
2. Treebeard is clearly stupid not knowing that in one tiny corner of his truly immense forest, some wizard who he hasn't seen in ages has been chopping down a few trees.
3. Legolas is way too cool. I mean, the way he swings on to the horse and slides down the stairs on the shield is just wrong. Elves are supposed to be dull people who sing a lot.
4. Hey guys, it's supposed to be a barely discernable "Stinker" and "Slinker", not "Stinker" and "nice, friendly hobbit who's only mean 'cause he's put down by his other self". Jeez, who put you in charge of writing this character: someone who wanted a sense of on-screen conflict?
5. Gimli is unforgivable. His every line makes me laugh, when he's supposed to be this dour dwarf who occasionally gets forgotten by Tolkien. And then, he goes and spoils his comedy image by actually being pretty good at wielding an axe. Make your mind up, are you supposed to be purely comic relief or a valiant warrior? It's not as if I'm willing to accept that this character might have some depth.
6. Who was it who decided to cast this teenager in the role of Frodo? Yeah, sure he can act; and he has these great eyes which can seem weak, innocent, strong then wise in sequential blinks, but come on! We want complete textual fidelity.
7. What's this whole journey to Osgiliath thing about. I much preferred it in the books where they spent almost three chapters hanging around in this cave not doing very much while Faramir decided whether or not to let them go.
8. The warg battle is just silly. It's far too entertaining a sequence for something which wasn't even in the books.
9. Shelob isn't in it. It's not like they couldn't have squeezed the entire journey past Minas Morgul into an already lengthy film, and shown us the army led by the Witch King starting their journey to attack Minas Tirith, a city we've hardly seen yet, and the battle in front of which we'd have to wait an entire year to see, by which time we would have forgotten where this army came from, and then we could have had a year long cliff-hanger wondering if Sam will be able to rescue Frodo, by which time all of the emotional impact of his capture would have been lost. Just look at how successful the cliffhanger at the end of Matrix Reloaded worked, and you'll instantly see what a bad decision PJ made.
10. Liv Tyler is in the film far too much. I mean, who wants to see a good looking, husky throated brunette working with material which even Tolkien decided to banish to the appendices. I mean, it's not as if it's a really powerful message of how two people can risk and/or sacrifice everything for love, or anything.
1. Eowyn is scared of the Witch King, and even of merely going into battle against an army of a hundred thousand orcs. What a wimp! It's far better in the books where she shows absolutely no fear at all because she's a overly-hormonal girl who can't face being rejected by some bloke she's only just met and so decides that the only thing that could be worthwhile in her life would be to actively seek death in battle. Not to go into battle to help those she loves in whatever way she can, but simply because it's a very romantic way to die. That's a true heroine in my eyes.
2. Frodo tells Sam to go home. This is just monstrous. How dare a ring-wearied and confused Frodo, thinking that his beloved Sam is finally succumbing to the lure of the ring, as have all those before him, even consider sending Sam away for his own safety. And then Sam GOES! What an idiot. Not only has his master ordered him away, but his closest friend has just rejected him, so off he trots as if his feelings were hurt, or something.
3. The army of the dead fight at the Pelennor. I can see no point for doing this. Why couldn't they have done it just like it was in the book, where there's this tremendous battle, and then Gimli and Legolas sit down with the hobbits and say "Hey, guess what I've been doing the last couple of days" and we hear a report of another, less exciting battle where we already know the outcome. And it's not as if PJ couldn't have put in yet another flashback scene. What does he think he's doing, trying to make the film coherent?
4. Frodo practically pushes Gollum into the lava. That's all wrong. Frodo, who was just about to sacrifice the whole of Middle Earth in order to keep the ring for himself, should have suddenly changed his mind and allowed Gollum to prance around with it. The idea that Frodo might actually attempt to regain the ring and also seek vengeance for the loss of his finger would be laughable if it weren't so repellant. Heroes should always be noble and flawless except where it helps to make the plot more interesting.
5. Legolas is way too cool (again!)
"Frodo's been stabbed by a Morgul blade.
Quick, find Kingsfoil! Search the whole glade"
When who should come riding out of the night?
But Arwen, wreathed in shimmering light.
Galloping then, the two of them rode
To Rivendell, Elrond's homely abode.
A heartbeat behind the Ringwraiths gave chase;
Leaping and swerving. Ah! Cuts to her face!
She called down the river, swift verses repeating,
The Nazgul were swamped, pathetically bleating.
But I hated that scene as she stood by the brook
'Cause that's not what it says in the book.
They paused to grieve at Balin's tomb
In Moria, in Khazad-dum.
"We cannot linger" Leggy said
And Pippin pushed a corpse long dead
Which plunged into the darkness deep
And roused the orcs again from sleep.
"What did you do, you fool of a Took?
'Cause that's not what it says in the book."
Murderer Smeagol was feeling low
Being stepped on by his alter ego.
"Leave now" he cried "And never come back."
"With Frodo here, there's nothing I lack."
Then Gollum departed and Smeagol was free
So he pranced round, gurgling in victory.
Curse him forever: PJ, the crook,
'Cause that's not what it says in the book.
The fell beast swooped as Osgiliath burned
And Frodo was tempted and nearly returned
The Ring to its Master, the Dark Lord grim.
But Sam jumped up, risked life and limb
To save Master Frodo, oh what a star!
"Without you here, Sam, I'd not have got far."
But my heart wasn't stirred, although the earth shook,
'Cause that's not what it says in the book.
Gollum was spreading all lies and deceit
While purring and pawing around Frodo's feet.
Then, with the food cast back down the stair,
Sam was found guilty with crumbs in his hair.
"Go home, Sam", Frodo said and climbed higher.
With tears in his eyes Sam turned back for the Shire
I just don't approve of the liberties took
'Cause that's not what it says in the book.
The call of horns sounded, cavalry charged,
The red orcs were routed, running they were,
But warriors, wicked, war-paint enshrouded,
Pushed forward and onward, fearsome and fey.
The Rohirrim were faced with defeat
When Aragorn came with the Corsairs' fleet.
Enveloping all that stood in their way
The dead army conquered and saved the day.
Yes I hated this film, the "feel" and the "look",
'Cause that's NOT what it says in the book!