Vampyres: Fluff: What Do You Give The Vampire That Has Everything?

["A. Fraser" <redoak@interlog.com>]

Well, humanized, interiorized, wimpy, angsty, whiny, or not; here he is,
Baron Gideon Redoak, in a very short piece.  It's the Baron's birthday
today (not to mention the Alter Ego's), so be nice.
____
What Do You Give The Vampire That Has Everything?
by Anne Fraser
copyright 2000
_____

Baron Gideon Redoak had never wanted a fuss made about his birthday.  No
fuss 
had ever been made about it during his brief mortal years, and he saw no
point 
to celebrating a mortal birthday when he was no longer mortal.  Nor did
he, as 
some of the other undead were wont, celebrate his "turnday".  That was a
night 
he'd just as soon not remember.

But Joshua, damn him, had ferreted out the date of Gideon's birth and
had 
insisted that the date be remembered with a small celebration.  So it
had becoem 
traditional for the Oakwoods residents and whatever friends happened to
be 
passing to have a convivial evening of drinks and snacks, and offer
gifts to the 
reluctant recipient.

It was very difficult to buy gifts for Gideon.  He insisted that he
wanted 
nothing.  He was not the sort of man you could give electronic gadgets,
for they 
baffled him for the most part and he tended to give them one try and
then 
abandon them to Mitch.  Clothing was also generally out of the
question--few 
people would be willing to go to a Saville Row tailor to purchase a new 
double-breasted suit, and you couldn't give Gideon a sweatshirt.  He
didn't wear 
cologne, and a man can only drink so much brandy.  He wore no jewellery
other 
than his wedding ring and the occasional tie clip or stick pin.  There
was 
already an abundance of delicate, expensive knickknacks in Oakwoods.

Joshua normally enjoyed the challenge, and had met it in fairly
inventive ways 
in the past.  Once he'd given Gideon an antique chair, another time it
had been 
an Alaskan cruise.  But now, at the end of the millennium, he was fresh
out of 
ideas.  Consultations with Mitch, Evan, members of the Brotherhood...
all proved 
fruitless for what to give the love of Josh's life.

So, knowing the outcome in advance, he took the plunge and confronted
Gideon.
In the privacy of their bedroom suite, while his love was more or less
trapped 
in the bathtub, Josh brought up the difficult question.  It is very
difficult for someone to avoid you when they're naked and soaking in
several inches of hot water, surrounded by toy boats (from Evan) and a
large yellow rubber duck (from Mitch).

"Gideon," Josh said, picking up the loofah and attacking a Baronial back
with it, "would you be interested in another trip?"

Those fine dark eyes, the eyes Josh had fallen in love with, narrowed.
"Why?" Gideon asked.

"Just curious.  There are so many places we've never gone together.  Or
is there somewhere you'd like to revisit?  New Orleans?  France?"

Gideon shifted so that Josh could scrub the places he couldn't reach
himself.  "No.  I am not currently experiencing any great wanderlust."

"Not even New Orleans?"  Josh couldn't keep the speculation and pique
out of his voice. 

Gideon repeated, "No."  Softly.

"Club Undead?"  Josh knew he was pleading, angling for some sign of
interest.

A shake of the head.  "Is this about my birthday?"

"I don't know what to get you."

"Nothing.  I don't want birthday presents, Joshua.  I do not see why I
should celebrate my birthday."

"Because you should," Josh said.  "It's important.  It matters."

Gideon sighed.  He could not make his lover understand that it wasn't
important.  And perhaps, in his secret heart, it was important.  It did
matter that someone loved him enough to want him to have a birthday.

"You're all wet," he said.

"I am _not_," Josh replied indignantly.  "It does matter that you have a
birthday."

"That is not what I meant. You have allowed the sponge to soak your
clothing."

"Oh, damn."  Josh pulled at his sopping shirt.  "Never even noticed. 
You have a way of distracting me."

"Why not join me?" Gideon patted the bottom of the tub, creating a small
tidal wave that threatened to swamp his tiny fleet and the large duck.
(Josh always put the toys in the tub--left to his own, Gideon would
never even have taken them out of the original packaging).  

It took Josh less than a minute to strip off his clothes and add his
lanky form to the population of the large bathtub.  He picked up the
duck and made it squeak.

"If that were a real duck," Gideon frowned, "it would have to be put out
of its misery."

"Careful, or I'll get you a real duck for your birthday," Josh warned,
wagging his finger.

Gideon reached out and captured the finger. "I do not want wildfowl,
wildlife, tame fowl or tame animals, birds, insects or arthropods of any
description for my birthday," he said carefully.  

"What DO you want?" Josh asked in desperation.

"Everything I could possibly want, I already have," Gideon replied.

"There must be something you want!  Gideon, I really want to get you
something.  Give me a hint."

"You have already given me the greatest gift I could ever have, Joshua."

"What's that?" Josh demanded, exasperated.

"You."

_____

Everybody go "awwww!"