The Jungle is Quiet ______ copyright 1995 by Anne Fraser ______ The jungle is quiet. Too quiet. Don't you think? I mean, you should be able to hear the beat-beat-beat of the tom-tom-tom and the drip-drip-drip of the jungle vine... "Night and day-ay..." Okay, okay, I'll stop singing. No need to give me the cold shoulder. But it is quiet, isn't it? It even seems to be affecting you. Jungles are supposed to be full of noises--birds, if nothing else. There's not a parrot in sight. You could almost hear the sound of a deadly anaconda slithering up to you... All right! No snake jokes, either. Sheesh, you are no fun at all. It really is quiet though. They say this part of the jungle is haunted, you know. Oh, you hadn't heard? Yeah, they didn't want us to come here. They're probably just hiding some stupid lost city or fabulous treasure, like in that movie. I mean, a haunted jungle? Gimme a break. Did you hear something? I could've sworn I heard... heh, never mind. Just my imagination. These native superstitions can really prey on your mind if you let them. What's the haunting? Are you ready for this? Gigantic vampire bats! I know, I know--it's the wrong part of the world for vampire bats. These are supposed to be shape-shifters on top of it all. They swoop down on trespassers in their jungle and carry them off to their lairs. And drink their blood, of course. Isn't that the silliest thing you've ever heard? Haunted by giant vampire bat shape-shifters! Funny updrafts they have around here. I mean, have you ever seen a vampire bat? You can hold one in the palm of your hand and have room left over for a tarantula. There's no way one could carry off anything bigger than an insect. Are you sure you didn't hear anything? Sounded just like...no, I'm not letting a fairy tale get to me. So that's the haunted jungle story. Pretty silly. Giant vampire bats! But it really is quiet, don't you think? Don't you think? 'Smatter, bat got your tongue? Get it? H-hello? The jungle is quiet.