A Walk to Remember copyright 2002 by Anne Fraser Oak leaves, crisped brown by the relentless summer and curled up in protest against their early demise, crunched underfoot as two men walked side by side across the lawn of Oakwoods. The smell of their decay mingled with that of the ever-present ocean below the cliff. From far across the lawn came the excited staccato barking of a spaniel. "Pumpkin probably found a squirrel," remarked the taller of the two men. Lean and handsome, sandy-haired and warm-eyed, Josh Trevallion smiled indulgently as he said this. Gideon Redoak nodded, although he did not smile. It took more than a spaniel to make this dark-haired vampire with the beautiful eyes smile. "What on earth would she do if she ever caught one?" he asked. Pumpkin the spaniel was the terror of the Cliff Road squirrels. "Faint from the shock, probably," Josh laughed. Another nod, but it was obvious that Gideon wasn't thinking about squirrels or spaniels. He continued walking, ignoring the antics of the spaniel, deep in thought. Joshua knew his husband well. If he prodded, he'd never find out what was on Gideon's mind. Better to let Gideon be the one to speak. "There has been an new increase of talk from the CotN," Gideon said finally. "Once again, a new person has arrived on the scene and asked questions which are difficult to answer." "Yes, Mockingbird," Josh nodded. "I'm not sure if it's a man or a woman." "Asking what attracts us about vampires," Gideon continued as if Josh hadn't spoken. "As if most of us had had a choice." "Ah." That one syllable, almost a sigh, said it all. Most of the CotN, the Children of the Night, had _not_ had a choice about what they had become. Joshua was a real rarity. He had quite deliberately chosen to become a vampire. He was still so new a one that you could smell it on him, like the sizing on new clothes. "So, is it the freedom, or the recognition?" Gideon asked. "The recognition, my dear, of course," Josh answered, in a fairly decent imitation of Adrian Talbot. The look he got would have flattened mountains. "Gideon, you know what made me choose. It came down to two things; I could not bear to leave you, and I did not wish to die a slow lingering death by AIDS. Neither freedom nor recognition came into it at all. Being a vampire is not freedom, except to the very young and careless. Simply because you _can_ do nearly anything you want without fear of the consequences does not give you the _right_ to. As for recognition, who wants to go around shouting that they're a vampire? I chose out of love, not for any other reason. I suppose that makes me nearly unique." "Your turndam is another who so chose," Gideon said, referring to Genevieve de Monet, his old friend, who had turned Joshua. "Yes," Josh nodded. "I think that's why she agreed to turn me. That, and because she loves you." "She loves you, too, you know," Gideon demurred, embarrassed as always by any suggestion that he was in any way special. Josh shook his head, sighing. "I don't feel as if I have unlimited freedom, or that I want to have mortals bowing to me and obeying my commands," he said. "What it means to _me_ to be a vampire is simply a slightly changed diet and an inability to tan. Yes, I'm stronger and faster than I was as a human, and those powers may come in handy if we ever have another bad situation with the Brotherhood; but I'm quite content until then to live quietly with the ones I love and just try to get on with my life." "There are those who would see that as a betrayal of everything a vampire stands for," Gideon warned, although he agreed with Joshua. What was the point of brandishing your power about and behaving like a monster? In the end, it only earned you enemies and an unquiet life. "Fuck them," said Josh simply. "They can live however they want to, but they've got no right to criticise me for my unlifestyle." That earned a rare laugh from Gideon. "My dear, I wasn't criticising, your lifestyle is my own, remember?" Something, close to devilment, danced briefly in those pretty dark eyes of the Baron's. "And I certainly don't want to fuck _them_." The shock of hearing Gideon swear combined with the promise in those eyes made Joshua laugh again and hold out his hand. "Well, then," he said, "come with me, and we'll go chase our own squirrels."