”Nobody looks good with

brown lipstick on”

A compilation of Zappa’s quotes

“Jazz is not dead...it just smells funny.”

“It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner.”

“I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow...”

“I have a message to deliver to the cute people of the world... if you're cute, or maybe you're beautiful... there's more of us ugly motherfuckers out there than you are!! So watch out.”

“Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe.”

“It's better to have something to remember than nothing to reget...”

“There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.”

“Information is not knowledge”

“The more BORING a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being GOOD PARENTS -- because they have a TAME CHILD-CREATURE in their house.”

“The worst aspect of ‘typical familyism’ (as media-merchandised) is that it glorifies involuntary homogenization.”

“Stupidity has a certain charm...

ignorance does not.”

“Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.”

“Look, just because you have got that fuckin' thing between your legs it doesn't make any diference. If a girl does something stupid I am going to call her just as I would a guy.”

“Information is not knowledge,

Knowledge is not wisdom,

Wisdom is not truth,

Truth is not beauty,

Beauty is not love,

Love is not music

and Music is the best”

“A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistence of unsuspecting musicians.”

“Without deviation from the norm, 'progress' is not possible.”

“Life is like highschool with money.”

“Where ever you're going, don't walk the first.

If you do, people will think you know where you're going.”

“A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a licence to behave like an asshole.”

“Flatulence can be cruel!”

“Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?”

“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”

“The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is: All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just keep your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.”

“If we can't be free at least we can be cheap.”

“Never stop until your good becomes better, and your better becomes the best.”

“If it entertains you, fine. Enjoy it. If it doesn't, then blow it out your ass. I do it to amuse myself. If I like it, I release it. If somebody else likes it, that's a bonus.”

“If you want to get laid, go to college, but if you want an education, go to the library.”

“The whole Universe is a large joke.

Everything in the Universe are just subdivisions of this joke.

So why take anything too serious.”

“Government is the Entertainment Division of the military-industrial complex.”

“I think "when" is a very important thing, but "what the fuck!" is also a very important thing to ask. Just keep asking "what the fuck?" I mean, why the fuck bother? See what I mean? The important thing is, deal with the "when". "When" will open a lot of shit for you. "What the fuck" really makes it easier to deal with it when you understand the "when".”

“It has never mattered to me that thirty million people might think I'm wrong. The number of people who thought Hitler was right did not make him right...”

“I never took a shit on stage, and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973.”

“If something goes wrong and you tend to smile it away, then you have someone to blame.”

“Seeing a psychotherapist is not a crazy idea, it’s just wanting a second opinion of ones life.”

“A true Zen saying, nothing is what I want.”

“Seriousity is something to be laughed at.”

“Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money.”

(being asked by Tipper Gore if there was anything

on the TV he didn't allow his kids to watch ...)

“...I think (Abbey Road is) the best engineered, best mastered rock and roll album ever produced...except that I take exception to stereo placement.”

“I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?”

(In response to Tipper Gore's allegations that music incites people

towards deviant behavior, or influences their behavior in general.)

“So long as somebody gets a laugh out of it, what the fuck?”

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesnt work if it not open.”

“People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble.”

“Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on...

In other words, don't kiss ass.”

Frank Zappa

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